Unrequited Puppy Love

My puppy did not love me, so I did not take it home.

I am saddened now, that my love was not to be.

Turns out that the one that I liked was the shy one. We put the leash on him (3rd visit) to take him for a walk around the store and he just wasn't that into us (Heh). He didn't like being away from his brother and he just lay down on the floor and looked at me with sad, shy puppy eyes.

Since my love was clearly not returned, I handed the leash and puppy back to the puppy wranglers.

Oh well.

Now, however, Eric is rubbing his hands together with evil joy that the concept of a puppy has now entered the picture. We're not planning on going out and looking anytime soon (that I'm aware of), but the thought is now there. Percolating in the back ground.

The cats are breathing tiny cat sighs of relief, even as we speak. Their space on the bed, still assured.

Now I will go and drown my sorrow in a small bowl of ice cream and some shortbread cookies.

It's my birthday!

Happy birthday me!

I have a song for the occasion:

It's my puppy and I'll cry if I want to!
Cry if I want to!
You would cry too, if it happened to you!

Yes, I did spend all night obsessing about the dog. I kept thinking up ways to have the dog. Naming the dog (don't even know what sex it is!). Walking the dog and such. Think, think, think.

Then today, after a yummy b-day lunch with Eric, I asked him if we could go back to PetSmart to look at the dog and see if I felt the same in the cold light of day that I felt last night. Weepy, to be exact, and wanting that black dog.

Um...

I'd like to tell you that I didn't. That I looked at the dog and said, "Who needs the hassle? Someone else will get it and love it." and then walked away.

Noooooo!

Instead, I thought I'd do some more research. Asked the guy working there about it. Has it been abused? The info on the cage mentions Puppy Rescue - what was it rescued from?

Never abused, 4 months old, the two puppies are brothers "rescued" from a kill shelter in Nebraska by the Puppy Rescue folks. Hey, he's potty trained! And he appears to like kids and other dogs. Not spastic, loud or barky. Very even tempered and social. Not fearful. $90 for adoption, already had the first sets of shots and he's already "chipped". Not neutered yet, though.

Did I mention he's house broken?

Errr. Errr. Brain malfunctioning. Errr!

Has anyone else expressed interest? One other person, but they haven't come back.

Oh. Oh dear. OK. Well, I have to think about it. We're just thinking about it. I have two cats already. I'm just thinking about it.

We all say goodbye and Eric and I go get Caitlin from school. We discuss the Dog Issue on the way (not in front of Caitlin). Eric has had dogs previously and from time to time has suggested we get one. I've been the one that has been all "No! No! We don't need a dog! Dogs take work! Way more work than cats! Besides, what would the cats think?" Now, suddenly the tables are turning. Now Eric, who said "Absolutely not!" last night is moving to a neutral position.

He's become Switzerland.

Well, think of this and that and expense and new baby and yadda yadda yadda! I've already thought about all of those things last night when I wasn't sleeping and they're all trivial. Only two things really stand out: walking the dog in the cold winter (I'm cold right now and it's in the 60s!) and the expense. Yet...I've never regretted owning any of my cats. I've also never reacted this way to a dog before (or since Blackie, whom I loved dearly).

Is this my dog? Or is this just the hormones taking over my brain?

I figure that a) it would get us out of the house on a regular basis (Step away from the computers!) and b) I'd have the next 7 months to train the dog and get in the habit of having a dog. And that is a really sweet dog. Not drooly. And house broken. I mean, come on!

Talk me out of it! Please! Or something! Ahhh!

Otherwise I think I might just have a new dog.

For my birthday.

Puppies!

So we went to PetSmart to get catfood, since the cats are enamored of continued existence and like their kibbles. We're really good that way - we feed them! Regularly, even.

Inside the front entrance was a cage of puppies. A pair of 4 month old, German Shepherd mix puppies. One was mostly black, with a little white spot on its chest, the other was brownish with black streaks. We stopped to pet the puppies.

This was my first mistake.

These were sweet, quiet, endearing puppies. They weren't loud, frantic, nervous puppies. They said, "Love us! Look at how sweet we are!". They were evil that way. So I petted the puppies and then we moved on to collect the all important cat food.

We swung by the kitty section and said hello to the local inmates. We do this regularly, so I am inured to the loveability vibes of kitties. Also, having some already helps. I'm staying with two. Then we wandered over to have a look at mice and frogs and fish. We like to visit. Not unlike visiting the zoo, only less ice cream is involved. And lions. Absolutely no lions at PetSmart. Shame that. Of course, I'd never take a lion home, but if they had Ocelots, I'd probably get one in a heart beat.

Then, on the way out, Eric paid and I visited with the puppies again.

And god dammit if I didn't want the black one. Really bad. Very suddenly. And then I was crying/trying not to cry. I stood up and started doing the little jigging dance of I'm-fine!-No-really!-I-need-to-leave-right-now! So then we left, with me inexplicably in tears over a dog that kind of reminded me of my German Shepherd mix, Randy, who was a nice dog, but psychotic. Didn't remind me at all of Blackie (Very original name, I know.), who was a Border Collie and The Best Dog In The World!

I wanted that puppy for its very own sake; its soft eared, sweet natured, sniffy nosed self.

It's not like I'm worried the puppy won't find a home, I know it will. But I wanted it. For me.

And I need a dog like a need a hole in my head.

Gaaah!

Fucking puppies!