During one of our recent grocery story runs, Caitlin noted to me that she and the twins would be perfect for the parts of the children from A Series of Unfortunately Events.
"Emma could be Sunny, Logan can be Klaus and I can be Beatrice!" she announced happily.
"So wait," I responded with evil intent, "You want daddy and I to die in a fire* just so you can have an adventure?!"
"No! Not like that! You could...um...you could be some of the nice people we run into!" Caitlin's eyes grew wide with shock.
"You mean the people that keep being killed off in terrible ways? Those people?!" I absolutely leered at her, enjoyed her discomfort.
"Sorry honey, we're staying alive. No adventures for you!" And then I grinned my big Evil Mommy grin.
Because clearly if you want to have adventures, your parents have to be dead (See Harry Potter.). At a minimum, your mom has to be (See Nancy Drew.). Moms don't allow adventures.
They interfere with bedtime.
* I then spent the rest of the evening randomly whispering "Die in a fiyah!" to Eric. I'm so mean! Hee!