- Who are my friends?
- Does this new person like me?
- Will they be my friend?
- Why doesn't anyone want to hang out with me?
- What's up with my hair?!
There's this group of moms at Caitlin's school that I've seen and waved to since kindergarten, but since I'm always worn out with the twins, I've never had time/taken the time to get to know them. This year, since the twins are a lot more interested in hanging out after school and playing in the sandbox, I've taken the time.
You know, hang out and chat. And I think...I think...they might even like me! Today I even went on a walk with one, after drop off. It went well! The twins got to go on an hour long walk/ride and I got to talk to an actual adult during school hours.
So what I want to know is this: is it really this hard to make new friends and click with people? Gah! Has nothing really changed inside since I was 14? I'm still worried about making and keeping friends. I still freak out (quietly) when they don't call me for weeks on end. I still wonder what I've done or said or should've done or said that would have kept someone my friend longer. I keep wondering if I'm ever going to get over this feeling that I just don't fit in.
Besides, how do I explain all of this to Caitlin? Do I really tell her it never really gets better? That she's going to spend the next 32 years wondering if they're talking about her once she leaves the room? Ack!
Is it just me? Do you ever stop feeling like the kid on the other side of the fence?
humpf. I bet your grass is greener, too.