Friday, February 05, 2010

The Futility of Floor Cleaning

I am not OCD about cleaning. I'm not even particularly crazy about cleaning (although I do have higher standards for cleanliness than the other adult living here is, I've noticed), but one must clean house if one is to survive.


The children



to kill me.

Specifically the twins. While Caitlin may make her share of messes, the twins have out stripped her in breadth and scope of sheer destructive and deliberate mess making.

What's the point in sweeping and mopping if not thirty seconds after allowing a twin into the room with some beans and rice it is all over the floor, requiring yet more sweeping and mopping? I left them alone while I went to go get my food and water in the kitchen. It's not even that far away! The dining room and kitchen are essentially the same room, but separated by the bartop/stovetop peninsula between the two.

That peninsula is what hides the worst of the twins' depravities from my eyes while I'm working in the kitchen. Only the sneaky silence tells me that Something Is Wrong.

Also, every time I turn around Logan is busy ripping my poor fuchsia apart and throwing soil all around.

Every. Time.

I know that I've mentioned the need for a dog that I can pull out of a pocket dimension to eat all of the food that gets thrown around, but I think what I really need is a straight jacket for Logan. Or a force field that a) keeps them out of the plants and b) doesn't allow food to fall to the floor.

Yeah. Get to work on that, would ya?


screamish said...

yes. for some insane reason we invited an older couple for Christmas lunch this year, and even tho it was all a bit chaotic I thought we'd gotten a grip on things until 11am when I looked under the dining room table and realized the state of the floor. yes of course we sweep up the twins' debris but i suddenly realized that there was a significant amount of dried on fossilized foodstuffs we'd missed/had subconsciously decided to ignore.

So 11am on Christmas day found me on hands and knees panicked, scrubbing the floor...

never again!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I knew *you'd* understand, Screamish! Sorry about your Xmas morning!

slow panic said...

i simply can not keep up with my family. and i so relate to being way more aware of the need to clean/for cleanliness than the other adult in the house. sigh.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Slow Panic (I like that name, btw): yeah, these people and all of their messes! Whew! I think it's time we all became rich and have robotic maids. Whaddaya think?

This whole becoming-a-drudge-in-my-own-house is not what I thought either home ownership or being a mom would be all about. When they're all older they're SO getting cleaning chores!

Hava said...

We have hardwood floors downstairs which are a blessing and a curse. A blessing because if we had carpet I'm sure it would looked trashed after all that the twins have been doing this year. A curse in that it shows dusty footprints, crumbs and drool spots everywhere. It took company coming over for me to do a good cleaning. Then we got a Shark Pocket Mop. I actually clean the floors more now because it only uses water and it is easy. Love it!
Doesnt mean our house is spotless by any means.....

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