Peppermint Bark

Do you know about Peppermint Bark? Decades of my life had gone by before I was introduced to it by my friend Christine. When she mentioned it to me I was dubious: candy canes and chocolate? I'm not that fond of candy canes, but I gave it a try anyway. Yum! I can't remember now where hers came from, but it was good. I put it out of my mind until I saw a bag of Ghirardelli's peppermint bark two weeks ago and I thought I'd give it a try.

It was pretty good, but not as good as the bark I remembered. Looking at it closely, I figured that it had to be easy to make, except for the tempering of the chocolate part. As part of my pastry class we spent a day on chocolate. Let me tell you: you really can have too much of a good thing. By the end of that day I wanted to have nothing to do with chocolate for months afterwards. Tempering chocolate, for those of you that have never done it, is a pain in the...wrist. If you're doing it manually, at any rate. You melt your chocolate, and then cool it down to the temperature specific to that type of chocolate (dark, milk, white) and only within a degree of that sweet spot and then you put it into forms and then cool it in your giant walk in freezer. Oh, that was just at the school. Once you've done that, it acts just like the chocolate you get at the store: holds the shape you've put it into and doesn't immediately melt in your hand.

Doing this at home isn't impossible, it's just time intensive. Something I don't have anymore.

However, I decided that surely I could make Peppermint Bark, even if I wasn't going to temper it. Thus decided, I poked around looking for a recipe. I started here and then went there. In the end, it's ridiculously easy. This afternoon I made some with Caitlin as a special treat and as something easy we could do together that wouldn't be too time intensive, since the twins were very needy. As it turned out, this should have taken us 15 minutes, but became 2 hours with all of the interruptions to nurse.

Peppermint Bark

1 lb good quality semi-sweet or dark chocolate (I used Caro 62%)
1 lb good quality white chocolate (I used Callebaut)
1/4 lb peppermint candies or so (I just used however many I had, might have been 25-30 of them)
Wax paper, buttered

1. Smash your peppermint candies/candy canes and set aside.
2. Melt the dark chocolate in your microwave, being careful to not scorch it. I put mine in for a minute, stirring at 30 seconds. You could use a double boiler but ehn! who wants to wash all of those pans? (At this point, I could have added a couple of drops of peppermint oil if I'd thought about it, but I didn't. If you do, let me know how that goes.)
3. Spread the dark chocolate out on your waxed paper. You can use a cookie sheet or jelly roll pan - anything flat will do. I used a half sheet, but didn't spread the chocolate to the edges since that would have been too thin. Spread to your desired thickness/thinness.
   
4. Refrigerate or freeze until solid.
5. Melt the white chocolate, again being careful not to scorch it. (Once again, you could add a couple of drops of peppermint oil here.)
6. At this point, either stir your smashed peppermints into the white chocolate or spread a layer of white chocolate over the dark chocolate and then add the peppermint candy.
   The former will probably ensure you lose less peppermint but makes it harder to spread. The latter means you will lose some of the peppermint, but is easier to spread sans candy pieces. If choosing the latter option, press lightly down on the candy to embed it into the melted chocolate.
7. Refrigerate or freeze until solid.
8. When solid, remove from freezer, break or cut into pieces and enjoy!
   
9. Finally, be certain to hide the pieces away or you'll have to share with the rest of the family.

You want to see, dontcha? Sure ya do!

First you get your helper to unwrap all of the peppermints, after she's washed her hands.

Then she smashes them flat. You can help! Very good for getting our your aggression.

You want flakes or tiny bite sized pieces.

Stop to admire your daughters.

Tickle this one under the chin. Promise her that one day she'll get to make some, too.

Shredded chocolate melts faster. The Caro chocolate started off in gum drop shape so we ran it through the Cuisinart and turned it into shavings. I "only" had 3/4 of a pound, but I figured that was a fine amount to start with. The main idea is to have equal amounts of chocolate and enough peppermint candy to cover the top.

Mmmm! Looks like pudding.

The help is excited about helping and had to taste test both chocolates before we started. She approved.

White chocolate pistoles. I normally don't like white chocolate, but paired with dark chocolate in this way it's quite nice.

Melted, it looks like vanilla pudding.Light and dark meet.

Caitlin spreads out the crushed candy.

Detail. Bet you're glad her hands are clean, aren't ya?

