Is there a disease going on at elementary school that I missed the memo on?
It's as if being disrespectful is a disease. As if they go to school, see what the other kids are doing (and who knows where it started) and then decide to try those attitudes on for size. At home.
You know how you take your kid to school healthy and you see That Kid being dropped off who's sniffling and coughing and you have a bad feeling? Then later, when your child comes down with the sniffles, fever and wracking cough you're certain it was the fault of That Kid? Yet you'll never really know, because often the contagious ones aren't displaying symptoms that you can see. I'm starting to wonder if behavioral issues work the same way or if it really is That Kid who is often defiant and disrespectful to the teacher, their parents and/or other children that has infected the group around them.
My child, my eldest, my beloved daughter who is approaching seven, is driving me completely up a wall. I know I'm not alone, but the feeling of solidarity is not enough to get me through day after endless day of feeling broken, beaten and battered.
I swear, I sent a happy, outgoing, well-mannered child off to kindergarten and got back a shy, rude, miserable beast in return. What is happening in school?! What is happening to my kid?! What are the other kids like if everyone keeps insisting that my daughter is oh-so-much better behaved?! If this is well behaved in comparison, I shudder to think what the home life of the other kids must be like!
If I was a drinker, I'd be drinking heavily at this point.
I've talked quietly, I've yelled, I've given the single swat (Not the same as a spanking, I assure you.) on the bum, I've threatened to swat, I've ceded control over to her father, I've taken stuff away: playdates, movies, computer time, toys, you name it.
I am out of punishments. I am out of patience. I have no empathy left. All I have left are lectures. Constant, constant lectures.
I keep being told it's because of the twins, because she gets less attention at home, because she's "only six!", because she's almost seven, because she's so smart, because she's so emotional. Because! Because! Because!
None. Of. That. Helps.
This morning she turned her back on me and wiggled her ass at me because I asked her to brush her teeth. Yesterday, I asked her to go find her father for me and she asked me if she was "my slave or something?!", so I took away computer access for two days. Then, after screeching about losing privileges and finally doing as she was asked, when she returned, she was repeating "I hate Mommy!" over and over and over again. So I sent her to her room before the smackin' hand could come out and play. And the lying! I can't trust her anymore!
If this is "normal" I'm HATING IT and I want it to STOP.
Gods help me if the twins go through the same thing at 7. I'll run away from home.
Why can't she have picked up on the behavior of the well-mannered, confident, out-going seven year old?
Eric insists that this is a phase and that she'll grow out of it and that I'm just looking for the latest magical technique that will fix everything. He's right. I am looking for that magical technique that will fix everything and the answer can't be either as simple as Ignore her or Spend More Time with Her because I'm not going to last that long. I can't ignore or let her get away with being disrespectful and I don't want to spend time with someone so awful she sucks all of the remaining energy out of me. I don't have a lot of energy left.
Something's gotta give.
I'm afraid it may be my mind.