52 inches in 48 hours

No, it's not some miraculous dieting product that you can find on late night television. Instead, it is the amount of snow that dropped on my MIL, keeping her away from her only son on his 40th birthday.

Trooper that she is, she tried to come anyway, but turned back when things looked really ugly.

To help you visualize it:

Snowed in. Photo by Grammy.

Another way of looking at it is this: you could drop Caitlin into the snowbank and if she sank to the bottom, there'd be 7 inches from the top of her head to the top of the snowbank.

That's deep!

We're sorry they're not here, but we're glad everyone's safe at home.

Happy 40th Birthday Eric!

The day started with a blizzard.

Not the kind of blizzard you could see or shovel, either. Instead it was the kind of blizzard that happens far away from you and yet has terrible consequences in your immediate future. This blizzard closed down Monarch Pass which meant Grammy wasn't comin' down the mountain to watch the twins and Caitlin. That meant there would be no fancy-pants dinner for our heroes. It also meant that when the phone rang early in the morning and Kansas was on the line, that the disappointments were going to rack up today.

So there we were: Linda wasn't coming so dinner out was over unless we could find a replacement and Ed & Val aren't coming to visit this weekend due to worsening weather conditions between Colorado and Kansas. Sadness fell over the household like an ugly grey woolen blanket - sopping wet and smelly with disappointment. Eric was ready to call and cancel our reservation, but I made him hold off, just in case I could work a miracle. Eric ran off to run his Very Important errands while I worked on the Birthday Miracle.

It came in the form of Nana-Sue and Pop-Pop. They stepped into the Grammy-shaped hole in our lives and filled it: watching the twins and Caitlin for our very first Night Out. Because, really, how often does one turn 40? Thirty-nine may come around a few times before we get the hang of it, but 40? Only once. So on this Day of Infamy we applaud Sue & Herb for making our dream of dinner out a reality.

After Eric completed his errands, we got ready to go.

What errands? Oh...just a few related to his birthday purchase. He got one of these:
Not enough detail for you? Try this:
He got a what?!
He got a used, 2003, Porsche Boxster.

Why not something more...practical? Well, if you were given the choice between a new 4 door Honda Accord or a Porsche for the same exact price what would you choose?

Yeah, I thought so!

Besides, we have my Accord, which fits all 5 of us (luckily enough) and his car has always been the fun, impractical one anyway. We couldn't fit all of us in his Integra either (which has reached the point where repairing it will cost more than it's worth), so this change made no difference. Also, he's been lusting over these cars since before Caitlin was born and couldn't get up the guts to buy one. When he saw this one...it was time.

Call it his mid-life crisis car, if you like.

We got ready to go. I nursed Logan before getting dressed - just in case - while Emma was sleeping. I thought if she was heavily asleep we might be able to sneak out without nursing her again. No luck. I pulled a towel across my lap and draped her with a Vomit Deflection Device (aka a receiving blanket) and warned her that she wasn't to throw up on me or at least give me plenty of warning. Well...she gave me warning, but it turns out that our ideas of "plenty" don't match.

Bleurgh!

The one nice outfit I can fit into was a mess. I stripped down and Eric attempted to clean the skirt and shirt up while I finished nursing the Vomiting Varmint. I sat there, in my skivvies and sexy boots, looking like something out of the MILF edition of some lad mag and thought dark thoughts about my luck and my daughter.

I came up with an alternate outfit, after rejecting several others that just don't fit right now. I went from cute to corporate as I pulled out one of my suits from my days of working for The Man. Moving fast, we hightailed it outta there and not in the shiny new car, either. It was snowing and Pretty New Car only has summer tires. Bummer!

Dinner at L'Atelier made up for all of it.

We had the 8 course tasting menu and loved every bite.

1. Smoked salmon with capers and a large, rectangular potato chip thingy.
2. Mike's well fleet clams in chowder. A clam chowder to make your taste buds weep!
3. Lobster in potato foam. Potatoes never tasted so gooooood!
4. Bibb lettuce, red beets and goat cheese. Ehn. Nothing to write home about, although I liked the goat cheese.
5. Sorbet to cleanse our pallets. I liked Eric's orange sorbet best.
   
6. Filet mignon don Eduardo. OMG! YUMMM!
7. L'Atelier dessert. A pair of tiny profiteroles in creme fraiche with a raspberry couli. Nice.
8. Cheese course of goat cheese and a semi-hard French cheese with a slice of crunchy bread. Yum.

