Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Stress is...

Going to your child's end of school year award ceremony with screaming twins.

No? Not doing it for you? How about this?

Getting your daughter to a birthday party, when you don't have a present and don't know where the house is and your car is acting funny.

OK, so now you've bought a present, but you've forgotten a bag at home to put it in, so you go home to get it and then head out to the party, but now you're late.

You're late to a place you've never been and your nerves are a wreck from the car's sudden mysterious ailment and you almost run over a teenager who decides to cross the road right in front of you without ever looking to see if a car is coming.

So you're late to a birthday party, your car is acting wonky, you've almost just run over a child and your twins are screaming in back because they haven't napped yet. Your eldest child decides now is the time to start grilling you on your driving technique.

You're late and you're lost, but by God! you've got the present and you didn't run over that teen and you've turned around 4 times in a row even with the map in your hand but you get there eventually and drop off your daughter.

Now seems like a great time to go grocery shopping with tired twins, doesn't it?

How was your day?


Scylla said...

Sounds like a cluster fuck to me!! Why did we choose to do this again?

Valerie said...

Is it the warmer weather? The f-ing fours? The boys were awful, awful, awful today. Send a teenager over who wants babies, I'll clear that up right fast.

And don't go to the store, just don't. Did you?

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Misty: Because we thought it was a good idea...at the time.

Everyone's a better theoretical parent, you know.

Val: 4s are INSANE. And yes. Yes I DID go to the store. We survived.

That night I made a double batch of some of the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever made and gave them all to Caitlin's classmates. I got to have one. She's been dying for an in-school b-day celebration, since hers takes place after school is out. I finally gave in and made snacks for her. Apparently they were a huge hit!

There's never a teen around when you need to scare one out of inappropriate sexual behavior, is there?

Cousin Janet from NY said...

You have ruined everything for me now. I always thought everything you did was perfect. I guess it's nice to know, after all is said & done, you do occasionally do something that's not perfect!!! Oh & by the way I finally just got a digital camera. Can you please fly East for a few minutes & teach me how to use it???

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Janet: I am so not perfect it's not even funny. I am, actually, insane.

RE: the camera, there are a TON of websites that will teach you how to get the most out of your digital camera. Just google the brand you bought and how to whatever you want to do. Presto! A billion answers to how to shoot a better picture.

The short version is a) fill the screen (no one cares about your subject's feet - unless you're shooting shoes for a gig) b) make sure you are outside of your lens' minimal focus distance (as in, if your camera must be at least 3' away from something to focus, don't try to do macro shots with it) and c) hold still while shooting.

Be patient and practice!

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