Friday, October 27, 2006

First love

Can someone tell me what is wrong with my brain?

For the last several nights I've been dreaming about long lost loves of mine. When I say "long" I really mean it: one was a crush I had on Frank A. in elementary school. I haven't seen him since I was...oh...twelve. Can you tell me why I'm dreaming about him now?

Whenever I have dreams like this, Eric doesn't exist in those worlds. Caitlin usually doesn't either. It's as if they get dropped off in some pocket dimension in my memory, where I can pick them up later. Like for that next nightmare about Caitlin being stolen or Eric leaving me for my ex-best friend. You know those latter dreams? Those are the ones where I wake up angry at Eric for betraying me with someone he never really even liked, much less found attractive!

My subconscious, it's wacky!

Somehow, though, it's perfectly OK for me to dream about my childhood crushes and my last boyfriend before Eric. He even teases me about how I've run off with T in my dreams. Confident? Feh!

These dreams always seem to start up as it gets darker and darker. In the depths of winter, I dream of old flames and my brain comes up with new and exciting versions of What Might Have Been. Sometimes, Eric and Caitlin do exist and I'm leaving them for the remodeled version of my ex. What's up with that? It's never your ex as you last saw them, it's as if they get refurbished in your dreams. They've grown up a little more (or in the case of my elementary school crushes, John M., Frank A., and Ricky P., grown up entirely) and have worked out all of those annoying habits they had previously. They've also gotten better looking. Whoo-ee!

Do you dream about long lost loves/crushes? What's your trigger?

5 comments:

UnderemployedNama said...

I think you need to be writing some fiction. Your subconscious is supplying all kinds of material!

Liz said...

Never. But there's a couple of them I wouldn't mind seeing how they turned out!

I have been in a weird, vivid dream phase lately though. I blame it on peri-menopause!

The Observer said...

Very rarely, and when I do it's more amorphous, more about intimacy than anything physical or some sort of storyline . . .

I have, however, dreamed that I was put in front of a computer and asked to choose my dream for the night. I was so indecisive I never got to choose.

Valerie said...

I've dreamt of an ex in the last 6 months or so but I think it's cause we're friends now.

I dreamt Ed bought me a sheep last night. I think it was meant to get me spinning, but something was going on cause a group of folks were doing some kind of hoojibooji ritualized something over it, had shorn it (not that close though) and I was told it might have fleas which was much worse in the dream than I think it would be in real life. Unless this was supposed to be a house sheep, maybe?

Not sure what that was about.... er... what was the topic again?

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Cool, Val! Sheep...I'm sure Freud has something to say about that.

Dreams are very funny places. Of course, ex-es are pretty funny people to dream about, as are old crushes. I mean, why would my brain pick out Frankie for me to chase around in a dream?

Travis, I understand, but the kid from elementary school? Is Caitlin going to be dreaming about Corben (who she swears she's going to marry) when she's 30+ years old?

BTW, we are SO waiting to tease her about marrying him when she's old enough to marry! Parent's Revenge!

Welcome, Liz!

Nana, don't get me started being an author! The blogging thing is bad enough! Besides, a long time ago, in my youth (hah!), I wanted to be a writer. And a teacher. And a veterinarian. I don't know if I have enough lives to be all of those!

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