Almost done!

The finished product looks downright Christmas-y. While this will melt in your hands, who cares?

Caitlin bravely tries the first piece.

After noticing that she didn't suffer any ill effects (except for Crazy Chocolate Face), Eric tries a piece and approves.
Emma (wearing a new outfit) says, "No pictures! And stop staring at my bald spot!"

Now that I know how easy it is, I'm going to add it to my list of items to make as Xmas presents. Every year I go on a baking frenzy and give food in lieu of purchased gifts. No one seems to mind too terribly much! As a matter of fact, I think they rather like it - it's never the wrong size or color and no one ever has too many shortbread cookies or chocolate crinkle cookies. Each year I try out a couple new recipes and add them to the approved list and this recipe just made that list.

What are you making for Xmas and do you give out food as gifts?

A high need day

The twins refuse* to be put down today without screaming.

I mean, I can put them down if I'd like to be serenaded with screams that express the utter devastation and pain I am inflicting on two such young and tender souls. You know. Just that.

Days like this should just come with a warning label that says: Don't Make Any Plans.




* Note that this is in the present tense because the day ain't over yet!

Oh and say hello to post #500. Hah! Just call me Chatty Cathy!

Newsflash!

I don't need sweaters. I have twins.

Warm, toasty, snuggly twins.

Marimo

Guaranteed to make you cry. A short film about a girl and her dog and a dog and her girl.


Hat tip to Dooce.

Caitlin Sings

In addition to it being Eric's birthday on Friday, it was also the date for Caitlin's holiday sing at her school. As I've mentioned before, that child looooooves to sing. Loves it. So why is it that when she's in the room singing for the parents that she goes all shy?

Le sigh!

This year she did better than last year - I could hear her voice this time. As soon as she noticed me in the crowd of parents (with large, glaringly obvious camera in tow) she perked right up.
Here they are singing a song, in Spanish, about making hot chocolate - it's called Chocolate. The sticks are stirring the chocolate slow, slow, slow and then fast, fast, fast. That part also involved a little involuntary percussion on the part of the kids that dropped their sticks.
Here they are clearly about to pummel the kid in front of them with their little wooden sticks. Oh wait. No, that's the song about Pinatas! Dale! Dale! Dale! (Imagine that I have accents figured out...)
It was at this point I had to stop taking pictures and sidle over to where Eric was attempting to videotape and hold a squirmy Logan at the same time. Logan insisted that he'd never been fed at all that day, so I had to leave and go nurse. I could hear them singing from the hallway and it sounded great. At the very end of the performance, they did a little dance and invited a single family member per child to go out and dance with them. Eric went out with Emma.

No photos of it, as sweet as it was, because I was holding Logan. Instead, you'll just have to imagine it and say "Awww!"

Caitlin was thrilled that we all came and listened and that she got to dance with Emma and Eric.

A good day was had by all.

Devil's Food Cake Recipe

Ask and ye shall receive!

First a little background:

I took a week long pastry course several years ago as a present to myself, since I really like to bake. This recipe is from that course, in the section on cakes, as is the buttercream icing. I learned a lot that week and bought a lot of gear from the local restaurant supply house. If there's one thing I've got, it's kitchen gear. Other women collect shoes, I collect baking gear.

My strong suggestion before you bake this is that you have a heavy duty mixer (i.e. KitchenAid - I love mine!) because you're going to run it for several minutes with this recipe. Second, get good, straight sided 8" circular pans with 2" sides. I used my old pans purchased from the grocery store with sloped sides and not quite enough depth for the amount of batter this recipe makes and one kind of overflowed and semi-collapsed on itself. Shh! Don't tell Eric! Third, quality ingredients mean a quality product so use real butter, real vanilla and good chocolate. For the amount of time you spend baking, the product should be worth the time invested.