They disappointed me with their tea selection and the fact that they had neither chai nor hot chocolate. Whatever is a girl to do? Ah well, you can't excel at everything!

We talked and talked and talked and never once did we have to cut up someone else's food, nurse anyone, change a diaper or remind someone for the umpteenth time to Use your napkin! It's right there in front of you! Arghhhh! We did talk about the kids, of course, and how lucky we are and have been and how it seems like we've both been improving with age. He gets better every year and he can still make me laugh, even when I don't want to. This whole twin thing has pushed him really hard and parenting Caitlin has gotten tougher, but he's hanging in there and doing a fabulous job.

Eric & Logan.Caitlin's ready to go.

He's taken great care of me this last year while I was more pregnant than a woman should ever be and I've appreciated it more than I can say.

I think I'll keep him.

Especially if he lets me drive his new car.

Ten Weeks

Ten weeks have passed by and day by day Emma and Logan become more of who they are and a wee bit more of who they will be.

The big excitement this week was working on bottle feeding. I think we can claim success, since Eric got both to drink from a bottle before the day was over, if grudgingly. He started with Emma first and she gave him hell until he remembered some of the tricks he had applied to Caitlin so long ago. For example, he had to remember that a baby all worked up and screaming like they're being murdered is really not interested in your damned bottle of whatever the hell that is, where's my mom?!

After much screaming, much soothing and sneaking up on her with a bottle of expressed breast milk right after she'd woken up from naps, Emma finally gave in and finished the bottle. We claimed that as a win and I took her back into my arms to nurse. You've never seen a happier or more grateful Emma. She kept looking up at me with an almost tearful, wistful smile. Is this all for me? No more plastic-thingy and cold milk? Oh thank you! Thank you so much! Slurp, slurp, slurp! She didn't even throw up on me, she was so thankful!

Emma expressing Milk Fear.
Fear that Daddy will take Mommy and the Pillowy Breasts away and force her to drink from that plastic thing again.

After getting Emma done, Logan was a breeze. Eric skipped a lot of the screaming steps and went right to getting it done. Not that there was no screaming involved. There was, it just wasn't as traumatized and didn't last as long since Eric was in the groove. Logan, however, didn't really buy in to the whole thing until we reheated his milk to the proper temperature.

Down the hatch!

Little chubby hands!

Emma smiling and flaunting her edible cheeks.

Logan checks out the toys hanging on the playmat.

They get a little bigger every day. Smile a little more. They're a little more enjoyable each day.

Sleep is still broken up into 3 hour chunks at night, though. Emma sleeps like a champ: she does 4 and 5 hour stretches regularly. The problem is Logan. It wouldn't matter if Emma slept for 8 hours together if Logan doesn't do the same thing. Argh! Another downside to twinnage: you might as well not even have the good sleeper. Although it is more like having serial singletons, since I don't wake her up to feed at the same time Logan wakes up.

Trying to put Logan down on any flat surface during the day, or into a car seat has been tough. He just really likes to nap on my chest and I really want to let him sleep, except that I really have things I need to get done that don't involve having a tiny remora attached to my chest.

Emma has learned to somewhat like being on her tummy, now that she has much better head control. Now that she can actually lift her enormous melon off the floor, she doesn't spend the entire time on the playmat going Ehn! Ehn! Ehn! like she did before. Now she checks things out for awhile before the chorus of Ehn! begins and I have to flip her over. Once I do that, she's willing to hang out for a good 15 minutes looking at the toys and mirror hanging overhead.

Logan spends the time doing more pushups and has his head up at 90 degrees and his chest off the mat. He says he plans on crawling ASAP since he has places to go and trouble to get into.

I'm goin' thataway! Real soon!

Can you reach that stuff?
Nah.
Me neither. Sure wish I could control my hands.
Really? Me too!

The twins have been noticing one another more often and usually break into big grins for one another. Of course, they tend to do the same thing for the mirror, but it's very cute to see. I'm looking forward to the day they'll play together side by side.

For the time being, I'd settle for sleeping side by side. At the same time. For several hours. At night.

A girl's gotta dream!

A whole new world!

Can you hear Ariel singing? I can!

Something big is afoot at Chez Hatchet!

Did you know that babies that once drank from bottles in their first few weeks of life can forget how to do so over time? Yeah, I didn't really think about it much either until my MIL said she'd watch the kids for Someone's 40th birthday on Friday.

So now we're trying to re-bottle train in time for our dinner out. Alone. Sans child and infants.

