How to Renovate Your Front Yard

Finished!

Before:

October 2, 2010

After:

October 24, 2010

You, too, can go completely bonkers and decide to tear up your existing garden and re-model it whenever you want. You just have to have the fortitude to carry it out. A plan would help, too (That would have been a good idea. Yup. Sure would've been!)*. Plus some good weather.

Oh, and a strong back, good tools (Did I mention that I snapped a spade right in half and had to get a new one?) and someone to watch over your children for you while you obsess over the garden.

I'm just sayin'....

What did I do and why did I do it? Well, the time was right and Eric was available to watch over the twins while I worked for 8 or 10 hours a day to get the garden in shape. I knew that I needed to beat the first hard frost date (It was October 25th this year.). The sprinklers needed to be shut off, all plants that were going to be moved needed to be moved and everything needed to be snug under a covering of mulch in order to survive freezing temperatures.

Four cubic yards of mulch.

I must admit that I didn't know if I'd be able to get the whole thing done before the freeze came, but October in Colorado can be amazingly beautiful. Warm, sunny, a little breezy and the perfect weather for planting perennials. This way the gardener doesn't have to roast in the sun and neither do the plants. They get a few weeks to settle in to their new locations and set down roots before it gets really cold and you don't have to deal with rain getting the soil all muddy and unworkable.

The key thing I learned is that you should never, ever, EVER use landscape fabric in a garden where you may want the plants to spread and/or naturalize. Doesn't matter how big you think that hole you slit in the fabric was, the plant is going to out grow it and then you'd be left with a half choked plant before you even realized something was wrong. That and the fact that the bark mulch you throw on top of the fabric will eventually break down and turn into what? Compost. Where all of the seeds from your plants will be happy to grow, for at least awhile, until they suddenly die off en mass because they aren't actually in the soil and can't put down a serious root structure.

Therefore, I have spent the last 4 weeks ripping up yards and yards of weed and plant encrusted landscape fabric, shaking the compost back onto the naked soil, tossing the plants I didn't want onto the compost heap and relocating the plants I did want to keep. And boy, oh boy! were there a lot of those! Yarrow reseeded itself with wild abandon all over the front yard. I ripped almost all of it out. There were at least a dozen lavender plants that had happily volunteered around the yard. I relocated most of them. There was a Russian Sage blocking the view of my pink shrub roses. It had to go.

I gave piles of plants away to the folks in my neighborhood. I composted thousands more. I threw down millions of invisible seeds everywhere when I shook the composted bark mulch back onto the soil. Yarrow will probably be springing up all over the place next year, but I'll be ready to rip it out mercilessly!

Yarrrr!

Oh yeah! And I installed 5 newly purchased Salvia greggii 'Rose' (aka Autumn Sage) plants that I'd picked up on sale from the local garden center. They're sort of magenta in color. A rosy-purple. Hummingbirds should love them!

It was as I was attempting to install each of those that it struck me that I was working on one of those little puzzles made up of those little moveable tiles. You know, the ones where one little tile is missing and you have to slide all of the other tiles around and around until you correctly form the picture. (What are those things called, anyway?) In order to install one Salvia, I had to rip out 3 goldenrods, move 5 Agastache 'Apricot Sprite', rip up yards of fabric, pull off plants to keep and plants to toss, dig 6 holes, amend each hole with compost and finally plant all of my plants back in the soil again. Try that on a 50' x 25' scale and it'll take you awhile!

Yes, I did do all of this work on my own until the last 2 days when I had Eric rip out the final Russian sage, some evil weedy grass, a few more yards of fabric along the back (Where I'm going to install a path...next year.) and load compost into the wheelbarrow for me. The neighbors got to know me pretty darned well by the time it was over. I was cheered on by plenty of passersby and complimented on all of my hard work. It made me feel a real sense of community, actually, and made me proud of my work. After all, I made this garden for the hummingbirds and for me, but it pleases me that so many others also get a great sense of enjoyment out of it year after year.

Full garden: October 24, 2010. Click to enlarge.

