Doctor! Doctor!

It's always interesting going to the doctor with the twins. And by "interesting", of course I mean "frustrating".

Yet again, we show up on time (Nay! Even early!) and are made to wait and wait and wait. Strangely enough, at the dentist's office, we showed up and after I grumped at the staff at the lack of an elevator to haul my twins and gear up to the second floor (No, really, I was pissed! What about the ADA laws?), I barely had time to seat my kiester into a chair before the tech showed up to get me for my cleaning. It was fast and efficient service. I was frankly amazed. They also didn't ask me the same questions that I had already filled out on the forms they requested, either.

Not so at the doctor's office.

How hard is it to print up that form, or get a screen shot or something from their files that answer all of the same questions we're asked at every single visit. Phone number? Any pets at home? Any other children? We've already answered these questions eight meeeel-yon times and considering that we were just here two months ago I shouldn't have to answer those questions again.

Call me crazy, but since all that data is already in their files and they're holding the file, I shouldn't have to waste my time, and theirs, answering questions to which they already have the answers.

Here Ends the Inefficient Doctor's Office Rant.

Sorry!

[Untwists knickers]

The twins are healthy and happy and progressing well on the growth and development charts. Even though I keep worrying (a little) about Logan being small, he's healthy and is following his own growth curve. The doc is completely unfazed or worried. It's just because Eric and I are such taaaaall people (Disclaimer: we're both under 5'7".) that I wonder why Logan is so teeny.

Oh well.

Looking at the twins, you'd think that Emma weighed more, but it's all a cheeky illusion. When we weighed them both, Emma tried to pull a fast one on us. I had left her in her diaper, which was slightly wet, and weighed Logan without his diaper because his was very wet. Since Logan (Read: Eric) was grumping that Emma always weighed more than he did, I decided to remove her diaper and weigh her again.

She does outweigh him. By one ounce.

Which might have been due to the fact that she had just nursed right before I weighed her again.

Data!

Emma:

• Height: 25" 25th-50th
• Weight: 14 lbs 15 oz 25th-30th
• Head: 16 1/2" 50th

Logan:

• Height: 25" 5th-10th
  
• Weight: 14 lbs 14 oz 10th
• Head: 17 1/4" 50th-75th

I think the peas Logan has been eating have been helping his head to bulk up!

It's a funny measurement because his head doesn't look big. I think we've discovered the Cheeky Visual Distortion Effect. If you have big cheeky cheeks like Emma, one assumes your head is larger. However, this is not necessarily the case. Logan may just have a Stealth Noggin.

After checking out his eczema and admiring their growth, the doctor pronounced them both fit as a fiddle (Really, how fit are fiddles anyway?) and left. The nurse was then left with the decidedly unpleasant needle pokey part.

Then the SCREAMING and the CRYING and eventually it was all over.

I hate needles. I hate watching my babies get shots. Eric is in charge of the holding-during-shots part and I take over the nursing and cuddling of screaming, red, pissed off babies part. Fun for the whole family!

Fortunately, they forgave us soon enough and we went gallumphing home.

Whereupon it occurred to me that Emma and Logan still don't equal one Oliver. Good thing I just whipped up some carrots and sweet potato to go with those peas. Eat up, twins!

Clockwise: Peas, carrots and sweet potatoes.

The peas were getting lonely in the freezer.

By the way, today is the very last day you can vote for Emma in the photo contest (We're currently tied for 3rd place!). Clicky!

Updated to add: Logan snarfed down the sweet potatoes, while Emma had barely a taste and decided that she'd had enough. Clearly it's up to Logan to close the distance in baby weight. Emma says she's happy sticking with breastmilk.

Also, why do I find myself making eating faces while feeding babies? And saying "Yompf!" as Logan snarfs up another spoonful? This feeding behavior thing is weird. Is it just me?

A Scientific Approach to Cat Ownership

see more crazy cat pics

You needed a smile today, didn't you?


And now, a musical interlude.


I love the markings on Sparta. If I had the cash to buy a purebred, I'd get the Bengal. Except without all of the biting. Bad pet owner, encouraging the biting!

Here's an IT review of kitties, aka cat larva.

Tell me about your favorite pet in the comments. Hippos, anyone?!