Devil's Food Cake
Yield: 2 8" cakes
Recipe adapted for CO elevation from Cook's Illustrated March & April 2000

Ingredients:

4 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped (use the good stuff)
1/4 cup Dutch processed cocoa
1 1/4 cup boiling water (intensifies chocolate flavor)
3/4 cup (3.75 oz) all purpose flour
3/4 cup (3 oz) cake flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
8 oz unsalted butter, softened (2 sticks)
1 1/2 cup (10.5 oz) packed dark brown sugar
3 large eggs, room temperature
1/2 cup sour cream, room temperature and stirred smooth
1 tsp vanilla extract (real, not imitation)

Method:

1. Adjust oven racks to upper and lower middle positions. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Butter 2 8" round pans with butter and line bottom of pans with parchment paper rounds, then butter parchment and dust pans with cocoa.
3. Combine chocolate and cocoa in medium bowl, pour boiling water over and whisk until smooth. (Note: do this step early so the chocolate has time to cool down before you add it.)
4. Sift together flours, baking soda and salt onto sheet of waxed or parchment paper. (Or another bowl, I'm not picky!) Set aside.
5. Place butter and brown sugar in bowl of a standing mixer and beat on medium-high until light and fluffy, about 3 (to 5) minutes. Scrape down bowl with rubber spatula.
6. On med-high, begin to add eggs one at a time, beating 30 seconds after each addition.
7. Reduce speed to medium. Add sour cream and vanilla and beat until combined, about 10 seconds. Stop mixer and scrape down bowl.
8. With mixer on low, add about 1/3 flour mixture, followed by 1/2 chocolate mixture. Repeat, ending with flour mixture. Beat until just combined, about 15 seconds. Do not overbeat. (Overbeating results in the production of gluten which makes your cake chewy instead of tender. Not what you're after.)
9. Remove bowl from mixer, scrape bottom and sides with rubber spatula and mix gently to thoroughly combine.
10. Divide batter evenly among cake pans (Note: you could even use 3 8" pans if you wanted skinny layers.), smooth batter to edges of pan with spatula.
11. Bake 30-35 minutes. (Note: At 15 minutes, I rotate my pans and swap positions if they're both on the same rack. Obviously it will take even less time if you're using 3 pans.) Invert cakes onto cooling racks. Cool completely before icing.

Classic Buttercream

Yield: 6 cups

Ingredients:

1 3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
3 egg yolks
2 whole eggs
1 lb unsalted butter, softened
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract or other flavoring to taste

Method:

1. Place water and sugar in small saucepan and stir to combine over medium heat until sugar dissolves.
2. Cover pan and bring to a boil and continue to cook the sugar to 240 degrees. (Yes, you need a candy thermometer.)
3. Place yolks and whole eggs in mixer bowl and whip on medium speed with the whip attachment until light and fluffy. (Note: this step takes place at same time as #2 because it takes several minutes to cook the sugar solution and several minutes to whip the yolks. You're going for a light lemon-y yellow color, and kinda creamy in texture. The eggs gain a lot of volume in this step.)
4. With the mixer running on medium (KitchenAid: 4), gradually pour the sugar syrup into the egg mixture being careful not to pour it directly on the whip attachment.
5. Let the mixer run on medium speed until the egg mixture has cooled and become smooth. This will take several minutes. Test by turning the mixture off and inserting a finger into the mix. (Note: you're looking for cool enough to the touch, not cool or truly cold. You don't want to melt the butter in the next step either, just incorporate it.)
6. Add the butter one tablespoon at a time, allowing each addition to be absorbed before adding the next. When all the butter has been added, continue to mix until the buttercream is smooth.
7. Add the vanilla or other flavoring. If the buttercream appears curdled, add more butter, one tbsp at a time until the mixture has a smooth consistency. Increasing the speed of the mixer briefly may also help bring the buttercream together.
8. Use immediately or store refrigerated until ready to use. Bring to room temperature before mixing briefly to restore consistency.

The Party That Almost Wasn't

Otherwise known as: More Cake for Us!

Do you have any idea of just how long it takes to make a cake, from scratch, while nursing twins?

All bloody day, that's how long!

I started somewhere around 10 am and finished just past 6 pm. It has been a marathon cake making session, but I did it!

Remember that blizzard we weren't getting here? Well we've gotten it and how! We received several phone calls from friends letting us know that they weren't coming because it's too crazy to drive out there. So the only people that are out driving are those that are crazier than the weather. This explains why Herb, Scott and Sierra were the only ones to make it to our house tonight! To make the trip worth it, they were feted with cake and gelato and forced to watch my homage to 40 Years of Eric.

For those of you that weren't able to make it due to distance or disastrous weather, here it is in pictures.