I'm now really, really looking forward to Spring. It's gonna look AWESOME!

Edited to add: OK, now you can click on the garden photos and get the enlarged image. Then, you can click AGAIN to get the super duper sized image. You know, in case you wanted details. Turns out the new photo editor thingy in Blogspot removes your ability to click on the images if you decide to add a caption to them. Whoops!




* Mostly my "plan" involved ripping up the landscape fabric, removing weeds and then finding and relocating shorter plants to the front, removing excess yarrow and coneflower, installing the 5 new Autumn sage and then creating little vignettes with groups of plants. If all works out as I envisioned it, there should be drifts of columbines throughout the garden now, as well as 'Boulder Blue' fescue repeated in groups of 5 across the front, taller plants were removed from the first few feet nearest the sidewalk and anything over 2' tall were removed from the main spray path of the sprinklers. Next year we may switch the whole thing over to micro-drip irrigation instead of overhead rotating sprayers. It would make more sense and use less water, but there were only so many changes I could make this year. I relocated a good number of lavender in drifts throughout the middle section and added a couple near the pink roses. Next year I plan on moving 2 more butterfly bushes from the backyard and putting them in between the Zebra grasses and pulling a couple of 'Autumn Joy' sedum from their current locations and adding those near the front right corner. Assuming that the one in the pot survives the winter in the pot....

And if there's any space left, I may toss in some bright green zinnias and move some Prairie Smoke plants over from the sidewalk garden. While I foresee a great deal of hand weeding in my future, there shouldn't be near as much physical labor involved in massive renovations. Bring on the spring!

I am so CLOSE...

to being almost done with re-working my front yard that I can almost conceive of tasting it.

Here's what it looked like on Oct. 2nd. You can clearly see that I've had my work cut out for me.

Tomorrow I'll take a picture of what it looks like now from the same angle. I couldn't possibly have done that before it got dark, could I?

I have a hawk in my yard. What do YOU have?

That's right.

A hawk.

I think it may be a juvenile Cooper's Hawk. What do you think?

He flew into the back yard and landed on a tree while I was making tea to go with my breakfast. I squealed and sent Eric to get the camera and the long lens. I showed him to the twins and kept hushing them so he/she/it (I respect its privacy.) wouldn't fly off before I had a chance to get a couple of shots of it.

Where did all the snacks go?

All of the little songbirds scattered when it showed up and stayed gone for a least an hour. I can just imagine the bird conversation afterward:

Bird 1: Are you goin' back to that feeder now, Bob?
Bird 2: I dunno. I think it's gone, but I'm just gonna wait a little longer to be safe.
Bird 1: Yeah. Good plan.
Bird 2: Yup.
Bird 1: [Unhappy pause] Yup.
Bird 2: [Stomach growls.]
Bird 1: [Hopefully] Do you think we could get Mikey to go check?

After a few moments, it noticed me taking its picture.

Herp?

Derp?

And then he was gone.


Maybe I should just start referring to my yard as the nature preserve? Hatchet's Nature Preserve.

Of course, that makes it sound like I'm making jam out of bunnies. Maybe I shouldn't go there....

Logan says...

I was outside gardening yesterday when Logan managed to sneak out the side gate and came to get me. He grabbed me around the legs and said, "Mommy!"

Me: Logan! [Hugs]
Logan: Mommy! [Leg hug, dimpled cheeks, secret grin.]
Me: Logan! [Hugs, goofy grin.]
Logan: Mommy! [Head-butting leg hug, dimpled cheeks, big grin.]
Me: Logan! [Melting in a pool of "awww", full body hug, hair ruffle.]

I think I may have to keep him.

Smell Like a Monster

The cutest video since...well, the original Old Spice video. I love Grover and you need something to smile at. You're welcome!



Also, this is a fantastic song, so you need to watch this, too. Crayola Doesn't Make a Color for your Eyes, by Kristin Andreassen. Awesome sauce!