Weekly Winners III

Cuteness contest! Here are our contestants:

Logan, Caitlin and Emma.

"Pssh! Let me show you how it's really done." Emma breaks out Big Brown Eyes and Chubby Cheeks.
"Like this?" Caitlin goes for that "almost seven" look.
"Like this?" Logan gets his cute on.
"Ugh! I can't work with these amateurs! I'm outta here!"

More Weekly Winners here.

More of my Weekly Winners here.

My Life as a Musical

Today's interlude would include Dentist! with Steve Martin singing. He gets to the point at 40 seconds in. I couldn't take it after it reached 1 min 30 seconds. Ack!

I always hear the intro to the song play whenever I think about going to the dentist. I don't know why....

I put off going to the dentist for a loooong time. Long as in four years. Caitlin, on the other hand, goes every 6 months like clockwork. So far, all is good. She likes going to the dentist. I, on the other hand, dread it. As a child of the 70s it was never fun. My older sister and I used to lock ourselves in a little closet in the dentist's office and refuse to come out. Why? Because we had lots of cavities since we didn't brush regularly and we ate frickin' candy all the live long day! We ate stuff I wouldn't let Caitlin touch as a parent (Remember those Dip Sticks? A solid sugar "stick" and two packets of powdered flavored sugar to dip into it because the stick couldn't possibly be sweet enough on its own? I think the flavors were Grape and Cherry. Tell me they don't still make that stuff!)!

So yeah. Cavities. So now that I'm the parent? I make sure she brushes her teeth twice a day every day (And oh the complaints! Ungrateful wretch! Geez!). Getting cavities drilled is bloody traumatic.

At least it was for me.

In the end, after all of the horrendous scraping of built up plaque was over (Ahhhhhhhh! Arrrgh!) I was actually pronounced fit! I have one ancient filling that needs to be replaced because it's beginning to "leak" and that's it! Hooray!

I was interested to see the upgrades in dental technology, though - they do digital x-rays now. How cool is that?!

Now, however, I have the filling replacement to dread. They're gonna have to drill that sucker out, aren't they? (Maybe they use lasers now. Frickin' lasers, man!) Do they still shoot you up with Novacaine in the gums ? I hate that. It's a fear combination that can't be beat: Hatchet + needles + dentistry = Puking Fear Level! I'm a terrible role model.

Can I get a Valium with that appointment?

- - - - -

Do you remember the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs was inadvertently kidnapped by bank thieves and told to "Shut up shuttin' up"? (Two minutes and nine seconds in, for those of you without 7 minutes to watch the whole thing.)



I often feel a powerful desire to tell Caitlin this when she's so busy trying to argue about everything instead of doing what she's asked. Simple things, like going to bed. On time. Or get dressed for school. Or put her sneakers on. No, not the Crocs, it's cold and snowy outside. The sneakers. No, not the boots, it's not that snowy. No, I don't care what that other kid is wearing to school, these are your feet I'm interested in. Do it. Just do it. Now.

No.

Now.

Stop telling me you're doing it and do it.

Twenty Eight Weeks

Just the other day I was telling Heather that Logan is really quiet. Emma is busy mom-mom-momming, but Logan isn't doing much "talking" other than squees and laughter and the occasional Ah-goo. Today, however, he decided to jump in to the verbal arena and since Emma was working on mom-mom sounds, he went with the old stand-by: da-da-da.

What is up with these twins? Is it normal that they leapfrog one another developmentally? Because it's pretty funny watching it happen around here.

Logan appears to be about 1 to 2 weeks behind Emma. For example, when she was turning herself into a pretzel to get to her feet, he wasn't interested. Now, however, there are toes jammed into his mouth every chance he gets. While Emma is stepping around the house while we hold her hands, Logan isn't quite there. His feet drag a little, then a few steps, then more dragging. He's still a major flirt in public, while Emma isn't.

Oh and he likes to eat.

"Oh wow! Peas? Yum!"

"Dad, give my compliments to the chef!"

After being disinterested for a couple of weeks, he is powering down solid food again. He lunges at the spoon and waves his hands in the air excitedly as you shovel food in. You have to occasionally wrestle the spoon away from him with promises of more food, faster.

