Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hurtling towards 40

Litany of complaints:
  1. What the hell?! Wrinkles? (Yeah, I know some of you are going to wish bad things upon me for complaining about this, but it's my midlife crisis! So nyah!)
  2. Gray hair getting grayer.
  3. I now have a marsupial pouch where I used to have a belly. Damn those 65 lbs! OK, it was a two-for-one deal, so I guess there'd be fallout, but damn!
  4. My eyeballs are getting weirder and weirder. I found myself stretching my arms out to see a printed page more clearly - like my mother! But only for my left eye. WTF?!
  5. My foot hurts. Why is there a bruise on my instep? Is it because I wore out my old shoes or is this some strange new foot malady?
  6. My jaw aches some mornings as soon as I wake up. Am I grinding my teeth in my sleep? Why am I trying to rescue Robert Downey Jr. in my dreams, anyway?
  7. My house is may be a wreck, but by god! I have fresh bread to eat every day!
  8. Weight goes on and does not want to come off without serious applications of exercise.
  9. Seven year olds can be big ole stinkers.
  10. All babies, all the time.

Am I having a midlife crisis? Because I'm planning on living to 100, so this is a decade early, as far as I am concerned. Somehow, though, forty is really bugging me. It's got that whole significant birthday thing going on, with it's nasty little zero at the end of the number. I don't feel like I have anything to show for it.

No job. No career. My farm thing seems to have gone up in smoke. My friends are either scattered or incredibly busy.

I need to get out more.

I just spent a few minutes re-reading material I'd written in late September 2007 (right before the twins were born) and damn! I was funny! So it's nice to know that I can make myself laugh even now.

Maybe I should write more, although it's tough when you feel like all you want to do is complain. I don't want to be Whiney Hatchet all the time.

I'll be 40 (FORTEEEE!) on Saturday and had a meltdown about it last week. The only way out of it is to have an abrupt halt to all further aging, but that doesn't jibe well with my plans on being a centigenarian.

So. Any words of wisdom?


Caution Flag said...

I thought 40 was a tough bday. Now I'm closing in on 50 and it's not much better!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

You are clenching your jaw in your sleep. Get a nightguard, or you will develop cracks that will necessitate crowns!

40 freaked me out only because I realized that 50 was real. Up til then I never really understood that someday I would be 50.

Missy said...

I like denial myself. It is a lovely place to visit. Stay as long as you need to.

Hava said...

NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT?? Tadd and I often refer to your site when it comes to all the cooking and gardening wondering how we can ever complain about how busy we are when you guys are having homemade bagels AND have 3 kids!
In regards to the foot it sounds like a Lego injury. Did you perhaps step on a stray lego, Barbie hand or wooden block? Those have all resulted in foot injuries in my land!

alessa said...

I second the bite guard. My older sister broke a tooth eating STORE BOUGHT WHITE BREAD after ignoring her nite-time bruxing.

I have a bite guard now, because I was in danger of doing my teeth real harm from clenching them all night long.

And, being a mere year and a bit behind you, I'm planning on a mid-life crisis trip to somewhere foreign to celebrate the big 4-0. I'd better get to saving my pennies.

Cousin Janet in New York said...

OK first of all sorry I rushed 40 for you, thinking today was your birthday & sending you a Happy Birthday email. Enjoy your last 2 days in your 30's. 40 doesn't sound bad at all, to someone who is in the latter half of 57. I'm with HAVA in saying "Nothing to show for it?" You have so much to show for it. I think you can do ANYTHING & that there's nothing you don't do INCREDIBLY! So be happy you're arriving at 40 with SO MUCH to show for it!

Solanaceae said...

We're all entitled to a little wine oooppps I mean whining (lol) every now and then. You really should get the jaw/teeth issue addressed. I've noticed that this long, cold, sunless winter has left me feeling less than jovial myself. I heard a rumor that sunshine is on the way and really who can resist sunshine? 40 is only a number, at least that is what I keep telling myself as I watch the years slip away too quickly for comfort. We make our own happiness in this life ... go find yours! Cheers to you!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I have no idea what I will do about 50. Or feel about it, more to the point. Forty is just feeling tough. Watch me hit 41 in stride, though!

SC: I don't always clench my jaw, just when I'm stressed out. And apparently trying to rescue the unrescuable.

Missy: No, I totally admit to my years. It's not the years that bother me so much as the feeling that I've missed something big.

Hava: Um...I'm an overachiever? Possibly insane? I really like having a goal other than keeping children alive at the end of the day?

Mostly, I am whining out loud about the stuff I CAN talk about. There's a bunch of other stuff that adds up that I can't talk about. The gardening and cooking, etc, are my outlet. My seasonal sadness will pass and then I'll be all crazy in the yard again.

And you can totally complain about your life! You've got twins! Aiee!

Alessa: save up many pennies and TAKE ME WITH YOU! I swear, I'll be good! : )

Janet: I'm working on changing my mindset!!

Solanaceae: I'm looking for happiness at the bottom of a loaf of bread. : )

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