More Critters in the Garden

Just the other week I was wondering why I hadn't seen any praying mantids around my yard. Apparently it wasn't time to see them yet. Now is the time to see the full adults.

How do I know? Because in the last two days I've seen two different types in my front yard! (Also, I think I squished a male a few weeks ago. It flew close to my head and freaked me out. In my defense, I was near the wasp nest, so I was primed to kill anything that came too close to me. I'm sorry little guy!)

Well, from the research I've done, it looks like they're both the European mantid, only one is green and the other brown.

Clicky to enlarge all the pics!

Tuesday's mantis was discovered while Eric was repairing the sprinklers. Yes, repairing the sprinkler line that I punched not one, not two, but four holes in with my pitchfork while ripping out plants in the front yard. This was just after we had the sprinkler guys by to fix the part that was too much for Eric, down in the junction box. We were checking to see if they worked properly and Whoops! There goes a geyser! The next morning, after Eric repaired the hole that I knew about, we turned the sprinklers on again, and Whoops! Another one!

Repeat 2x more. Eric was not amused. Sorry honey!

I discovered today's mantid on my Zebra grass. Funny thing about the giant grass in the front yard: I love the way it sounds when it sways in the wind, but it makes me jumpy. All sudden, jumping sounds make me think Mice instead of Grasshopper or Mantid.

When I looked closer, though, it was a mantid! Woo! Apparently all of the ones you see at this time of year are a) female and b) totally preggers. Those fat abdomens are just waiting to lay some eggs! On the bright side, now I know what all of that weird, tan, foam-insulation-type stuff is around the yard! It's the egg case for praying mantises!

Of course what I'd really like to see is one of them noshing on a grasshopper or three. I have quite a few of those, all over the backyard.


In the front yard, though, I have honey bees everywhere.


Happy little bees! I have to tell you, they really like the catmint that blooms throughout the season.

Speaking of bees, I just received a gift of locally produced honey from a neighbor as a thank you gift! As I mentioned previously, I'm in the process of ripping out plants and re-setting them, which means I have a whole lot of plants that I'm giving away in my front yard. The beekeepers dropped by to say thanks for the free plants recently (e.g. irises, strawberries, caryopteris, Keys of Heaven, and yarrow) and over the years. It was so nice, it made my whole day!

My work on the front yard has hardly begun, but I've had lots of positive reinforcement from the neighbors as they drive by. Getting the honey was just icing on the cake! I love working in the front yard for just that reason. Well, I'd better get back to work! I've got yards and yards of landscape fabric to rip up and plants to relocate.

How are things looking in your garden?

Emma says...

Scene: Hatchet and Emma are in the bathroom where Emma has just gone poop. Hatchet notices a ball of hair on the floor (probably from a hairbrush) and tosses it into the potty.

Emma flushes the potty and says, "You will never find your hair now, Mommy! Hah hah hah!"

My child just gave me an evil laugh and the Threatening Bad Guy Speech. This child is destined for wonderful things, isn't she?

Ha ha haaaa!

In the Garden

I don't really want it to be fall, yet I can't help but appreciate the cooler weather and the fact that it's time to get some serious gardening in without melting!

After months and months of work, I might actually be done (for the season) with the sidewalk garden bed. Fortunately, I finally remembered to take a before and after shot! Here it is in early June, covered with weeds and irises and weedy irises:


Here it is after all of the ripping, shredding, weeding, re-planting and mulching, today:


It doesn't look like much right now, does it? A little less weedy. A lot more mulchy.


I only kept the Beautyberry, Prairie Smoke, Phlox subulata, spiderwort and Basket of Gold alyssum. I brought around a whole bunch of plants that have been languishing in the shade in the back yard: agastache 'Apache Sunset', Chinese grasses, pink asters, peonies, 'Blue Hills' sage, tall garden phlox, Siberian catmint and columbines. I moved a few plants over from the xeric bed as well: a long suffering heather, a pair of Rocky Mountain penstemon that were growing among some rocks and a few winecups. The only new plants are those 3 little grasses I added on one end. I'll give that a whirl and see how it looks next year!