Things aren't going as well as we'd thought they would but we're working on it! Or rather, Eric is while I kinda hide from Emma and still nurse Logan. Then once he's got Emma squared away it will be Logan's turn to scream and cry whilst I sit somewhere else in the house and feel tiny daggers pierce my heart at each cry. They just want to breastfeed and I just want to escape for dinner. Le sigh!

My plan is to nurse before we go, then nurse after we return and then determine if we can go to see The Golden Compass afterwards. Dinner and a movie out aren't exactly big and splashy plans for your 40th birthday, but with twins in the picture they seem enormous. The magnitude something as simple as bottle feeding takes on is incredible.

1. Remove milk from breast with breast pump.
2. Attach nipple to bottle.
3. Insert nipple into infant mouth.
4. Infant removes milk efficiently without unnecessary screaming, crying or thrashing about. Not throwing up would be a bonus.

Wish us luck! And speed. Definitely speed.

Spooky

We were walking back from school with Caitlin and the twins in their double stroller when a lady came walking quickly up to us. Turns out that she recognized our stroller because hers looked just like it, except that she had fraternal twin girls.

Then things got funny.

We asked the standard question: how old are they?

"Two months," said she.
"Really?" we replied with interest. "Ours are also 2 months. What day?"
"The 28th."
"Ours were on the 27th!"

Blah blah blah!

We walked on with her since she lived down the hill as well and found out her husband's birthday is 2 days before Eric's. Eeee! Then, just to get that last little bit of weirdness out of the way, we asked when her birthday was. Nope! Not on mine, but it is the day before Eric's mother's.

It was weird and funny and she seemed very nice. Of course, now she knows where we live, so it's possible we'll see her again.

Hopefully not in a stalkerish sort of way, either.*

Heh! Heh. Hee... [Shifty eyes]




* I don't know what I'd be worried about. I pick up strange women all the time. My best all time score was Valerie. However, remind me to tell you the story of when I picked up this blonde in Ireland....

About Caitlin

"How is Caitlin doing with the twins?"

That's possibly the most common question I get these days. From all of the entries I've made, you'd think she's all but disappeared, wouldn't you? Well, she's still here but things are tough for her.

She's very excited to be a big sister and is very helpful, for the most part. When we ask her to fetch and carry, she almost always complies. She really likes the babies, except for when they're screaming and we're all trapped in the car together. I can't really blame her, after all it hurts my ears too, but I freaked out when Emma's cries went strangely muffled one day. Turns out Caitlin had shoved the blanket into Emma's mouth to muffle her crying.

I freaked out all over Caitlin once we were out of the car and in the house.

I'm not proud of that moment. Unfortunately, there have been plenty more where that one came from.

Sometimes when they're screaming, she tries screaming louder. Not helpful. Sometimes when they're sleeping she is singing at the top of her lungs in the very next room. Also not helpful. Sometimes when asked to entertain them with a toy she shakes it fiercely inches away from their face; or when asked to rock them in their car seats whips them forward and back. When trying to hold the babies, she squeezes them or jiggles them or bounces them around in a head-snappingly disturbing manner.

And I freak the hell out.

Then, when hollered at about it, she starts crying and running from the room. I don't always start out hollering, but when you say STOP! and she doesn't? and you have to yell it three times before she actually STOPS doing the scary/harmful/dangerous/freak out inducing thing? then I head right down Screamer's Boulevard and don't stop until I hit Over Reactor's Guilt Alley.

Once, when pissed off at me a few weeks back for asking her to go brush her teeth, she ran up the stairs and into her room and slammed her door shut. Now, ordinarily slamming your door shut around here is a big no-no and will get your door taken off its hinges until you have been properly chastised. However, this time the slamming caused my wedding picture - my glass framed wedding picture - to fly off the wall. Gravity still works around these here parts, so it took over and the picture when smashing to the floor where the glass exploded on contact. Glass has an allergy, you see, to bamboo floors.

That was a hard night. I skipped right past mad and went directly to depressed.

I understand that her entire life has been turned upside down by the presence of the twins. So has mine and Eric's. I understand that it's hard to go from the center of attention to the outer edge. The problem is that Eric and I are both exhausted and our ability to put up with whiny or resentful or bratty behavior is completely shot. I feel like Jekyl and Hyde: one moment I'm snapping at Caitlin to "Pick up her room an don't make me ask you again!" and the next I'm smiling and cooing at the twins.