A small sampling of pictures from the presentation (Thanks for the photos, Linda!):

Eric was destined to become a Phone Phreak from a very young age.

You can see both Logan and Emma in his face here.

So cute! I think those overalls are back in style now, too.

Back to the present!

The cake.

This is a Devil's Food cake with vanilla buttercream icing. There are 8 ounces of chocolate (4 oz Dutch processed Callebaut and 4 oz unsweetened Ghirardelli) in the cake and one pound of butter in the buttercream. I ruined the first attempt at the sugar syrup when I brought it past 240 degrees and then tried to cool it down since the eggs weren't whipped yet. Whoops! It crystallized and looked just like the snow outside only hotter. Fortunately my second attempt worked just fine.

Caitlin assists.

Wouldn't you know it? I couldn't find a single plain candle in the entire house, so I settled for the #1 candle and left it at that. Caitlin leapt in to help Eric blow it out because, clearly the geezer needs help.

Making a wish. Retroactively wishing for a Porsche?

Cutting the cake.

A little slice.

Waiting for me to sit down already!

Rare Hatchet photo. Scott insisted.

The cake was yummy, everyone enjoyed it. After a bit of jovial conversation everyone not living on the premises hit the snowy roads and we retired to the basement and attempted to knock the twins out.

Eric and Emma.

I was noticing that I have few images of Eric and Emma. He holds her, too, not just Logan! I'm just usually nursing Logan while this is going on which makes it a little difficult to photograph them. Between that and the fact that Logan sleeps less than Emma ensures there will be more photos of him floating around. Maybe he's just a ham for the camera?

Logan.

Ayup, he's a ham. Takes after his dad.

Updated to add: Having heard that it's not a party until someone throws up, Logan obliged.

52 inches in 48 hours

No, it's not some miraculous dieting product that you can find on late night television. Instead, it is the amount of snow that dropped on my MIL, keeping her away from her only son on his 40th birthday.

Trooper that she is, she tried to come anyway, but turned back when things looked really ugly.

To help you visualize it:

Snowed in. Photo by Grammy.

Another way of looking at it is this: you could drop Caitlin into the snowbank and if she sank to the bottom, there'd be 7 inches from the top of her head to the top of the snowbank.

That's deep!

We're sorry they're not here, but we're glad everyone's safe at home.

Happy 40th Birthday Eric!

The day started with a blizzard.

Not the kind of blizzard you could see or shovel, either. Instead it was the kind of blizzard that happens far away from you and yet has terrible consequences in your immediate future. This blizzard closed down Monarch Pass which meant Grammy wasn't comin' down the mountain to watch the twins and Caitlin. That meant there would be no fancy-pants dinner for our heroes. It also meant that when the phone rang early in the morning and Kansas was on the line, that the disappointments were going to rack up today.

So there we were: Linda wasn't coming so dinner out was over unless we could find a replacement and Ed & Val aren't coming to visit this weekend due to worsening weather conditions between Colorado and Kansas. Sadness fell over the household like an ugly grey woolen blanket - sopping wet and smelly with disappointment. Eric was ready to call and cancel our reservation, but I made him hold off, just in case I could work a miracle. Eric ran off to run his Very Important errands while I worked on the Birthday Miracle.

It came in the form of Nana-Sue and Pop-Pop. They stepped into the Grammy-shaped hole in our lives and filled it: watching the twins and Caitlin for our very first Night Out. Because, really, how often does one turn 40? Thirty-nine may come around a few times before we get the hang of it, but 40? Only once. So on this Day of Infamy we applaud Sue & Herb for making our dream of dinner out a reality.

After Eric completed his errands, we got ready to go.

What errands? Oh...just a few related to his birthday purchase. He got one of these:
Not enough detail for you? Try this:
He got a what?!
He got a used, 2003, Porsche Boxster.

Why not something more...practical? Well, if you were given the choice between a new 4 door Honda Accord or a Porsche for the same exact price what would you choose?

Yeah, I thought so!

Besides, we have my Accord, which fits all 5 of us (luckily enough) and his car has always been the fun, impractical one anyway. We couldn't fit all of us in his Integra either (which has reached the point where repairing it will cost more than it's worth), so this change made no difference. Also, he's been lusting over these cars since before Caitlin was born and couldn't get up the guts to buy one. When he saw this one...it was time.