My xeric garden looked a lot nicer in June than it does in October.


So, of course, I'll have to start weeding, moving plants and adding new ones. I've already started here:

where the Shrub of Doom used to live. The yarrow seems to be trying to take over, so it's time it met up with The Pitchfork. I've put out signs offering all that I'm ripping out for free to the neighborhood, but anything that is left over in a day or so will be compost! Oh and while I was ripping away I found a shed snake skin. No snake came to visit, but I know it's out there some where! Maybe after I've finished messing around with all of the plants I'll see it again. I wonder if it eats voles?

The cherry tree garden looks a little bare after I weeded it and discovered vole holes:


And that they had gnawed off the bottom 6-8" of the cherry bark where it meets the soil. (Evil bastards! They will pay for this!) Also, next year, I'll be keeping a sharp look out for voles and other critters that want to take up residence in my garden beds. Hopefully I won't have the same wasp issue next year as I did this year. The columbines and bleeding hearts should fill in nicely next year, too.

The new stone steps now have two kinds of thyme happily growing in the cracks, attempting to keep the soil from washing away after every rainstorm. I can't help but like how finished they make the steps look and this is only after a couple of months! By next year I wonder if I'll have to start giving the thyme a trim? I sure hope not.


I even added some sempervivums just to see how they'd do. We'll find out next year how well they'll over winter! I hope to get more cobweb varieties in there, since they're so cute.


My containers are looking pretty good and the succulent plants were a big success this year. I totally got to forget about watering these pots for days or weeks at a time and they didn't die! That's a damned good container planting!


I couldn't help but notice that the Autumn Joy sedum is trying to take over the entire pot, so I'll probably move the three of them into the sidewalk garden. Then I'll replant the 3 pots with yet more sempervivums, since that way I'll have something to look at all winter on the front steps!




I missed out on the Botanical Garden's fall plant sale because of the twins' birthday party, but I've made up for it by getting a bunch of plants on sale at the local garden center. I even managed to talk them into cutting 20% off the sale price of a Double Delight tea rose that was looking kinda limp. It was in a 5 gallon pot, so I felt like I made out like a bandit! (It's the same rose that I had planted long ago and moved around 3 different times. This last time, I may have killed it, but in the off chance that I didn't, I planted the new rose nearby the old one. It even has a bud on it! I don't know why I'm excited about that, but there it is -- I am.) Once I watered it, it perked up immediately. I dug a lovely large hole for it and threw in a huge bucketful of compost. That sucker had better be happy next year!

I also picked up 2 weigela 'Minuet', 2 sempervivum, and 5 Salvia greggii 'Rose'.* (I'm not sure if 'Rose' is an actual variety name or just the color description.) The flowers are a lovely deep magenta/purple color and I think they'll look smashing backed up by some of my volunteer Agastache cana. I'll just have to dig them up from where they have spread themselves around the yard and in my pots.

Just in case you didn't know, fall is the best time of the year for installing new trees, shrubs and perennials. They have until the first hard frost to establish a good root system and will be a lot bigger next year in time for blooming season. Also, most garden centers are trying to get rid of their stock so that they don't have to over winter as much product, so now is a great time to save some money! Suddenly, that rose that I really wanted is a lot more appealing when it's 50% off. Plus another 20% because I asked so nicely! The magic words: "Is that price the best you can do?"

No, seriously, give that a try and see what happens.

It's amazing how messy it can look when you move plants around while re-vamping the garden, but by next season, everything will fill in and blend together. As usual, I'm looking forward to it!





* Eric tried to suggest that I might have a....problem as I was shelling out money for yet more plants. Personally, I think I can stop any time I want.

Yup.

Any day now, I'll stop gardening when I feel like it.

Any day now...

You know, like once it starts snowing.

The Twins Turned Three!

Can you believe it?! We survived another year of parenting! More to the point: they survived another year of parenting!

