Sunday, August 03, 2008

When did my Granola become Crunchy?

For that matter, when did I become Granola?!

My kid sister and I were chatting the other day and she mentioned that she was Chewy Granola while I was Crunchy Granola. It was a comment that gave me pause.

I paused. I thought. I wondered.

How and when the heck did I turn out so Crunchy? Isn't being crunchy for other folks? Folks with dreads in their hair, tie-dye t-shirts, sarongs and Birkenstocks? What happened to the girl from The City? The one with her dad's old leather jacket? Who walked with a swaggering don't-mess-with-me bounce?*

Kicked to the curb, I guess.

Now I'm Suburbia.

Dare I say it...?

Domesticated.


I bloody well made yogurt the other day! (Well, OK, Eric made it, but I started the whole thing by pointing out how Julie, Melinda and Amy said it was easy and I sterilized the equipment. I would have done it, but there were twins to be wrangled.) I've used a crock pot! I bake! I garden extensively! I'm cloth diapering the twins! I made my own napkins!** I wear Teva sandals and find them comfortable!

Holy crap! I'm a homesteader! (Not like the Pioneer Woman, of course. She actually is a homesteader. With cattle and everything!)

Aieee!

Next thing you know I'll be talking about canning with glee!

See, first it's all about being Green and environmentally conscious. Oh yeaaaaah. They suck you in with the whole "Let's save the Earth!" schtick. Then there was the composting and gardening fever, which I inherited from my folks (I blame my mother.). Next thing I knew, I was tripping down the foodie path tra-la-la-laing which led to lots of home cooking which inevitably led to Dances with Bacteria. I'm thinking about making mozzarella for crying out loud! For homemade pizza (Tomatoes, fresh basil and mozzarella with a drizzle of olive oil, sea salt and pepper. Imagine how yummy that will be!) and caprese salads.

And I...I...I think it will be fun!

Stop me! Stop me before I raise some chickens or something!




* Yet who somehow never had a New York accent and actually hated growing up in the city. I'm a conundrum!
** No quilting or knitting, though. Those people are just crazy! Just kidding, Ellen! Just kidding, Val! I'm just not talented that way.

10 comments:

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Where did you grow up?

And don't worry - gardening and raising livestock are too separate obsessions. Sort of like knitting and crocheting - you don't have to do both. But if you do think about chickens, read "The Egg and I" first.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

SC: Queens, NY.

Ooh! A book! Is it pro-chicken or anti-chicken? I do like eggs and awful lot. Mmmm...creme brulee!

Valerie said...

Oh you are totally going to do chickens before it is all over with! I would lay money down. I'm thinking of chickens myself...

(Though I've always self-identified towards the crunchy end of the spectrum myself.)

Jennifer H said...

My money's on you if there's a homesteading showdown between you and Pioneer Woman. I think you do the real heavy lifting. So there.

Scylla said...

I crochet, does that make me uber domestic, or is it my mixer?

My granola is still chewy, as is yours, IMHO.

I know some crunchy granolas, you don't fit the bill.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Squeakes: I've always thought of you as crunchy. Maybe it was the jean shorts with clouds. Maybe it was the Liberal Arts degree. But always crunchier than me! : )

Jennifer: Thanks! You know she uses a twang when she writes, right? I don't HAVE a twang! Aren't they required for homesteaders?

Misty: See? To you, I'm NOT crunchy. I think there must be a spectrum. Anyone that is generally "chewy" thinks everyone else is "crunchier" than they are. Unless they know some REALLY crunchy ones. Then, we reset.

Good grief, I want some trail mix now!

Ali said...

I have nothing to add but I did laugh. That counts for something, right?

Red Flashlight said...

Neither crunchy nor chewy, I am chopped granola in a Cuisinart with protein powder and dried fruit. I am granola protein bars!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Ali: I'll take a laugh.

Red: Protein bars? Are you saying that you're MORE FILLING?! Are you callin' me fluffy? *eyebrow raise*

Cousin Janet from NY said...

I am SO EXCITED that you mentioned
Pioneer Woman cuz hers is the only
website I go to for FUN besides yours & if I'm not mistaken you visit her because I told you about her quite some time ago cuz I just KNEW you'd love her too. Like you,
she has fabulous kids, she's a fabulous cook, a fabulous photographer, gardener, etc. I have made many of her recipes which
TO DIE FOR. I loved the pictures of your daytrip. Spoke to Grammy the other day & she sounded quite happy but exhausted from all those grandchildren. I was just plain envious. Love to all. Cousin Janet from New York

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