We try to set up play dates for her. Eric tries to specifically set time aside for her, to read her a story at bedtime. I'm the one that is trapped under twins and unavailable almost all the time. My ability to play is shot and I'm often left angry at her and guilt-ridden for feeling angry. I know that she's "just 6" and that she is going to act that way. It's just hard to deal when I'm faced with the whiny, resistant, non-tooth brushing, slow dressing, back-talking, needy, crying version of Caitlin.

On the bright side, when she does something well or exceptional, we lay the praise on thick. This morning, for example, Eric shut off the alarm and didn't get up to get Caitlin to school until 15 minutes before they had to leave. She, however, had gotten up and brushed her teeth and hair, gotten dressed and fed the cats all before Eric woke up. We took her to get ice cream after school as a treat.

If you've been through this and have advice, lay it on me. Keep in mind that it has to be reasonable. Telling me to let it all go ain't gonna happen. Just telling me to cut her more slack isn't constructive. We need actionable ideas that are known to work to get us through this transition period. And that are physically possible to do for parents that are exhausted all the time.

Waking up on the right side of cute

Emma is in a good mood this morning. She's smiling and cooing and perky. She was so busy smiling and proto-laughing at me that she couldn't nurse. She's been sleeping really well lately: 4-5 hour spans. Unfortunately she hasn't taught Logan this trick, so he's still waking up every 3 hours.

Weep!

Last night we went to dinner for the 2nd time with the twins. They did a great job: Emma slept through most of dinner, while Logan woke up, nursed and then hung out quietly while we ate. So far we've racked up two lunches and two dinners out, it's incredible!

Going out to eat with them is like playing with fire: you never know if or when everything is going to explode into a horror of screaming and wailing and destruction of personal property. I was worried because you never know when they are going to vomit. Sometimes I can tell and burp them before they erupt, other times I am just as surprised as they are and just as covered. I've been doing better with covering them with a Vomit Deflection Device (aka a receiving blanket) and have gotten pretty good at turning them away just in time to avoid getting covered myself.

But you never know.

I was also concerned about going out to a busy restaurant and being conspicuously on display in the center of the room. Having to nurse in public is not high on my list of desirable Lifetime Achievements. While I have done it and will do it, I don't especially like it. Add in the fantastic frisson of fear one feels, wondering if their offspring will cover themselves, the floor and me in sour, curdled milk and you have a recipe for tension only relieved by making it out of the restaurant clad in the same clothing I had entered in, with my clothes in their original condition.

My concerns were immediately put to rest when I saw our table: we were placed in the back corner of the restaurant in a little alcove. I sat to the left with my back to the main part of the restaurant, secure in the knowledge that I would be less likely to flash the world my workin' breasts when someone woke up. Someone would, it was just a question of who.

In the end, it was fine! Dinner was good: embarrassment and vomit free. Many thanks to Pop Pop and Nana Sue for taking us out.

Later that night back at home, of course, both of them threw up on me one right after the other.

Figures!

Blast from the Past

I found my old photos that my mother had given me a few years back and thought I'd start scanning a few and attempt to restore them. I'm afraid I'm not very good at it, but here's my first attempt.

That's my older sister, Dawn, on the left of mom (Rowrr! She's ~26 or 28 here.) and moi on the right. Hatchet the Younger. I was probably 3 or 4 here, making Dawn 5 or 6. Check out those Shirley Temple curls! Hee!

Restored version. The over exposed issue is not my fault!

Original version.

A Hundred Years of Emma

Emma, our little Emma, was born 100 years (4 months and 8 days) after her namesake.

Eric was just musing on that fact this morning. Let's expand on this.

When Emma the Elder was born in 1907:

LIFE IN THE UNITED STATES
Only 8 percent of all dwellings were using electricity.
The population of the country was 87,008,000.
New York was the most populated state. (According to the 1900 census, there were 7,268,894 residents in New York, compared to 6,302,115 in Pennsylvania. In the 1910 census, there were 9,113,614
residents of New York and 7,665,111 residents of Pennsylvania.)

SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY AND INVENTIONS
Scientists used radiometric dating to determine that the earth was 2.2 billion years old.
Albert Einstein introduced the principle of E=mc2.
Ivan Pavlov demonstrated conditioned responses with salivating dogs.
Lee DeForest invented the triode thermionic amplifier.
The Autochrome Lumiere was the first color photography process to be marketed.