Now I don't know about you, but I have a hard time coming up with themes for birthdays. To me, the theme of "Party" is good enough. Instead, I just make the food, send the invites and we all pile into my house and yard and hang out. After, of course, hours and hours of house cleaning, baking, multiple shopping trips, fretting, failed cupcakes, more shopping and more baking. Oh and woodworking. Don't forget the woodworking and the mulch.

A few weeks back I decided it was time to ditch the square foot garden and trade it out for a 6' x 6' sandbox. Reusing the same frame and same location would be key to our sandbox success. First, though, we had to rip out and/or relocate all of the plants, remove all of the soil, then rebuild the frame and fill it with play sand. Oh and don't forget the 5 cu yards of mulch that was piled on top of the now emptied frame until I could throw it around the garden, one week before The Party. So there I was at dusk on Friday throwing the final forkfuls of mulch into a wheelbarrow and unloading it around the front yard when my mom said to me, "You don't do anything by halves, do you?"

I stopped, sweating and covered in dirt, dust and mulch, looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Nope." Then I continued moving mulch until it was all gone, and cleaned the yard until it was full dark, because nothing is a motivating as a birthday party.

Saturday, Eric and his dad put the frame back together and attached landscape fabric to the bottom and began dumping bag after bag of sand into it. Saturday night, the kids got a chance for a pre-party sandbox test. They instantly loved it.

Sunday, all of the kids loved it.

Seven kids, one sandbox, and no fighting. Genius!

I keep trying to keep the birthday parties small, but they keep getting away from me. Considering that the kids are just 3 and don't have any friends of their own from preschool or anything to invite, I still managed to have 26 people attend, only 7 of which were children. This birthday we had all 3 sets of grandparents, one uncle, one aunt and a passel of cousins.

Grammy and Grampy.

Grampy and Logan. Clearly, this is the best seat in the house.

Grammy, Caitlin and Aunt Jenni

Pop-Pop and Nana-Sue.

Nana-Sue got renamed to Banana-Sue by Emma. She looks OK with it.

Now that's a good lookin' bunch of babies right there!

And Grandma and Grandpa.

Just so you know, there was only one other picture of my mom and it was way worse than this one. Note that the fact that she complained while I was taking it was probably part of the problem. Next time I walk up to you with a camera, strike a pose or be prepared for the consequences! MOM!

There were cupcakes, by the dozens.

And friends to frost those cupcakes. And take pictures, change diapers, bring snacks, balloons and bags of sand.

And yet more friends to eat those cupcakes.

Why yes, I DID make coconut cupcakes and Ultimate Chocolate Cupcakes with Ganache Filling. Thanks for noticing!

But first there was the singing,

Logan is loving the singing. Emma...not so much!

and the blowing out of candles,

and the eating.

Then the present opening.

I love Emma's reaction face!

There were sand toys a-plenty!

There was one drama, though. Only one big dump truck.

"I can't believe I have to share!"

Emma fairly mowed Logan down to get this truck to the sandbox first, leaving Logan screaming and crying and left me sheepishly opening the rest of the presents.

Must be my party, now! Woo! Sheets! Total score!

He calmed down pretty quick once we opened a huge box of cars. Then he started filling his hands and pockets like squirrels do with nuts and scampered off, happily.

There was talk and laughter and general hanging about.

Look! Uncle Ian! We lured him in with promises of jam and chocolate.

Logan even got to play with the new truck...eventually!

Note the iterative dump truck action and the fist full of cars. You think I joke about the magpie thing, don't you?

"Who? Me? Pushy? No way! I'm too cute to be bossy!"

There was even time for me to be in the photographs, which only happened when I kept thrusting my camera into someone else's hands. Thanks Scott! Thanks Eric! That's right. I can delegate!

Parents of twins. Can't you just see the hearing loss?

And even though everyone thinks I'm insane* for going crazy making cupcakes and buttercream frosting from scratch and building sandboxes and gardening like a fiend (Misty said she was glad she wasn't the only one!), everyone went away happy with full hearts, hands and bellies. And my yard looked pretty good, too.

