Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Die in a fire!

During one of our recent grocery story runs, Caitlin noted to me that she and the twins would be perfect for the parts of the children from A Series of Unfortunately Events.

"Emma could be Sunny, Logan can be Klaus and I can be Beatrice!" she announced happily.

"So wait," I responded with evil intent, "You want daddy and I to die in a fire* just so you can have an adventure?!"

"No! Not like that! You could...um...you could be some of the nice people we run into!" Caitlin's eyes grew wide with shock.

"You mean the people that keep being killed off in terrible ways? Those people?!" I absolutely leered at her, enjoyed her discomfort.

"No! Well...um..."

"Sorry honey, we're staying alive. No adventures for you!" And then I grinned my big Evil Mommy grin.

Because clearly if you want to have adventures, your parents have to be dead (See Harry Potter.). At a minimum, your mom has to be (See Nancy Drew.). Moms don't allow adventures.

They interfere with bedtime.

* I then spent the rest of the evening randomly whispering "Die in a fiyah!" to Eric. I'm so mean! Hee!


Tracee said...

Did you know that A Series of Unfortunate Events is the only books to totally creep my son out? seriously. and he grew up on Harry Potter and The Lord Of The Rings. what gives?

BTW~ I got a copy of AB5M, soo awesome!

Hobo Mama said...

Pretty much all the books I read growing up involved being orphaned. Anne of Green Gables, Jane Eyre, A Little Princess. I remember going to dinner one night and being very angry with my mom and not knowing why — and then I realized it was because I'd somehow cast her in the role of evil orphanage mistress. Parents can't win even if they stay alive and aren't evil!

Suburban Correspondent said...

It's true - almost all classic children's books have the kids on their own, somehow. With the exception of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn...

Pamela said...

It is a basis for American fiction, science fiction especially, that youth triumphs over all. That's why a lot of the heroes/heroines are the young newbies: Wesley Crusher in ST: TNG, Peter Parker-Spiderman, Bambi, Alice in Wonderland, the children who go to Narni, pick any Disney Princess or Prince, even the kittens & puppies from other Disney movies are going to save the day. Fortunately, most are a good deal more polite than the Punisher or Batman, the Dark Night.

alessa said...

Bwahh-ha-ha. That was a funny post. How did Eric react to your seductive whispering?

Scylla said...

It's true, we mommies refuse our children adventures if we are living.

Maybe that's because traveling cross country in an open train car with a wolf will give you fleas and hypothermia and fighting the darkest wizard that ever lived can get you killed.

Shame on us for refusing our children those kinds of opportunities.

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