While Emma just kind of tastes it and wants to move on to other things. Like almost crawling.

"You people call this food?! Where's my agent! Peas! As if!"

She's so close! It's very cute to watch her get into Frog Position and rock back and forth while Logan "airplanes" beside her.

Did I ever officially tell you we're no longer living in Vomit Central? We aren't. Haven't been for a good two months, other than when Emma got sick seven times in one day. While we have a random wet burp, it's all good: they're keeping it down. We still go through a lot of laundry, but not as much as before. We've also cut down on baths. Not to worry, though! Now we have this:

"Splish, splash! We was takin' a baf! Early on a Saturday mornin'!"

These shots are from the first time we have ever dared to bathe them both together. They enjoyed it (much splashing the other in the face), but it definitely required two adults since they are still in the falling-over-randomly stage of development.

Chipmunk cheeks and chubby thighs. That's what little girls are made of.
"Nom nom nom. Deese hands tastes like waters! Nom!"
"Dad!" Emma whispers urgently, "Logan is eatin' his hands. I don't think he's so OK in da head."

"Whaaat? I can't help it! I tastes good."

They both still love being flipped upside down as Emma demonstrates here:

"Hmmm. This being upside-down is verrrry interesting. Now show me 'flying'."

She's been working on what I refer to as her Granny Lips face. It's part of making the "Ummm" sound, but since she doesn't have any teeth it always makes her look like a little old granny who gums her food.

"Nyah! I not old granny!"
Emma objects.

You can see a Half-Granny here:

Someone always has to mess up a group shot, don't they? I'm lookin' at you, Granny!

I get a kick out of how often people comment on the fact that the twins don't really look all that much alike. Well, they aren't identical and they are opposite sexes, so it wasn't likely that they would. I think it's the eye color that throws most people though. Now, however, I have a nice assortment of eye colors: blue, green/grey and brown. If Logan goes blond and Emma brown I'll then have a blond, brunette and red (auburn) head!

Collect all three!

Logan, Caitlin and Emma assure you that yes, indeed, they are related.

Oh yeah, there's still time to vote for Emma in the photo contest. She's in fifth place, people! Fifth!

Wordless Wednesday VI

Slugging it out for title of Most Ridiculously Cute, in this corner we have bathing twins!

First bath together.
Do not try this at home. We are trained twin wrassling professionals.

And this this corner, four week old kittens!

Tabby kitten. So cuh-yoooot! I want to squeeze her!
But not too hard!

This little guy is Heather's favorite. He has a tiny orange mustache and no tail.

Momma kitty: "Help...me! The...kittens! They're...every where!"

I'm not sure if Momma Kitty would agree with me, but I think it might be her babies. Then again, I'm not nursing them!

For more Wordless Wednesday posts, click here.

For more of my Wordless Wednesday posts, click here instead.

To the Nurse's Office!

Caitlin decided to perform a Sit In at the school nurse's office today.

She went to the office for a pair of horrible and gruesome maladies: a small cut on her hand from a pencil and being accidentally punched by a boy practicing martial arts in the hallway.

I know! Can you believe it? I know that my heart skipped a beat to think of poooooor Caitlin, sitting there, absolutely gushing blood from the wound in her hand and gripping broken ribs from a poorly aimed blow. I'm certain it would have broken my heart to envision the sadness that was Caitlin, holed up in the nurse's office, refusing to return to class.

Except that I didn't receive the call. Eric did.

The nurse called him because she absolutely refused to return to class. It was what we might as well refer to as a High Needs Day (High Needs Days: not just for nursing infants any more!) The nurse, not able? willing? to put her foot down and get Caitlin to return to the classroom, called Eric to come and deal with her. He went up to the school, informed Caitlin that she couldn't go home and applied a Grumpectomy: flipping her upside-down and shaking the grumps out, plus a little high speed spinning-in-a-circle. Cheered, she was ready to return to class, but not before the warning that this wouldn't work again.

You can see how getting a Grumpectomy in the middle of a bad day could become habit forming. Daddy as a controlled substance. Use sparingly.

After school we had the discussion about how the nurse's office is neither a spa nor a place to hole up when the rigors of first grade get one down. Then we gave her the rah-rah speech about making friends. Again.

