Saturday, March 08, 2008

2 out of 3 children say: Ah-choo!

Welcome to Hatchet's House of Suck! Where you, too, can get a 100+ degree fever and hang out!

Logan is sick. We noticed right away last night when he didn't let us sleep AT ALL. And felt pretty warm. He was like a little hot water bottle baby. Mmm. Warm!

What is it with kids getting sick at night and on the weekends?

His burning desire to see the inside of an emergency clinic was thwarted by early morning hours at our pediatrician's office and because he never spiked a temperature over 101.5. Clearly his puny efforts (100.4) weren't enough.

Logan however, thinks he's dying. He has a Man Cold.

He even started planning out his tiny will.

"I wants to be berrid wif mah blankie an' mah yewwow puppy and sum chew toys. Like a Pharoah Kingy-thingy. I coulda been A KING! Cut down in mah yoof. Dis a tragiddy of epic 'portions!"

Emma failed to be sympathetic. "Whatchu 'plainin' 'bout? I gotted a cold when Ah was only a week old! Dis is nuffinks!"

Logan, in between moaning and slamming his head into my collarbone, cut her out of his will, "Jus' for dat you get nuffinks! Nuffinks for you! I take all my toys wif me! An' you be sorry when I all gone." Cough cough. Moan.

"I sorry. You mus' be really sick." Pat, pat, pat. "Ya big baby."


jennifer h said...

You may just be the funniest person I know. Or don't know, since I haven't actually met you.

My god, woman! You should have a thousand readers a day. We need to get you more traffic.

I love Logan's will. Seriously funny stuff.

Red Flashlight said...

Pooor pooooor little bunny.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Hee! Jennifer, you make me blush. I'd love to have more traffic. The question is how!

All the world must fall under my sway! I will rule the internets with a firm and benevolent dictatorial hand. Or something like that. *wink*

Red: Logan says, "T'ank oo!"

Missy said...

All bow down to the MIGHTY HATCHET!!

Sick baby is the worst thing in the world to me.

Here's hopin' the germs exit quickly.

Kim said...

Aren't all men the same? Glad to know Logan's following along!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Isn't it terrible, though? I would have thought MY son would be different!

I'm hoping this isn't a Sign of Things To Come. Toilet seat lids being left caps worn indoors AND backwards....


Hava said...

Poor little Logan. I hope he is feeling up to snuff soon. At the NICU there is a saying "Wimpy white boys" meaning they aren't as hearty as girls(or other races for that fact).

We like to say that Loen will end up the brains while Derby will be the brawn. It sounds like Emma and Logan might be the same.

Congrats your little ones are looking HUGE!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Thanks Hava!

Poor Logan! You'd think 1/4 Jamaican blood would do SOMETHING for the wimpy factor! Emma seems to be ahead of him physically, so I'm not sure if she's willing to hand over the brawn title yet. : )

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

The empathy your daughter exhibits is somewhat less than breathtaking. Have fun!

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