Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Toadally Squeamish

Got another toad today!

Still couldn't touch it.

You know, it's funny: I don't consider myself very girlish most of the time but when it come to the bugs and toads issue, I'm a complete wimp. I cannot make myself hold one or touch one.

I had a Daddy Longlegs crawling on me yesterday, freaked out and whacked it off of me. I think I turned it into a Daddy Seven Legs. Sorry Mr. Spider! Bleaaargh!

Today, out at the farm, Heather found another toad for me. She picked him up (I think this one is a male because it squeaked. The other one never made a single sound. BTW, she's still alive and hanging out in my yard. That, however is another story.) while he peed frantically, trying to convince her to let him go, she let her kids hold it and then popped it into the Bug Box for me to take home. My other toad, she needs a friend! All the while, I marveled over how easy it was for her to hold it and then laughed semi-hysterically when it lunged in my general direction.

Ack! Eeek! Ewww!

Not so brave around the squishy things in life, am I?

Well, as I was driving away, with the toad in Bug Box, sitting on the passenger side floor of the car, I suddenly figured that I should prop the box up so it didn't fall over and let the toad out. At that very moment, the toad gave a huge Heave! and forced its way out of the box.

The toad was loose in my car.

As the semi-hysterical laughter bubbled up in my throat, I considered my options:
  1. Stop the car, get out and get Heather to get the toad. Nah. Too wimpy.
  2. Stop the car, get out and get the toad myself. No waaaaay.
  3. Drive home, carefully, and get Eric to get the toad. Sounded good, so that's what I did.
Did I mention that I had sudden vision of getting in a car accident on the way home and having headlines reel across the TV screen:

Toad Causes Six Car Pile Up
Woman Crashes Car, Blames Toad: "It Touched Me!", she screamed.
Toad 1, Hatchet 0

You get the idea.

Well, I was almost home. I'd been listening to the toad shuffle around and squeak underneath the passenger seat. I kept hoping it would remain on that side of the car because it would get really messy really fast if it decided to crawl under my feet. At the last turn, I heard a shuffling noise, looked down, and there was the toad, looking up at me from its position in the door pocket.

I have to tell you, I screamed in, yes, semi-hysterical laughter. OK, maybe it was hysterical. You'll never know!

I mentally willed that sucker to not touch me! and somehow, it knew better than to jump out of that pocket and into my lap. Instead, it jumped under my seat. I consider the fact that I didn't floor it the rest of the way home an incredible display of Iron Will. Be amazed!

Upon entering the garage, I called Eric on the cell phone and asked him to come rescue me.

"The toad! The toad is loose in my car! Come get it!"

He laughed at me, but you know what? He came and got it and that's what really matters.

Then he released it out by the pond in back. Hopefully it will find Bouncer and they'll hit it off. I wish them lots of Toad Luck.

They'd just better not touch me!

7 comments:

BigChunkySoul said...

That little story just made my day. Sorry for your freaky experience, but I have to say, it cracked me up. :-)

Cheers (you need a cocktail to settle your nerves!),

Cynthia

Scylla said...

Oh the funnies!!

I have felt that way with spiders. One jumped at me from the dash and I almost drove into a ditch.

Madge said...

i would have been freaking out in the car, worried it was going to hop under the brake and get squished...

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Madge: that's exactly what I was worried about. I was hoping it would stay away from me and my busy feet. Fortunately for all involved, it did!

Scylla: See? Spiders = Scary!

BCS: I toadally did! Mojitos by Eric. Hah! Glad I gave you a good laugh, though.

Jennifer H said...

Toads freak. me. out. Frogs are better than toads.

Eric is a good man.

kristi said...

YUCK, I would have done the same thing!! LOL!!

Kimberly said...

Ha! That's truly excellent.

Toads I'm OK with, but I totally hear you on the spiders. ::shudders::

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