All I could think of was that back in my day, you would have to have been spewing bodily fluids at a prodigious rate to hang out in the nurse's office.

Pencil wounds? Accidental punches?! Psshaw!

We used to play Belt Tag: a game involving whipping one another across the playground with belts. I ask you this: What the hell we were thinking?!

Me? I don't know. We were in elementary school in New York. It made sense at the time and at least we weren't having rock fights on the playground.

We saved those for after school.

To All The Blogs I've Loved Before...

I have a little bit of bloggy goodness to give away!

I was gifted with these awards (by Missy, Kim and Jennifer) and need to give them away. I'm certain I'm supposed to do 10 of each, but I'm afraid that would take far too long. Instead, I'm doing it Myyyyyyy Waaaaaaaaay!

To Jennifer, Julie, Ali, Val, Misty, Suburban Correspondent (I don't actually know your name!), Missy, Swistle, Amy, and Jenny: I love your blogs, think you are all terribly clever and that your blogs are Most Excellent.

Feel free to choose one or more (Let's face it, I'd just select you for one of the other ones anyway.) of the following badges for your consumption. If you already have all three (Which I suspect some of you might.), consider yourself inducted into the Order of the Hatchet. It was a "military order of knighthood for women" back in the Middle Ages. Went out when all of the knights died off. I think I shall have to create a badge and resurrect it, but that will have to be another night because this post is taking an amazingly long time to write!



Terribly sorry they aren't bon-bons I can send you electronically as in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but these are much less likely to stick to your hips. Besides, some of you complained about just having to see the muffin/scone/cake recipes that I've salivated about electronically. So I imagine the uproar related to actually receiving chocolates (or muffins or scones) would be that much worse.

Some of the entries that I really enjoyed:

1. Jennifer wrote about the woman that raised her. Intense. "Enjoyed" isn't really the right word for it. This was a powerful piece of writing and I go back every single day for more.
2. Julie was just recently talking about Skin Deep and covered pretty much everything I was thinking about related to natural skin care products and how important it is to know what's safe to use. Also? She's a gardener and tests her plants for drought tolerance just like I do. Great minds and all that, dontcha know.
3. Ali makes me laugh and ache for her at the same time. One word: colic.
4. Val makes me laugh aloud when she recounts her conversations with her sons. She also made me cry for her psycho kitty. She also just happens to be one of my corporeal best friends. (Suggesting that the rest of you don't exist in "real life" seems a bit odd.)
5. Misty and I have the same daughter. Misty is also one of my best friends. I added her to my collection of very tall women three or four years ago. Apparently tall women like their short women friends strange.
6. Suburban Correspondent's tales of woe (life with a 14 year old daughter) terrify me since I think I'm already living that life with my almost 7 year old. She also gives great advice on how to deal with sibling rivalry.
7. Missy I can rely on for parenting advice among other things. It might be possible that we, too, share a daughter.
8. Jenny, The Bloggess, cracks me up and forces me to read her conversations with her husband out loud to Eric. Also? The ninjas.
9. Swistle. What can I tell you? She writes so well about so many things and cuts right to the heart of the matter.
10. Amy writes about all the green things I'd like to do or may be currently working on. She's green. She's crunchy. And I'm going to meet her (and Julie!) in person tomorrow. Eeee!
    

Thanks ladies! You're 10 of the reasons I can't make it to bed early. You're also one of the reasons the twins like to "type" on the computer. Mommy does it, so it must be fun!

You make being trapped (breastfeeding) under twins fun.

Growing Challenge: Schrodinger's Cat Edition

One of the things I love best about gardening is the fact that there's always something new to learn. What is compost? What plant can go in that dry, yet shady spot? What's that bird at my feeder?

Often that learning takes the form of what not to do when gardening.

One of the inevitable questions related to gardening comes at the end of the season: do you take those plants in or leave them out? If they're perennials and you leave them out in their pots, will they survive the winter? Maybe. But if you take them inside and leave them in your garage, where chances are it is dead certain that you'll forget to water them for months at a time (Face it, you're so sleep deprived that even remembering you have plants in the garage is tough enough.). Will they survive?

Six trays on the floor, surely there aren't many more?

Looks bad, doesn't it?

