tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post8779235736045943320..comments2023-10-12T02:02:54.330-06:00Comments on Woman with a Hatchet: Male privilegeWoman with a Hatchethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16539793554273012568noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-44953372408300379852007-06-21T13:44:00.000-06:002007-06-21T13:44:00.000-06:00The anger that I am expressing is about the nature...The anger that <I>I</I> am expressing is about the nature of our society harming women the majority of the time. I even said that men are also raped.<BR/><BR/>I certainly never said that I hate men. Hell, I am <B>married</B> to one and about to have more children by him. Do I sound like I hate my <I>husband</I> who is a male?<BR/><BR/>There are certainly women that abuse men, however this does not distract from the fact that the majority of the time the abuse is male vs. female and that there is <I>no way</I> anyone reading anything I've ever written could construe anything I've ever said as "advocating" female vs. male violence. <BR/><BR/>To say that I am, <I>on my own blog</I> is highly insulting.Woman with a Hatchethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539793554273012568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-32821622327342373172007-06-21T13:31:00.000-06:002007-06-21T13:31:00.000-06:00This terrible hole that never goes away - it's the...This terrible hole that never goes away - it's there in part because rape leaves us isolated and unable to communicate with one another. Ironic that expressing feelings about the problem seems to perpetuate the problem! I find that way too convenient for those who don't want to acknowledge responsibility for their own abusive acts - it's easy for them to dismiss legitimate gripes when their prey can't agree on who's to blame.<BR/><BR/>(I am not referring to you guys. I am referring to people who deny, retreat, and abandon rather than be compelled to face the impact of their acts on others.)<BR/><BR/>Sexism harms both genders equally. I want to think the anger expressed here is about the abuse, not about the gender. Am I right?Red Flashlighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04516642207553676622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-56194294218905070472007-06-18T19:37:00.000-06:002007-06-18T19:37:00.000-06:00To Anon male poster: I don't hate you because you ...To Anon male poster: <BR/><BR/>I don't hate you because you are a man, in fact I don't hate you at all. I do find it distressing that you feel that your personal experiences give you the right to tell others they are wrong for talking about theirs, or that the fact that women also commit rape diminishes the fact that they are raped. <BR/><BR/>I find your willingness to jump to conclusions about people based on one comment posted in a blog disconcerting.<BR/> <BR/>However, most of all, I find your belief that I or anyone else, male or female, hates men because we choose to write about some of the things bad men have done to us insulting.<BR/><BR/>I don't have to hate men to hate what certain men have done. I am the daughter of a great man, the wife of a wonderful man, the mother of an amazing man, and the friend of many caring, loving, and dear men. <BR/><BR/>As for what I advocate, obviously you don't get it, because nothing I have said indicates that I would advocate that anyone be abused for any reason. <BR/><BR/>You can take your hate elsewhere.Scyllahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08764751663560015431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-90980597656726126932007-06-17T18:51:00.000-06:002007-06-17T18:51:00.000-06:00I will begin this by saying what I probably should...I will begin this by saying what I probably should not. I am a man. <BR/><BR/>I don't think I should mention that because I fear you will simply not read the rest with an open mind, or that you will dismiss what I have to say due to my gender. <BR/><BR/>I have been physically, verbally and emotionally abused by women. <BR/>I have been raped by a women. <BR/>I have been sexually assaulted by a woman.<BR/>I have been kidnapped by a woman.<BR/><BR/>All my life I have been dominated and abused by women. I have been taught that women are the abusers and men simply victims. I was taught that women should do this to men because men deserve it. They said men deserve it because of what they did and what they would do in the future if women didn't control them. <BR/><BR/>Is that what you would advocate? In some of what you write it seems like you might. <BR/><BR/>Men can understand rape Scylla. We know the anger, the fear, the self-hate, and the hole it leaves that never really goes away. <BR/><BR/>Please don't hate all men because of what was done to you. I don't hate women because of what was done to me. Please don't dismiss us as partners in making society a better place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-28568512935967791332007-05-31T12:34:00.000-06:002007-05-31T12:34:00.000-06:00Anon: You are amazing, and thank you for posting y...Anon: You are amazing, and thank you for posting your comment for us. I appreciate your willingness to share this information with others, not enough stories get told.<BR/> Your post reinforces to me the importance of speaking out against rape and the degradation of women, and will help me remender to do so, even when surrounded by peers who don't share my views. <BR/><BR/>Thank you.Scyllahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08764751663560015431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-49064104411178562892007-05-30T22:34:00.000-06:002007-05-30T22:34:00.000-06:00Anon,I can't even begin to tell you how horrified ...Anon,<BR/><BR/>I can't even begin to tell you how horrified I am by your story. I don't have the words.