UNITED STATES ECONOMY
A loaf of bread cost 5 cents.
A gallon of milk cost 31 cents.
A Hershey bar cost 5 cents.
A stamp cost 2 cents.
A car cost $500.
A house cost $4,500.
The average household income was $897 a year.
Unemployment was at 2.8 percent.
The federal government spent $.58 billion.

UNITED STATES HISTORY
Theodore Roosevelt was the president of the United States; his vice president was Charles W. Fairbanks.
A fall of the stock market sparked a financial panic across the country in October. J.P. Morgan, E.H. Harriman, James Stillman, Henry Clay Frick and other financiers created a $25 million pool and invested in shares on the New York Stock Exchange to avert a major financial crisis.
The “Indian Territory” and “Oklahoma Territory” became the 46th state, Oklahoma, on November 16.
Pennsylvania adopted its state flag.

-- Info from What Was Life Like in 1907?

Emma the Elder regaled the family with stories of the ice men, with their horse drawn carriages, bringing blocks of ice from house to house to go into everyone's ice box, the precursor to the refrigerator. She saw the wholesale adoption of electricity, the telephone, television, automobiles, airplanes, computers, space travel and more. The right to vote for women and minorities. The introduction and repeal of prohibition. WWI and WWII, the Korean War, Vietnam, the Gulf War, and the fall of the Soviet Union.

It's mind-boggling. My mind, it is boggled.

Emma the Younger will see a whole new world. We may send a manned expedition to Mars in her lifetime. Computers are getting faster and smaller. Entire diseases have been and will be eradicated. The environment is crumbling around us, but if we work together we can save it.

A brave new world, indeed.

Will she see teleporters? Nanotechnology? Life extension? Full body virtual reality games? Flying cars? Silver jumpsuits? Will we be around to see some of it?

I sure hope so.

What do you think life will be like in 100 years?

Newsflash!

No one threw up on my all day yesterday!

Yeehaaaaaw!

Unfortunately, I'm certain it's just a momentary blip in our Tale of Yuck. Le sigh!

Say goodbye to leafy greens at the Farmer's Market!

If you like your to shop for fruits and veggies at your local farmer's market, you'll want to have a look at this:

USDA PROPOSES RULE UNDERMINING ORGANICS AND SMALL FARMS
The USDA is accepting public comments until December 3 on a new proposed rule that would force small farms growing green leafy vegetables, such as spinach and lettuce, to put into place industrial-style sterilization measures that reduce biodiversity and soil fertility. The proposal follows in the wake of the USDA's recent controversial crackdown on raw almonds,continued interference with raw milk production, and bans on the sale of locally produced organic meat directly to consumers. The proposed rules basically cover up the fact that e-coli 0157H contamination in lettuce and spinach crops comes from feedlot or industrial ivestock-contaminated irrigation waters or contamination in large processing plants. The rule limits hedgerows, and other non-crop vegetation commonly found on and around small organic and sustainable farms. In addition, although every organic farmer knows that healthy soil is literally alive with multiple types of healthy bacteria, the rules also discourage the development of beneficial microbial life in the soil. Send a message to the USDA today:
Learn more and take action: http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_8679.cfm

As a small farmer using organic practices, I can tell you right now that my partner and I can't afford to sterilize an entire field and that sterilizing the soil is not a practice you'd want to follow for developing healthy soil (We're also no where near a feedlot - the source of the e-coli.). Healthy soil has lots of beneficial microbial life in it that helps plants to grow better. Compost, which we use a lot of, is filled with beneficial microbes. So if you care about small farmers, organic practices, healthy soil, supporting your local farmer's market and/or leafy green vegetables, please comment during the open comment period and tell the USDA how you feel.

My fellow farmers and I thank you.

Super Powers

We are a family of super powered people over here.

Note that I did not say Super Heroes. That is because not all of our powers are benign.

Me? I have magical breastmilk production, the ability to knock infants unconscious with said milk and I can turn a crabby baby into a happy one by just placing them near my chest.

Eric can make up songs instantly that soothe the savage infant breast, but he has a dark power as well. He can take a sleeping, happy baby from me and turn it into a crabby, awake and crying one.

Emma has a sonic attack. She has the loudest screams I've ever heard. She also can knock you out with the cuteness of her smile and the magnetic attraction of her cheeks.

Logan can kill you with cuteness when he smiles and coos. His ability to cover you in vomit is only matched by Emma. I'm working on my Dodge skill.

Caitlin has the power of Super Reading and Super Whining. She can make your ears bleed inside a minute. She's also amazingly loving, so we're keeping her.