Fifteen trays of plants on the rack. Maybe I should have left them out back?

Is it possible that those on the rack look worse?

These are all perennial flowers (~369) that I grew to sell last year, but got too pregnant to continue going to market, so they sat in my backyard until the first snowfall. At which time I made Eric bring them all in and then we stuck them in the garage where they've been lurking ever since. It is a testament to the toughness of xeric plants that any of them are alive.

Here are a few of the survivors:

Creeping Jenny

An anemic looking Heuchera 'Purple Palace' .

Sempervivums living up to their name: Always living.

Also known as Hens and Chicks for the reason shown above. I love how the one on the right has made a perfect ring of "chicks".

They are now all outside, sitting in my raised bed, still in their pots. They have been watered and picked over a bit, just to get rid of all of the autumn leaves and sticks. I've tossed a frost blanket over them and will give them a few weeks to see who survives my "test" of plant toughness and who doesn't. If I am left with a bunch of perennials again this year at the end of the season, I plan on leaving them all outside, in the raised bed and see how they fare.

Scientific? Not hardly. Interesting though!

Oh and all of these plants? I raised from seed organically.

- - - - -

We had a family meeting (Well, those of us that could talk had a meeting. The other two were just Yes Men, agreeing to whatever we thought up. Don't you just hate people like that at meetings? Clearly they're just in it for the doughnuts breastmilk.) and talked about just what plants we should grow in our garden this year as our personal part of the growing challenge and we came up with a list of 19 different plants. Some are automatic, since I'm already growing them to sell. The others will take a little more work, since I'll have to set aside time to get them started and space in my raised beds.

Caitlin enthusiastically entitled it: What we'd like to grow this year.

1. Tomatoes: cherry (Snow White), beefsteak (Black Krim), paste (Black Plum)
2. Pumpkin (Caitlin's choice)
3. Bell peppers (Caitlin's choice)
4. Watermelon (Caitlin's choice)
5. Strawberries
6. Raspberries
7. Carrots
8. Spinach
9. Lettuce
10. Basil (Genovese, Globe, Fino Verde for certain. Possibly a purple one since they're so pretty.)
    
11. Green onions
12. Blueberries
13. Peas: Snap, Snow and Shelling
14. Green beans (Caitlin's choice)
15. Cucumber
16. Zucchini (Just one plant will do! Maybe two. I know all about how crazy zucchini plants get.)
17. Parsley
18. Cilantro
19. Garlic
    

I am not so certain we'll be able to do it all this year, but we'll see how it goes.

Already growing in the yard are asparagus (ignored for years, looks like they might be sprouting edible sized spears this year), oregano, French thyme, Borg strawberry plants and the remains of a blueberry shrub. Its mate suffocated under the mess of tomato plants from last summer, poor thing.

Out of that list of plants, I've actually grown all but pumpkins. I haven't necessarily grown the rest of them successfully, but I've tried to grow them in the past. Maybe I'll have more luck this year. I've killed so many different plants in my time that it's humbling.

Then again, I've learned a lot.

Twenty Seven Weeks

Now with hearts and rainbows!

Sorry about yesterday's post. On to the lighter side! With photos of babies to wash the darkness from your brain! Yes! Let's!

So the twins are cute and sweet and filled with light and naps, but they still don't sleep through the night. We seem to be getting 4 hour stretches out of Logan now, but only after a little Cry It Out therapy. As a testament to how tired I am, when he starts crying, I'm too tired to move and asleep enough that it doesn't bother me as much or jerk me into the claws bared, ready to fight off sabertooth cats position. Poor babies.

Second children: voted most likely to be eaten by sabertooth cats due to lax parenting.

Fortunately, we don't live with any of those types of cats. Instead we live with the type that put up with all of the grabbing and baby drool and being shoved into infant mouths.

Logan and Emma: "Kitty!"

And that sit on your face in revenge for all of the above.

"Ahhh! Help! Cat butt!"

Crisis averted. Domino sits down next to Logan's face and not on it.

"You knew he was gonna do that, didn't you, Mom? And you haaaaad to photograph it instead of save me, didn't you?"
Logan wants you to know that laughing at his misfortune only encourages his mom.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Not my face!"