<BR/><BR/>All I know is that you, personally, have come a long damned way in life and I'm proud I know you.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there.Woman with a Hatchethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539793554273012568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-15305293945626790422007-05-30T22:23:00.000-06:002007-05-30T22:23:00.000-06:00Oh, I forgot to mention that the older sister who ...Oh, I forgot to mention that the older sister who had been gang raped as a teen, may have been molested as a child, and that two of her four children were concieved as a result of marital rape. She's full-blood native Alaskan, and was adopted at birth.<BR/><BR/>Also, I can't tell you about my 4th, and oldest adopted, sister. When we were still in close contact, I was 7 years younger than she. As a 12 year-old, I didn't ask her about things like date rape. <BR/><BR/>I haven't seen her since 1983, because her controlling, racist (anti-white) Native Alaskan husband won't let her travel outside the village in which we primarily grew up, and in which she still resides, because he's afraid she won't come back. Probably with reason 20+ years ago, when we still lived in Alaska and may have had the opportunity to support her emotionally if not financially, if she had decided to leave him. <BR/><BR/>Most of her 4 kids are grown now. But she's no longer the tasmanian-devil, overies-to-the-wall, will try anything older sister I once knew and admired. Last time I spoke to her (in 1998?) she said she was afraid to even get on a snow-mobile. She used to get on my Dad's RACING snow-mobile in the early 80s and race the guys in the village.<BR/><BR/>So, as far as I know, in a family of 5 girls, 4 of them have been molested, date raped, had an attempt made against them and gang-raped. <BR/>How's that for statistics? <BR/><BR/>How many of them were reported to the authorities? <BR/><BR/>NONE. <BR/><BR/>Not even me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-43237507314446304412007-05-29T12:20:00.000-06:002007-05-29T12:20:00.000-06:00As someone who was date raped at 15, whose younger...As someone who was date raped at 15, whose younger sister was molested not once, but twice before she eas even a teen, had one older sister gang raped as a teenager, another older sister lucky as hell that she wasn't raped because she didn't react with fear when the @sshole violently threw her down on a bed, I can tell you, THAT male friend of yours doesn't know his rape statistics. Or the rape/molestation statistics of most female strippers. <BR/><BR/>Adam Carolla of "Loveline" worked as a bouncer for a while in a stip club, and got to know a lot of the strippers he helped protect from free-wheeling hands. He mentioned in one of the shows that most of the women he met had been raped or molested and had very few positive impressions of themselves or the men for whom they danced. <BR/><BR/>When I was a RA for a small liberal arts college, we had to undergo date rape training. One of the frat boys who wanted to be an RA did not believe the 1 in 5 rape statistics being discussed. Flat out did NOT believe it was that many women. He counted us all up and said, "With those statistics, 4 women in this room have either been raped or had an attempt made against them." Five women, including myself, ANGRILY shut him down. I knew there was one more, because we had talked about it before. And the Assistant director of housing told me afterwards that she had been date raped in college. I think he believes the statistics now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33516164.post-37649640771870470222007-05-24T10:21:00.000-06:002007-05-24T10:21:00.000-06:00I think my realization of the inequity in safety f...I think my realization of the inequity in safety for women really hit home when I learned about the rape calendar. A global study was done of women in all countries, classes, professions, ages, etc. This study showed that women subconciously, once they have reached an age to be aware of the existence of rape, schedule their lives around preventing rape. <BR/>All women, in all cultures, choose to walk places that will reduce their chances of being raped, at times that will reduce their chances of being raped. <BR/><BR/>The important thing to notice is this, women do not have crime schedule. They do not subconciously alter their behavior in order to avoid crimes, such as muggings, robbery, battery, murder. They have a RAPE schedule. <BR/><BR/>Rape is so common in the world that women have to build their lives and behaviors around avoiding it. <BR/><BR/>That is an experience men simply do not have. There is no one crime against men that is so common and rampant that they, as a group, have developed a series of behaviors designed to avoid it. <BR/><BR/>My favorite scary experience? I was visiting a friend in LA, and was walking down to Melrose to shop. I was alone. A single man, in a car, began to follow me, he would slowly drive down the street I was walking on, then circle the block and follow me again. Follow, circle, follow, circle. There was no one else around, I did not have a cell phone or weapon. I was about 22 or so. I finally hid inside a store for an hour until he was no longer passing by.Scyllahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08764751663560015431noreply@blogger.com