Call it his mid-life crisis car, if you like.

We got ready to go. I nursed Logan before getting dressed - just in case - while Emma was sleeping. I thought if she was heavily asleep we might be able to sneak out without nursing her again. No luck. I pulled a towel across my lap and draped her with a Vomit Deflection Device (aka a receiving blanket) and warned her that she wasn't to throw up on me or at least give me plenty of warning. Well...she gave me warning, but it turns out that our ideas of "plenty" don't match.

Bleurgh!

The one nice outfit I can fit into was a mess. I stripped down and Eric attempted to clean the skirt and shirt up while I finished nursing the Vomiting Varmint. I sat there, in my skivvies and sexy boots, looking like something out of the MILF edition of some lad mag and thought dark thoughts about my luck and my daughter.

I came up with an alternate outfit, after rejecting several others that just don't fit right now. I went from cute to corporate as I pulled out one of my suits from my days of working for The Man. Moving fast, we hightailed it outta there and not in the shiny new car, either. It was snowing and Pretty New Car only has summer tires. Bummer!

Dinner at L'Atelier made up for all of it.

We had the 8 course tasting menu and loved every bite.

1. Smoked salmon with capers and a large, rectangular potato chip thingy.
2. Mike's well fleet clams in chowder. A clam chowder to make your taste buds weep!
3. Lobster in potato foam. Potatoes never tasted so gooooood!
4. Bibb lettuce, red beets and goat cheese. Ehn. Nothing to write home about, although I liked the goat cheese.
5. Sorbet to cleanse our pallets. I liked Eric's orange sorbet best.
   
6. Filet mignon don Eduardo. OMG! YUMMM!
7. L'Atelier dessert. A pair of tiny profiteroles in creme fraiche with a raspberry couli. Nice.
8. Cheese course of goat cheese and a semi-hard French cheese with a slice of crunchy bread. Yum.

They disappointed me with their tea selection and the fact that they had neither chai nor hot chocolate. Whatever is a girl to do? Ah well, you can't excel at everything!

We talked and talked and talked and never once did we have to cut up someone else's food, nurse anyone, change a diaper or remind someone for the umpteenth time to Use your napkin! It's right there in front of you! Arghhhh! We did talk about the kids, of course, and how lucky we are and have been and how it seems like we've both been improving with age. He gets better every year and he can still make me laugh, even when I don't want to. This whole twin thing has pushed him really hard and parenting Caitlin has gotten tougher, but he's hanging in there and doing a fabulous job.

Eric & Logan.Caitlin's ready to go.

He's taken great care of me this last year while I was more pregnant than a woman should ever be and I've appreciated it more than I can say.

I think I'll keep him.

Especially if he lets me drive his new car.

Ten Weeks

Ten weeks have passed by and day by day Emma and Logan become more of who they are and a wee bit more of who they will be.

The big excitement this week was working on bottle feeding. I think we can claim success, since Eric got both to drink from a bottle before the day was over, if grudgingly. He started with Emma first and she gave him hell until he remembered some of the tricks he had applied to Caitlin so long ago. For example, he had to remember that a baby all worked up and screaming like they're being murdered is really not interested in your damned bottle of whatever the hell that is, where's my mom?!

After much screaming, much soothing and sneaking up on her with a bottle of expressed breast milk right after she'd woken up from naps, Emma finally gave in and finished the bottle. We claimed that as a win and I took her back into my arms to nurse. You've never seen a happier or more grateful Emma. She kept looking up at me with an almost tearful, wistful smile. Is this all for me? No more plastic-thingy and cold milk? Oh thank you! Thank you so much! Slurp, slurp, slurp! She didn't even throw up on me, she was so thankful!

Emma expressing Milk Fear.
Fear that Daddy will take Mommy and the Pillowy Breasts away and force her to drink from that plastic thing again.

After getting Emma done, Logan was a breeze. Eric skipped a lot of the screaming steps and went right to getting it done. Not that there was no screaming involved. There was, it just wasn't as traumatized and didn't last as long since Eric was in the groove. Logan, however, didn't really buy in to the whole thing until we reheated his milk to the proper temperature.

Down the hatch!

Little chubby hands!

Emma smiling and flaunting her edible cheeks.

Logan checks out the toys hanging on the playmat.

They get a little bigger every day. Smile a little more. They're a little more enjoyable each day.