Happy birthday little monkeys! Mommy loves you.

Yes, that chin gene IS dominant. How did you know? Also note the dimples. Eeee!

And is very tired now. Good thing your birthday only comes once a year!





* It's not like they're wrong** or anything.

** Did I mention that as soon as the party was over I had a cool idea for painting the sandbox cover with chalkboard paint and turning it into a giant outdoor drawing pad? Yeah. I'mma work on that one...tomorrow!

Work, work, work!

I've been a bit busy, this last week.

The day after I wrote this I received 5 cubic yards of mulch. Then the heavy lifting began. Eric started moving it all to the backyard. while I threw about .5 cu yd around the sidewalk garden. You've never seen speed weeding like a motivated Hatchet with a load of mulch headed her way! After the remainder made it into two HUGE piles in the backyard, it was time for me to throw it around the border garden in back.

You know, the garden I spent all summer ripping plants out of in order to install my new shrubs? Yeah. This is a desperate attempt to not have to weed so bloody often next year. After all, that's part of mulch's job: keepin' the weeds down! That plus water retention. I also badgered Eric into installing that new sprinkler line to keep my plants in the corner happy per The List. I haven't done 6, 12, 13,19 and 22 yet, but the year isn't over yet!

To add to the chaos, I ripped out Caitlin's square foot garden since she wasn't weeding it and I have plenty of garden to weed, without adding hers to the list. Instead we're going to turn it into a giant sandbox just in time for the twins' birthday party! This was also motivated by the fact that Caitlin and the twins are like puppies: apparently they all really need to dig! Now that I've moved the final wheelbarrow of mulch, Eric will smooth the spot out, build the frame and start unbagging bag after bag after bag of play sand.

I've also been making yet more jam, as part of the goodie bag for the kids at the party and I've started cleaning. There's an awful lot of cleaning that needs to take place since I regularly avoid it in order to weed, plant or jam.

I know, I'm bad. I'd rather spend hours making and cleaning up after my jamming mess than have to mop the floors. They're just gonna get wrecked again the moment the twins wake up, so what's the point? Besides, I'm convinced a little (OK, a lot!) of dirt is what keeps them all so healthy! Or maybe it's just the good food?

Anyway...my folks just flew into town and that is bringing up all kinds of other issues, that I'll have to talk about later. You might want to bring tissues.

At some point I'll actually take pictures of the garden and you can see what all of the hoopla has been about. It doesn't look like much now, but just you wait! In a few short years -- POW! There should be massive flowering shrub action!

I hope.

Body Issues at 9? She's Too Young for This!

Getting Caitlin ready for school on a daily basis is one of the most frustrating aspects of our morning routine. As soon as the thump-thump-thumping starts up from the twins' room, we roll out of bed, already somewhat out of sorts. Logan, you see, lays on his back in front of the door and kicks it to let you know that he's awake, dammit! Come and get him!

So that's fun.

Then, somehow, the thumping that wakes me up from down the hall has no impact on Caitlin, who is right next door to the twins. Or the cats miaowing to be fed. Or the alarm going off by her face.

First thing's first: I open Logan's door and he either immediately impresses upon me his dire need of food ("Hungreeeee! Food! Beckfast! Food! Food! Food!" Repeat until your brains drizzle out of your ears.) or he goes all cute on me and reminds me why I keep him alive on a daily basis (Holds his blanket up to his face, leaving only his eyes visible and gives me the Prince Charming smile and then snuggles into my lap after I've melted into the floor from the power of his smile.). Once the beasts are freed, I then have to go and boot Caitlin into action.

Normal idealized routine:

1. Caitlin wakes up.
2. Gets out of bed.
3. Brushes her teeth and hair.
4. Gets dressed in Parent Approved clothing (e.g. appropriate for current weather conditions, cleanliness and eyestrain).
5. Feeds the cats.
6. Makes her lunch, with assistance where required (e.g. slicing bread).
7. Gathers up her class materials, finished homework and lunch and gets in the car.