What's your super power?

Logan says...

After the doctor left the room, Logan, sitting on dad's lap, turned to me and said:

"Mom!"
Hatchet: (With an indulgent grin) "Yes?"
Logan (via Eric): "I won't be allowed on airplanes anymore!"
Hatchet: "Why ever not?" (Raised eyebrow)
Logan (via Eric): "Because of these guns!" (Makes a muscle with his tiny right arm)

That's right folks, he'll be here all week!

What can I say? Sleep deprivation makes many things really funny. To us.

Photos by request, for Joseph, Matt & Janet.

These guns!

Muscles. I has them.

Oh yeah!

My workout routine involves many push-ups.

Doctor! Doctor!

We took the twins in for their 2 month appointment today. Fun, fun! We asked about:

• The thrush and were told it's all gone. Hooray!
• The cradle cap: nothing to worry about, just keep scrubbing with olive oil or conditioner and washing it out.
• The baby acne and were told it's also nothing to worry about.
• The red spot on the back of Logan's head appears to be a large birthmark and unrelated to the cradle cap.
• The rash on his arms is definitely heat rash and isn't bothering him any.
• The vomiting. My theory on the vomiting is that since it's only about once a day it is due to one of three potential things:
1. Gas bubble that we didn't get out in time.
2. Gag reflex. Sometimes we bite off more than we can "chew".
3. Greed. Sometimes we drink more than our wee tummies can hold.
The doctor agreed with me, especially since it is only once (or so) a day each and since they're both clearly thriving it isn't too much.

And then it was time for shots.

I asked them to spread them out, so we only got 2 out of the 4 shots we were supposed to get today. Even with that, one of those shots is actually 3 combined! It just seems like a whole lot of stress on a tiny body. Why did I do it this way? Well, frankly it's because I've gotten paranoid about such things as I've gotten older. Consider this: last year my cat had a bad reaction to a multi-shot and acted like he was dying. This freaked me out, yet we didn't know which one it was so we could avoid it this year. Basically, I don't want to see something similar happen to my babies, thus the spread.

Will it cost more? Sure. Will it help me sleep better at night? Absolutely. Just not literally. For which I weep in vain.

Data!

Emma:

• Height: 21.5" (10th-25th %)
• Weight: 11 lbs 11 oz (75th %)
• Head size: 15" (25th %)

Logan:

• Height: 21.5" (5th %)
• Weight: 11 lbs 8 oz (50th %)
• Head size: 15.5" (25th-50th %)

Many kudos on how strong they both are. Emma tried rolling over on the table to show the doc just how strong she is, but didn't quite get her hips over Clearly she's on her way. Thus, neither one of them are safe to leave alone on the sofa anymore. Can crawling be far off?

Oh man! The thought of the pair of them crawling gives me heart palpitations!

Two Months

Two months.

Sixty days.

A million diapers.

A billion loads of laundry.

More vomit than you want to know about, but that won't stop me from talking about it!

Things are going pretty well these days, we still aren't sleeping but don't expect to be for awhile. We have had a total of 3 4 hour sleeping periods and we're hoping for more since the twins now remain awake a lot more during the day. The crazy cluster feedings still occur, but now that we're no longer in the middle of a growth spurt it doesn't feel as though insanity is nigh. They're both very entertaining when they are awake and not crying. They smile a lot and coo. We've had many conversations involving goos, gees and ah-goos. Un-gee comes up as well which I translate as "Hungry!" and feed Logan when he says it. He doesn't object so I assume that I'm translating correctly.

Both of them like to stand up a lot. I suspect, that like Caitlin, they will be early walkers. Let's just see how early, shall we?

In the last two days the twins appear to have decided to swap the grumpiness factor. Logan is now grumpier than Emma and demands more attention and to not be put down, dammit! Which makes it difficult to do things like take pictures. Or clean. Or make food. But, enh!, who needs a clean house and food? The pictures though, that's a problem!

Emma still has thrush. We finally went out and bought Gentian Violet and gave it a try. I've gotta tell ya: it is PURPLE. I don't just mean a little purple, I mean ancient royalty would've killed for this dye!

Logan still has infant acne, cradle cap and crazy hair. Once his hair dries, he looks just like one of those Troll dolls. Would I kid you?

Crazy troll hair

Photos? Watch out: the cuteness is addictive.

Smiley

The games parents play: Eric "talks" for the twins.

Emma "talks" with Eric's help.

Logan "talks" with Eric's help.

