What's up with this weather? Why do rainy days make me feel so sad?
Images like this don't really help either:
I miss my mom.
I miss my dad.
I miss my Caitlin.
It breaks my heart to know that he doesn't remember us kids anymore if we're not right there in the room with him. Mom said that he really likes Caitlin and kept telling mom how beautiful and smart she was and then Caitlin faded from his memory like a mirage, right after she left. His very first grandchild.
Just like that, she's gone.
I'm gone. He doesn't remember Eric or Matt, Dawn's new husband, at all. It's as if we're all ghosts drifting up out of the mists: we float into view and then away again. I don't know how much he remembers about me when I talk to him on the phone because he doesn't stay on for long and he talks a pretty good game, never getting into specifics.
Rainy days are hard for me. I dwell on sad thoughts. I'm a dweller.
Hopefully in the morning this melancholy will be gone, not unlike my dad's memory.