Sleep is still broken up into 3 hour chunks at night, though. Emma sleeps like a champ: she does 4 and 5 hour stretches regularly. The problem is Logan. It wouldn't matter if Emma slept for 8 hours together if Logan doesn't do the same thing. Argh! Another downside to twinnage: you might as well not even have the good sleeper. Although it is more like having serial singletons, since I don't wake her up to feed at the same time Logan wakes up.

Trying to put Logan down on any flat surface during the day, or into a car seat has been tough. He just really likes to nap on my chest and I really want to let him sleep, except that I really have things I need to get done that don't involve having a tiny remora attached to my chest.

Emma has learned to somewhat like being on her tummy, now that she has much better head control. Now that she can actually lift her enormous melon off the floor, she doesn't spend the entire time on the playmat going Ehn! Ehn! Ehn! like she did before. Now she checks things out for awhile before the chorus of Ehn! begins and I have to flip her over. Once I do that, she's willing to hang out for a good 15 minutes looking at the toys and mirror hanging overhead.

Logan spends the time doing more pushups and has his head up at 90 degrees and his chest off the mat. He says he plans on crawling ASAP since he has places to go and trouble to get into.

I'm goin' thataway! Real soon!

Can you reach that stuff?
Nah.
Me neither. Sure wish I could control my hands.
Really? Me too!

The twins have been noticing one another more often and usually break into big grins for one another. Of course, they tend to do the same thing for the mirror, but it's very cute to see. I'm looking forward to the day they'll play together side by side.

For the time being, I'd settle for sleeping side by side. At the same time. For several hours. At night.

A girl's gotta dream!

A whole new world!

Can you hear Ariel singing? I can!

Something big is afoot at Chez Hatchet!

Did you know that babies that once drank from bottles in their first few weeks of life can forget how to do so over time? Yeah, I didn't really think about it much either until my MIL said she'd watch the kids for Someone's 40th birthday on Friday.

So now we're trying to re-bottle train in time for our dinner out. Alone. Sans child and infants.

Things aren't going as well as we'd thought they would but we're working on it! Or rather, Eric is while I kinda hide from Emma and still nurse Logan. Then once he's got Emma squared away it will be Logan's turn to scream and cry whilst I sit somewhere else in the house and feel tiny daggers pierce my heart at each cry. They just want to breastfeed and I just want to escape for dinner. Le sigh!

My plan is to nurse before we go, then nurse after we return and then determine if we can go to see The Golden Compass afterwards. Dinner and a movie out aren't exactly big and splashy plans for your 40th birthday, but with twins in the picture they seem enormous. The magnitude something as simple as bottle feeding takes on is incredible.

1. Remove milk from breast with breast pump.
2. Attach nipple to bottle.
3. Insert nipple into infant mouth.
4. Infant removes milk efficiently without unnecessary screaming, crying or thrashing about. Not throwing up would be a bonus.

Wish us luck! And speed. Definitely speed.

Spooky

We were walking back from school with Caitlin and the twins in their double stroller when a lady came walking quickly up to us. Turns out that she recognized our stroller because hers looked just like it, except that she had fraternal twin girls.

Then things got funny.

We asked the standard question: how old are they?

"Two months," said she.
"Really?" we replied with interest. "Ours are also 2 months. What day?"
"The 28th."
"Ours were on the 27th!"

Blah blah blah!

We walked on with her since she lived down the hill as well and found out her husband's birthday is 2 days before Eric's. Eeee! Then, just to get that last little bit of weirdness out of the way, we asked when her birthday was. Nope! Not on mine, but it is the day before Eric's mother's.

It was weird and funny and she seemed very nice. Of course, now she knows where we live, so it's possible we'll see her again.

Hopefully not in a stalkerish sort of way, either.*

Heh! Heh. Hee... [Shifty eyes]




* I don't know what I'd be worried about. I pick up strange women all the time. My best all time score was Valerie. However, remind me to tell you the story of when I picked up this blonde in Ireland....

About Caitlin

"How is Caitlin doing with the twins?"

That's possibly the most common question I get these days. From all of the entries I've made, you'd think she's all but disappeared, wouldn't you? Well, she's still here but things are tough for her.