Yin and yang

Check out those eyelashes!

Too cute for words. Except maybe "Argh!"

Buying Babies

Planned c-section: $14,000

Twin A: $3,500

Twin B: $3,500

Dealing with the insurance company to get them to cover your bills correctly? Priceless!

Effing insurance company!

Making Masala Chai

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a coffee drinker. Instead, I like tea. I also really like a nice cup of chai, however, finding a nice cup of chai in restaurants or in purchased mixtures is pretty difficult. There are only two places I've found where I like the chai, the rest have clearly used some sort of pre-made solution and it's bitter as all hell.

I was poking around on the Adagio tea site and someone linked to a recipe on wikiHow, of all places, for Masala Chai (Spice tea). Yum! Strangely enough, I'd always thought 'masala' was a specific set of spices, turns out it just means 'spice'. Chai means tea, which means every time you and I have been saying chai tea we were just being pointlessly redundant.

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients

• 2 teaspoons fresh ginger root; grated
• 1 whole star anise; broken up
• 1 teaspoon orange peel; grated
• 4 pieces cinnamon sticks; 1 1/2 inch
• 1 teaspoon cardamom seeds*
• 10 whole cloves
• 5 whole peppercorns
• 5 cups water
• 1/4 cup black tea leaves; (like Assam or Darjeeling)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/4 cup honey
• 3 cups skim milk

Steps

1. Bundle up the first seven ingredients in a length of cheese cloth and tie it together with a string. This is called a bouquet garni (pronounced "boo-KAY gar-NEE").
2. Place the bouquet garni in a pot of water. The string should be tied to the handle for easy removal later on.
3. Bring the water to a very low boil, then reduce the heat and simmer. Boiling water may extract too much bitterness from the tea leaves.
4. Add tea leaves and continue simmering for 15 minutes.
5. Remove the bouquet garni.
6. Strain the remaining liquid through a sieve to remove tea leaves.
7. Add honey, vanilla, and milk.
8. Serve. Pour the mixture over crushed ice if you're serving it cold. This makes eight servings.

Tips

• Tea leaves can release too much bitterness if exposed to hot water for too long. The general rule of thumb when making an "infusion" such as this is that the longer the ingredients remain in the liquid, the stronger their flavor will be. Experiment with a variety of leaves and time durations to see what works best for you.
• Remember that Chai Tea is an infinitely adaptable recipe. You may consider removing or changing the quantities of any of the ingredients, to your taste. For example, instead of honey, regular sugar or brown sugar could be used. Nutmeg is a common addition (best freeshly grated), and you may wish to try licorice, saffron, chocolate or cocoa.
• Feel free to experiment with other techniques such as using green or white tea instead of black tea leaves. Other variations could use soy milk instead of skim milk. Or you could use a different sweetener than honey, such as rice syrup or maple syrup.
• If you don't have cheesecloth or find it messy to deal with, you can purchase empty paper tea bags from a tea shop. Fill it with your spices (and another with tea leaves if you wish), close it with an inexpensive bag clip, then discard it when done. You can also get cloth bags made of unbleached muslin that are reusable. They close with a drawstring. Alternatively you can rely on the straining process to remove much of the solids but finely grated spices will pass through.
• The proper name for the drink known as "chai" or "chai tea" is "masala chai." The word "chai" is Urdu, Hindi, Mandarin Chinese and Russian for "tea", while "masala" is Hindi for "spice". If you say you are making "chai" that would mean that you are making plain tea. Thus both words are necessary.
• There are four kinds of cinnamon: China Cassia, Vietnamese Cassia, Korintje Cassia and Ceylon Cinnamon. Ceylon is twice as expensive and well worth it. Try all four or a combination.
• Some chai tea recipes call for a longer boiling time, such as one hour. In this instance, some ingredients, such as ginger, can be chopped into larger chunks. The tea may be added last (separately), and allowed to infuse after the concoction has stopped boiling. Some chai tea variations may also call for mint leaves, and exclude other ingredients, such as vanilla. Delicate ingredients such as mint leaves should be added during the end of the boil, or merely allowed to infuse after the boil has ended.

Changes I made:

• Didn't have star anise, so I skipped it. Can't stand anise flavor, anyway.
• Used 2% milk instead of skim. This would probably be even yummier with whole. It's not like I'm currently worried about calories!
  