Emma would like to remind you of the photo contest and that you should be voting for her on it. Hop to it! Pretty please? Clicky!

In other news, Caitlin is still the best thing ever as far as the twins are concerned. She makes them laugh just by walking into the room and they go crazy if she starts to sing and dance and caper about like a fool or spin like a whirling dervish.

Still no teeth in sight, although they are still chewing on everything like mad. We gave them cold carrots which they both really liked and which worked really well except for all of the dropping involved. Lots of gnawing, then dropping, then cleaning of carrots, then more chewing. I swear we cleaned a small section of floor in the dining room via this method. I do not recommend it.

"Wassup, doc?" Emma updates Bugs Bunny's famous line.

"Is my carrot. You get you own. Maybe you could nom on my feeties a little. Maybe."

Emma has been working on new sounds recently. Foremost among them: umm and maaa. She sometimes sounds as if she's saying mom-mom or Emma, but I know she's not.

Well, except that she's my child and is brilliant, so it's very possible that she is!

Both of them still look at the cats when they walk into the room and kind of gargle out something that sounds like kig-gee! So you tell me, is that a proto-sound for kitty? I don't know, but being delusional, I'll pretend that it is. I'll let you know if kitty is their first word as we're projecting it to be.

Emma is still not crawling yet, but OMG! she's so close. She is up on her hands and knees and has her knees under her and rocks back and forth. Occasionally, she launches herself at a toy and winds up face down right in front of it. Effective locomotion? Not really, but it does get her close to the toy, which is all she cares about. Logan says that he's just fine sitting here and if she's so excited about crawling, let her bring him back some toys while she's out, OK?

Two weeks ago, on Spring Break, we took the twins for their very first trip to the zoo with Sara and the girls and I almost forgot to tell you about it! However, since you need a long string of happy, pretty and fluffy, here are some of the highlights of our visit.

We saw cool and unusual birds like this:

Canada goose.

What?! Not unusual enough? OK, what about this:

Nice hairdo! Punk isn't dead!

Emma got to see her first giraffe, that wasn't embroidered on one of her outfits.

"What giraffe? I don't see no giraffe!"

That giraffe, Emma.
Giraffe: "Mmmm...baby!"

We saw the hyenas who weren't laughing, but instead were planning lunch.

"Children under glass. My faaavorite!"

Caitlin got to play big sister to Hazel. Good thing it wasn't a test or she'd have failed. She dropped Hazel's hand so many times that Hazel would have been eaten by the hyenas if we'd let Caitlin be in charge.

Caitlin: "Look, Hazel, predators! Bet they think you and I look like snacks!"
Hazel: "Caitlin, you're so cool -- What?!"

We saw our family totem animal: the hippo. You know, their lips are a lot floppier than I would have thought. This big male was hoovering up the hay that was strewn about on the ground. Gotta keep up his boyish figure, you know.

Hippo sized.

I took the opportunity to catch some rays and do a self portrait.

"Ahhhh, sunlight!"

We ran into a number of the Zoo Pigeons. Here's a bold one.

Struttin' his stuff.

Shakin' his tail feathers.

Eric and Logan were also with us, in case you were wondering. As a matter of fact, Logan "helped" me take photographs, which is one reason why there aren't more.

Logan's favorite blanket. Induces sleep in moments. OK, maybe it's my favorite blanket.

Caitlin and Hazel went on a carousel ride. Caitlin chose the black panther. The big cats go faster, you know.

Riding cats.

All was fine until Caitlin's mount noticed the giraffe ahead of it and then it took off!

Caitlin holding on for dear life.

Hazel, being risk-averse, sat with Sara on the peacock "sofa".

"Wheeeeee!"

While they rode, I took the opportunity to sneak a shot of Katie who was happily chewing on a toy.

Nom, nom, nom.

And it was good.

For your final brain rinse, I present you with this:

Not to be outdone by her elder sister in the Cuteness in a Pot series, Emma leaps into the fray.

"Oh, so now I have to get in the pot?"

"Must...taste...pot! I am a baby, after all."

"Bleah!" Notices me laughing and shooting away. "You're mocking me, aren't you?"*
Sorry Emma. Mommy can't help herself.

All better now, yes? Yes!


* Line from A Bug's Life.