Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Hatchet's Day Spa

Hey! You!

Wanna lose weight and gain muscle? Would you like to get a nice golden tan? Do you want to get in touch with Nature (And have Nature get in touch with you!)? Are you tired of riding that exercycle to no where? Lifting those dumb dumbbells?

Then join me at Hatchet's Day Spa!

Just the place to get in shape and make a difference in your community.

Surrrre some people call it (Insert sarcastic eye roll and double quote rabbit ear fingers here -->) "Farming", but where else can you muscle up, slim down, commune with nature (Where sometimes "commune" means "be eaten alive by mosquitos"), eat what you're working on and get a tan?

Get handy with a shovel! Dig some holes. Move some compost. Plant a few hundred plants!

Need a cardiovascular workout? Run planting equipment from one end of the field to the other!
Interested in strength training? Haul loads of compost or water here and there!
Looking for some quiet time and a chance to meditate? Pull some weeds!

Just don't forget your bug spray and your sun block!

Manicures and pedicures not available. Get used to the way a Dirt-i-cure looks on your hands and feet. Learn which lotions really work on softening up chapped and callused hands. Get comfortable being sweaty and dirty and make showering really worthwhile.

Come on down and get dir-taaaaay!

Hmmm....Perhaps I should rename myself Woman with a Shovel?


Valerie said...

Indeed! :)

Eric said...

I for one can vouch for the incredible effectiveness of the Hatchet Day Spa. I used to be a 98 pound weakling, but after moving 12,000 pounds of dirt (not a typo. TWELVE THOUSAND POUNDS!!!) for her raised beds I'm a ripped 155.


Missy said...

I think you need to develop an infomercial,complete with the obligatory before and after pictures, personal testimonies and all that good stuff. You could have a goldmine on your hands!

Jennifer H said...

Eric is funny. It's good to have testimonials for your spa when you're trying to attract new workers. I mean, customers.

I so need your, uh, spa. A week or two of days spent doing that kind of work would probably help me get a good start on a weight loss program...But since I spent every summer as a kid weeding our garden? Could I have another job, please?

Janet from New York said...

At the end of last summer I swore I would not have another vegetable garden 'next year' (read this year)
cuz I work so long hours 7 days a week that my love for working in the garden became still another thing I stressed about because I had no time to do it so I felt huge
guilt as well as stress. Someone suggested maybe just put in a few plants this year, rather than 5 dozen tomatos, plus dozens of other vegs. So I did. Only 8 very promising tomato plants - 4 different kinds. One of them is the one my mom saw in a magazine that claims we will have hundreds of HUGE tomatos on a plant that is INCREDIBLY BIG & TALL. I promise I'll report back on this. But my point is that I am so loving sitting in the dirt & getting all muddy & dirty & really INTO IT as we used to say in the 60's. And I love the dirticure label. That is what we women of vegetable will be sporting this summer. Love to all
Janet from NY, wearing a lovely dirticure.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Jennifer: Sure thing! Come on down!

Besides, even weeding can be fun if you have sassy women to chat with while doing it. We have LOTS of planting that still needs to be done. Mostly because nothing says, "We're overwhelmed!" than two women with six children starting a farm.

To make matters worse, we picked up some seed potatoes, pumpkin and squash starts from a farmer friend of ours who had tons extra. Eek!

Janet: gardening is therapeutic. Ask anyone. What's the name of your fab tomato?

Missy: I just need to take time to get in front of a mirror for my own photo testimonial.

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