Normal actual routine:

1. Eric or I ask Caitlin to wake up.
2. A parent returns, somewhat grumpily, in 5-10 minutes to get her out of bed.
3. After yet another round of Get Up, Caitlin!, Caitlin finally gets out of bed. Attitude turned On and set to Petulant.
4. Caitlin goes to feed the cats. Or maybe the twins have fed them with me, when Caitlin didn't appear within a few minutes of being told to wake up. Caitlin may decide to play with the cats or the twins, pet the cats or read a book.
5. Grumpy parent grumps at Caitlin to work on items 3, 4, 6 and 7 from the list above.
6. Caitlin gets dressed. Sets off Inappropriate Clothing Warning. Those capris have already been worn this week! Argument ensues.
7. Lunch is made with some level of grumpy parental involvement. Parent is also making breakfast for twins who are yelling 'encouragement': "Syrup! Syrup! Syrup! Syrup! I want syrup! Syrup! Syrup! Can I have Syrup? Hungreee!"
8. Remind Caitlin to brush her teeth. Receive attitude because asking such a thing Represses Her. Who needs good dental hygiene anyway?!
9. Ask Caitlin to brush hair. Also, have you brushed your teeth yet?! You're running out of time!
10. Throw breakfast together and hand it to her to eat while on the drive to school.

Last week, during the argument as part of step 6 from the Actual routine above, Caitlin hollered that she didn't have any pants to wear. When I checked her dresser, however, I found plenty of shorts that had been worn all summer. Suddenly Caitlin was throwing a fit because she cannot possibly wear shorts.

Mom-tuition flared up and I went into Detective Mom Mode.

Me: Why can't you wear shorts?
C: [After much wailing and attempts at dodging the question] Because my thighs jiggle in gym class when I kneel down!
Me: That's normal. You have muscles and tendons and a thin layer of fat under your skin that keeps you from dying. You are not fat. Did someone say something to you?
C: [Attempts to dodge question]
Me: YOU. ARE. NOT. FAT. Anyone that says so is INSANE. What's going on?!
C: [Crying] Bleeaaaaaargh!

It turns out that some boy at school has determined that Caitlin is neither girlish enough for him (Your hair is too short! Only boys have short hair!) or boyish enough (Your clothes are ugly! Red and blue don't go together! [Say what, white boy?!]) for him. She'd been trying to make him her friend and he was ripping her to shreds on a daily basis. She no longer wanted to wear any dresses or any shorts that showed her thighs all because of some jerk that has no clue about anything. Caitlin hasn't yet learned that not only can you not be friends with everyone, but that not everyone is worth being friends with!

So there we were, sitting on the floor of her bedroom, with our normal routine shot all to hell and it doesn't really matter, all because some brat is messing with my kid's body image. At the end of the hullabaloo, Caitlin was dressed in shorts and ready to go. However, I'm pretty certain that we haven't heard the end of the body issues. Ugh!

Nine is way too soon for body issues.

Isn't it?

The Jam Lineup

They're so pretty, I needed to photograph them in the sunshine.

Top row: Australian spiced fig jam (for fig cookies!), freezer minted raspberry peach jam, and peach raspberry jam.
Bottom row: the first peach jam of the season (made in the crockpot and not very firm, but delicious!), the second peach jam (with Ball pectin and a boatload of sugar), mango raspberry jam, spiced peach jam, cherry, peach jam (with Pomona pectin and a LOT less sugar!), peach cranberry conserve (with Amaretto!), and mango jam.

This is what I've been working on for the past couple of weeks. Part of the insanity is that I'm planning on giving a jar away to each couple that attend the twins' 3rd birthday party, instead of grab bags of junk. I'll also make some peppermint bark for the kids that are coming (Because just how many little kids would appreciate jam for a gift bag?) to the party and I also have to make enough to send some home with my mom for my sisters.

That meant a lot of jamming sessions.