She's very excited to be a big sister and is very helpful, for the most part. When we ask her to fetch and carry, she almost always complies. She really likes the babies, except for when they're screaming and we're all trapped in the car together. I can't really blame her, after all it hurts my ears too, but I freaked out when Emma's cries went strangely muffled one day. Turns out Caitlin had shoved the blanket into Emma's mouth to muffle her crying.

I freaked out all over Caitlin once we were out of the car and in the house.

I'm not proud of that moment. Unfortunately, there have been plenty more where that one came from.

Sometimes when they're screaming, she tries screaming louder. Not helpful. Sometimes when they're sleeping she is singing at the top of her lungs in the very next room. Also not helpful. Sometimes when asked to entertain them with a toy she shakes it fiercely inches away from their face; or when asked to rock them in their car seats whips them forward and back. When trying to hold the babies, she squeezes them or jiggles them or bounces them around in a head-snappingly disturbing manner.

And I freak the hell out.

Then, when hollered at about it, she starts crying and running from the room. I don't always start out hollering, but when you say STOP! and she doesn't? and you have to yell it three times before she actually STOPS doing the scary/harmful/dangerous/freak out inducing thing? then I head right down Screamer's Boulevard and don't stop until I hit Over Reactor's Guilt Alley.

Once, when pissed off at me a few weeks back for asking her to go brush her teeth, she ran up the stairs and into her room and slammed her door shut. Now, ordinarily slamming your door shut around here is a big no-no and will get your door taken off its hinges until you have been properly chastised. However, this time the slamming caused my wedding picture - my glass framed wedding picture - to fly off the wall. Gravity still works around these here parts, so it took over and the picture when smashing to the floor where the glass exploded on contact. Glass has an allergy, you see, to bamboo floors.

That was a hard night. I skipped right past mad and went directly to depressed.

I understand that her entire life has been turned upside down by the presence of the twins. So has mine and Eric's. I understand that it's hard to go from the center of attention to the outer edge. The problem is that Eric and I are both exhausted and our ability to put up with whiny or resentful or bratty behavior is completely shot. I feel like Jekyl and Hyde: one moment I'm snapping at Caitlin to "Pick up her room an don't make me ask you again!" and the next I'm smiling and cooing at the twins.

We try to set up play dates for her. Eric tries to specifically set time aside for her, to read her a story at bedtime. I'm the one that is trapped under twins and unavailable almost all the time. My ability to play is shot and I'm often left angry at her and guilt-ridden for feeling angry. I know that she's "just 6" and that she is going to act that way. It's just hard to deal when I'm faced with the whiny, resistant, non-tooth brushing, slow dressing, back-talking, needy, crying version of Caitlin.

On the bright side, when she does something well or exceptional, we lay the praise on thick. This morning, for example, Eric shut off the alarm and didn't get up to get Caitlin to school until 15 minutes before they had to leave. She, however, had gotten up and brushed her teeth and hair, gotten dressed and fed the cats all before Eric woke up. We took her to get ice cream after school as a treat.

If you've been through this and have advice, lay it on me. Keep in mind that it has to be reasonable. Telling me to let it all go ain't gonna happen. Just telling me to cut her more slack isn't constructive. We need actionable ideas that are known to work to get us through this transition period. And that are physically possible to do for parents that are exhausted all the time.

Waking up on the right side of cute

Emma is in a good mood this morning. She's smiling and cooing and perky. She was so busy smiling and proto-laughing at me that she couldn't nurse. She's been sleeping really well lately: 4-5 hour spans. Unfortunately she hasn't taught Logan this trick, so he's still waking up every 3 hours.

Weep!

Last night we went to dinner for the 2nd time with the twins. They did a great job: Emma slept through most of dinner, while Logan woke up, nursed and then hung out quietly while we ate. So far we've racked up two lunches and two dinners out, it's incredible!

Going out to eat with them is like playing with fire: you never know if or when everything is going to explode into a horror of screaming and wailing and destruction of personal property. I was worried because you never know when they are going to vomit. Sometimes I can tell and burp them before they erupt, other times I am just as surprised as they are and just as covered. I've been doing better with covering them with a Vomit Deflection Device (aka a receiving blanket) and have gotten pretty good at turning them away just in time to avoid getting covered myself.

But you never know.