• 1/4 cup of honey is only enough to just barely sweeten the tea, but it's probably better that way to allow the amount of sweetener to be altered individually. Eric liked it better with sugar, while I liked it with honey.
• I made it with Darjeeling this time. Might be fun to try other black tea varieties.
  
• I may drop the vanilla to 3/4 tsp next time.

Overall? Yum!

Do you have a chai recipe that knocks your socks off? Share it in the comments.

Now I just need some tea biscuits....

* Yes, I really do have strange spices like whole cardamom seeds in my spice cabinet. We're crazy foodies at Chez Hatchet.

Choosing Mr. Right: Activism Against Gender Violence

Did you know that today is The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women?

And that today is the start of the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence?

Me neither, but after a quick trip over to Feministe I know now! And you know what? I'm a woman. And I don't like violence against women, so I thought I'd say a little something about it. Maybe it will have a positive effect on someone out there or maybe not, but it's better than doing nothing which is guaranteed to have no effect. Hey...just like voting! Yes, I do harp on that issue a lot. Like I said before, I can make any conversation political because the personal is political.

So anyway...how do you go about choosing Mr. Right? Clearly it's no easy task when half of all marriages end in divorce and women around the globe are abused on a daily basis. So how do you choose wisely?

Personally, I think it goes back to the relationship your parents had while you were growing up and how you internalized those messages. I believe it's about self-respect issues and boundary issues. The choices you make and the friends you keep all have an impact on you. From watching my parents I learned what I didn't want as well as some things that I did want in my relationships.

While my mom was out taking care of me, we had some very interesting and surprising conversations. She surprised me when she said that she had told her own mother that she had decided she would never get married. She had her list: no gambling, no drinking, no abusing and no jealousy. However, in Jamaica, there are very few men that didn't gamble, drink, abuse, cheat and/or harbor intense jealousies. Some time after, my dad came along and everything changed luckily for all four of us kids. Growing up, from time to time, we'd have little conversations where she made it very clear to me that she'd never put up with hitting and neither should us girls. She also made it very clear to me that I shouldn't hit my boyfriends, even if we were kidding around since once you open that door it's hard to close. If it's OK for you to hit them, why shouldn't they be able to hit you in return? Especially if they're "just kidding". It's a short trip from playful hitting to serious hitting.

Later, as I went through my series of boyfriends, I found that I just wasn't attracted to certain types. When I had a boyfriend that hovered over me and followed me from room to room, I actually asked my mother to ask him to stop since he wasn't listening to me. The relationship ended soon after. Needy? Creepy? Misunderstood? I don't know, but I didn't need to date it.

I had a list as well: tall, dark hair, green eyes, smart, funny, witty, and with common sense. It never occurred to me that I should include the items on her list. As it turned out, tall, dark hair and green eyes got kicked to the curb when I met Eric, but smart, funny, witty and common sense he had in spades!

Things I had never verbalized became more important to me as we got serious: respect, partnership, communication, reliability, commitment and similar life values became very important. Deal breakers, even. The way we argued and handled our disagreements was a big issue for me. These were all very important and remain that way today. I needed an equal partner, not a little boy in a grown man's body that expected me to mother him.

I know that Caitlin is watching us and how we interact. I hope that she remembers it and chooses wisely. I hope that we're setting a good example for her and the twins and hope that it's possible to inoculate them against abusive relationships. I don't know if it is possible, but we're trying. We have those conversations where we talk about self-defense, self-respect and respect for others. We model the behaviors and attitudes we want them to internalize.

And we hope.

Rarrr!

moar funny pictures

How's your vocabulary?

Are you the type of person that used to look up a word in the dictionary and then get distracted and start reading all of the other words around the word you started looking for? Do you like quizzes? Do you like to help those in need?

If the answer to any or all of those is Yes! Then go to Free Rice and play their vocabulary game while giving rice away to those that need it.

Who distributes the donated rice?

The rice is distributed by the United Nations World Food Program (WFP). The World Food Program is the world’s largest food aid agency, working with over 1,000 other organizations in over 75 countries. In addition to providing food, the World Food Program helps hungry people to become self-reliant so that they escape hunger for good. Wherever possible, the World Food Program buys food locally to support local farmers and the local economy. We encourage you to visit the United Nations World Food Program to learn more about their successful approach to ending hunger.

I have to warn you though, the vocabulary game is addictive. Blame Missy. The web site says the vocabulary level goes up to 50 but that no one has scored higher than 48. I'm working on it!

Do some good. You can find the link on my bar to the right, under Buttons.

Click it! Click it, you fool!