Caitlin is upstairs in her room with her friend. They're having a 2 day sleepover and are having fun.
Eric [Downstairs in the kitchen]: Caitlin!
Eric: Did you drink my soda that I had here in the fridge?
Eric: Do you know where my soda is?
Caitlin: [Guilty silence]
Caitlin: It's underneath my pillow because we couldn't open it and we thought we'd get yelled at.
Eric retrieves the soda and returns to me shaking his head.
Caitlin: Splitter of Hairs Extraordinaire.
We now will attempt to return to Woman with a Hatchet. Some assembly may be required.