The fig jam is really an experiment (they all are, really) to see if I can make a yummy fig cookie of my own and the freezer jam seemed like a good idea at the time but is too sweet for me. The mango jam is my secret stash and I'm only likely to share it with one person: my mom. Unless I make another batch, that is!

The cool thing is that I ran across a different kind of pectin at the natural food store and found that I can use a lot less sugar using it than the regular Ball kind of pectin. This thrilled me to no end because the concept of 5 1/2 or 7 cups of sugar to 4 or 5 cups of fruit makes my teeth ache. On the bright side, I learn new things with every batch I make (Like the fact that I need a longer spoon to avoid getting splashed with molten hot jam!) and I have yummy presents for the folks I love.

I only stopped when I ran out of glass jars. The people I love are not so good with returning the of the glass jars. (This is a hint, y'all!) I'm sure with a little prodding, they'll remember! Also, the threat of no more jam might just do it! (HINT!)

Anyone have a favorite recipe I should try? I'm dying for some rhubarb, but it's currently out of season and I don't have any rhubarb plants of my own! Next year, however...!

We be jammin'!

In case you were wondering why I've been MIA this week. I blame the peaches.

That's right: peaches.

Peaches from Morton's Orchards. I love their peaches. Love 'em!

And mangoes, raspberries, cranberries and other fruit.

I'm on a canning bender.

Partly it's because after eating several pounds of peaches fresh, you've just gotta do something else with them. Partly it's because my mom is coming out for the twins 3rd birthday party and I'd better, by gosh-gum-golly, have something nummy for her to take back to NY for Dawn and Canada for Cindy. Thus, I've determined that I must can like a mad woman to be "ready" in 3 more weeks. Ready to part with 3 or 4 or 5 different versions of peach jam and mango-raspberry jam and cherry jelly and so on and so forth. Also, my nephews love me more every time I give them fresh peach jam, so I must enslave lure them to me with new offerings.

I don't have pictures of all of the ones I've done so far, but here's a quick look at me canning mango-raspberry jam.

I love mangoes. Have I ever told you? I mean, I really love mangoes. If there's a dessert on the menu at a restaurant that has mangoes in it, changes are extremely good that I'm going to order it. Dicing mangoes can be a lot of fun, too. First, you slide your knife down on either side of the flat pit and lop off the pieces on either side. Then you slice through the flesh, but not the skin.

Once you've cut it horizontally, turn it 90 degrees and slice it again. Then invert the mango. Suddenly you have a mango porcupine! So cute! Now you just slice off the individual pieces and you're done. Repeat x4 to get 4 cups of diced mangoes.

You'll also want 1 1/2 cups raspberries. Fresh or frozen. I went with frozen, since I was able to get 40 ounces frozen for the same price as 24 oz fresh. Defrost, then mash and measure. Throw them in the pot with the mangoes, lemon juice and pectin and stir.
Keep stirring.

Are you tired of stirring yet? You're probably not done yet. Keep stirring.

Meanwhile, you should have had your lids and jars hot and ready. You did remember those, right?

Right.

You'd better still be stirring that pot!

I learned something new this year: in order to form a gel, the boiling jam needs to read 8 degrees (Fahrenheit) above the boiling point of water at your elevation. That's key. This whole imprecise blather about a "full rolling boil" doesn't mean a thing to me. I like scientific, repeatable measurements. Also, at our elevation, the boiling point is 204 F, instead of 212F, which means I actually need to get the jam to 212F and keep it there for the 1 minute the recipes always require. Thus the need for a good thermometer. Suddenly, I now know exactly what the gelling point is and what "sheeting" looks like on a cold metal spoon!

It was a jamming revelation.

At that point, you can finally stop stirring since it's time to take the jam off the heat and start pouring it into hot jars. On go the 2 piece tops and into the canner!


Now it has to process for 20 minutes (At my elevation, we add 10 more minutes to the standard processing time. The things you learn!) at a full rolling boil in the canner.

Et voilà! Jam!


It is a beautiful and tasty one, too.

Yup. Jam.

And yes, I really did mean for you to hear this song while you read the post.


What have you been up to this week?