I was also concerned about going out to a busy restaurant and being conspicuously on display in the center of the room. Having to nurse in public is not high on my list of desirable Lifetime Achievements. While I have done it and will do it, I don't especially like it. Add in the fantastic frisson of fear one feels, wondering if their offspring will cover themselves, the floor and me in sour, curdled milk and you have a recipe for tension only relieved by making it out of the restaurant clad in the same clothing I had entered in, with my clothes in their original condition.

My concerns were immediately put to rest when I saw our table: we were placed in the back corner of the restaurant in a little alcove. I sat to the left with my back to the main part of the restaurant, secure in the knowledge that I would be less likely to flash the world my workin' breasts when someone woke up. Someone would, it was just a question of who.

In the end, it was fine! Dinner was good: embarrassment and vomit free. Many thanks to Pop Pop and Nana Sue for taking us out.

Later that night back at home, of course, both of them threw up on me one right after the other.

Figures!

Blast from the Past

I found my old photos that my mother had given me a few years back and thought I'd start scanning a few and attempt to restore them. I'm afraid I'm not very good at it, but here's my first attempt.

That's my older sister, Dawn, on the left of mom (Rowrr! She's ~26 or 28 here.) and moi on the right. Hatchet the Younger. I was probably 3 or 4 here, making Dawn 5 or 6. Check out those Shirley Temple curls! Hee!

Restored version. The over exposed issue is not my fault!

Original version.

A Hundred Years of Emma

Emma, our little Emma, was born 100 years (4 months and 8 days) after her namesake.

Eric was just musing on that fact this morning. Let's expand on this.

When Emma the Elder was born in 1907:

LIFE IN THE UNITED STATES
Only 8 percent of all dwellings were using electricity.
The population of the country was 87,008,000.
New York was the most populated state. (According to the 1900 census, there were 7,268,894 residents in New York, compared to 6,302,115 in Pennsylvania. In the 1910 census, there were 9,113,614
residents of New York and 7,665,111 residents of Pennsylvania.)

SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY AND INVENTIONS
Scientists used radiometric dating to determine that the earth was 2.2 billion years old.
Albert Einstein introduced the principle of E=mc2.
Ivan Pavlov demonstrated conditioned responses with salivating dogs.
Lee DeForest invented the triode thermionic amplifier.
The Autochrome Lumiere was the first color photography process to be marketed.

UNITED STATES ECONOMY
A loaf of bread cost 5 cents.
A gallon of milk cost 31 cents.
A Hershey bar cost 5 cents.
A stamp cost 2 cents.
A car cost $500.
A house cost $4,500.
The average household income was $897 a year.
Unemployment was at 2.8 percent.
The federal government spent $.58 billion.

UNITED STATES HISTORY
Theodore Roosevelt was the president of the United States; his vice president was Charles W. Fairbanks.
A fall of the stock market sparked a financial panic across the country in October. J.P. Morgan, E.H. Harriman, James Stillman, Henry Clay Frick and other financiers created a $25 million pool and invested in shares on the New York Stock Exchange to avert a major financial crisis.
The “Indian Territory” and “Oklahoma Territory” became the 46th state, Oklahoma, on November 16.
Pennsylvania adopted its state flag.

-- Info from What Was Life Like in 1907?

Emma the Elder regaled the family with stories of the ice men, with their horse drawn carriages, bringing blocks of ice from house to house to go into everyone's ice box, the precursor to the refrigerator. She saw the wholesale adoption of electricity, the telephone, television, automobiles, airplanes, computers, space travel and more. The right to vote for women and minorities. The introduction and repeal of prohibition. WWI and WWII, the Korean War, Vietnam, the Gulf War, and the fall of the Soviet Union.

It's mind-boggling. My mind, it is boggled.

Emma the Younger will see a whole new world. We may send a manned expedition to Mars in her lifetime. Computers are getting faster and smaller. Entire diseases have been and will be eradicated. The environment is crumbling around us, but if we work together we can save it.

A brave new world, indeed.

Will she see teleporters? Nanotechnology? Life extension? Full body virtual reality games? Flying cars? Silver jumpsuits? Will we be around to see some of it?

I sure hope so.

What do you think life will be like in 100 years?

Newsflash!

No one threw up on my all day yesterday!

Yeehaaaaaw!

Unfortunately, I'm certain it's just a momentary blip in our Tale of Yuck. Le sigh!