There's another reason I stay awake too long at night: the thinking.
Late at night, when everyone else is asleep and I can do whatever I want, read whatever I want - uninterrupted - a funny thing happens.
I can think.
"Oh, you think all the time!" You say derisively.
Not like this. The thinking I'm referring to is when you read something and it lights up your brain and then you make a connection to something else and another thing and again, then off to a video and this other place and suddenly you get this golden glow in your mind. As if you are building a vast web and can suddenly see the interconnectedness of yourself and the world around you. How if you do this, then that will have an affect on that.
Suddenly, your monkeysphere gets bigger.
And that feeling? That your brain is kicking into high gear and is humming along, firing on all cylinders? That feeling is addictive. It's also very fragile and as soon as a twin wakes up?
It shatters.
2 comments:
I love the photos on your site, and this post reminds me so much of me!!! I spend so much of my sacred "me time" when the children are sleeping just getting my mind all worked up into a frenzy. About how to make the world a better place. About how to live authentically, sustainably, happily. About lead in toys and pesticides in our water supply. And then I see all those connection you mentioned and fixing things one little bit at a time seems so much more important than it did before I thought about things that way. Whew. It's exhausting, isn't it?
Thanks for the linky love and stop by again soon!
:) Julie
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Thanks Julie!
I think there's something about motherhood. Perhaps the abrupt shift to no longer just thinking about yourself and having to focus on the needs of someone else. Suddenly you're thinking about the future A LOT and when the future doesn't look so bright, you start thinking about ways to protect your children more.
Thus the crazy late night thinking.
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