One handed while trapped under a twin nursing is the short answer. And that takes awhile, especially if I'm stuck typing left-handed. It's pretty slow until they fall asleep. "Asleep" is a misnomer. They're only sleeping if they are on my chest because woe betide you (Isn't that a great phrase? "Woe betide you!") if you dare to put them down on some more appropriate sleeping surface. But then again, when faced with milk induced coma, pillowy breasts, warmth and a heartbeat why would any self-respecting infant want to sleep anywhere else?
The better question is why do I do it?
Mostly it's because I'm constantly nursing a lot. I can't do much of anything else while nursing one twin one-handed and nothing at all if I'm tandem nursing. While it is possible to do stuff one-handed while nursing (e.g. eat, pay bills, edit photographs, cycle laundry) it gets really old really fast. Especially when you have to stop frequently to burp (or else suffer the wrath of the Laundry Gods). So instead, I sit alot and nurse alot and read alot of blogs (Read all of Swistle's archive - 2 years of history. Read all of Notes from the Trenches - 3 years of history.). And write. I'm not going anywhere and I've got time. And I've got stories. Lots of stories.
And they won't always be about vomiting. Promise!
Where's the pause button on this thing?
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Way too late for NaBloPoMo
I really wanted to sign up for NaBloPoMo this month, but got so wound up with baby stuff that I never actually took the ten minutes it would have taken to sign up. I think it's waaaaay too late now, since the month is mostly over, but I joined in on the spirit of things by posting daily. Didja notice?
Sometimes I feel like Jill-come-lately to the whole blogging thing. Then again, I've been journaling for a long time and annoying friends and relatives with long emails packed with pictures, so I suppose the blog was inevitable. I hope you're all enjoying it because I sure have been! It also gives me someplace to put all the pictures.
Well, not all. Just a small number of them. You wouldn't believe how many pictures I take. Heh heh heh!
Sometimes I feel like Jill-come-lately to the whole blogging thing. Then again, I've been journaling for a long time and annoying friends and relatives with long emails packed with pictures, so I suppose the blog was inevitable. I hope you're all enjoying it because I sure have been! It also gives me someplace to put all the pictures.
Well, not all. Just a small number of them. You wouldn't believe how many pictures I take. Heh heh heh!
Emma says...
Grumping.
"This place sucks! It's nothing like the brochure. Land of milk and more milk indeed!"
"This place sucks! It's nothing like the brochure. Land of milk and more milk indeed!"
Monday, November 19, 2007
Happy 41st Anniversary Mom & Dad!
You know, I looked it up and there's no traditional gift for 41 years. Forty years, yeah, that's traditionally rubies and a party thrown by your youngest daughter. But for 41 years? Nothin'! Heck, most of the other sites skipped over years 41-44 and went right to 45.
Instead, they suggested a modern gift: land.
In the words of Dave Barry: I am not making this up.
However, since I am not rolling in the dough, my ability to gift you with a piece of land would be limited to shipping you some soil from my yard. Or else sending you a picture of some land.
Instead, please accept my warmest wishes for a healthy and happy 41st anniversary. May you have many more.
Instead, they suggested a modern gift: land.
In the words of Dave Barry: I am not making this up.
However, since I am not rolling in the dough, my ability to gift you with a piece of land would be limited to shipping you some soil from my yard. Or else sending you a picture of some land.
Instead, please accept my warmest wishes for a healthy and happy 41st anniversary. May you have many more.
Look! New template!
I was bored with the old one and started banging around through the new template options. Took a little messing about to get the picture right, but I think it looks nice.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Tandem Urrrrp!
The deal we had is off. The twins decided to see what would happen if they both threw up at the same time.
The answer is: both Eric and I lost our minds, but only one of us had to take a shower.
Is there a camera on somewhere filming all of this?
Pictures of Emma added to Seven Weeks.
The answer is: both Eric and I lost our minds, but only one of us had to take a shower.
Is there a camera on somewhere filming all of this?
Pictures of Emma added to Seven Weeks.
Did someone say food?
Hey, isn't Thanksgiving coming up? Hmmm...that would be Thursday wouldn't it. Must be time to go shopping for nummy food, but before you go you might want to take a gander at this. The Environmental Working Group has put together a pocket guide of fruits and vegetables and their pesticide burden.
This Thanksgiving we're having the family over at Chez Hatchet because traveling serious distances with the twins is something I'm not up to yet. This way we have the full complement of Baby Containment Devices on hand plus a Grammy, Grampy and Jenni Fasthands. Fortunately I'm just responsible for the dessert, the site and nursing, nursing, nursing.
What's for dessert you say? Pumpkin cheesecake with Bourbon whipped cream. Mmmm! I'll even photograph it for you.
So what are you having for Turkey Day?
Why should you care about pesticides?While it's true that organic food is more expensive, there are clearly certain fruits ans vegetables that we'd be better off sticking to the organic versions. Peaches, apples, sweet bell peppers, celery and nectarines are the top five highest ranked for pesticides and that's even after they've been washed and/or peeled as appropriate to the item. I don't like having to spend buckets of money, however I do like to be healthy, so there are areas I'm more willing to splurge on and my food is definitely it. Besides, the difference between and organic peach and a conventional one is night and day. Also, if you've ever planted your own tomatoes, you know what I'm talking about. Conventional practices can't compete with fresh, organic or home grown fruits and vegetables.
There is growing consensus in the scientific community that small doses of pesticides and other chemicals can adversely affect people, especially during vulnerable periods of fetal development and childhood when exposures can have long lasting effects. Because the toxic effects of pesticides are worrisome, not well understood, or in some cases completely unstudied, shoppers are wise to minimize exposure to pesticides whenever possible.
This Thanksgiving we're having the family over at Chez Hatchet because traveling serious distances with the twins is something I'm not up to yet. This way we have the full complement of Baby Containment Devices on hand plus a Grammy, Grampy and Jenni Fasthands. Fortunately I'm just responsible for the dessert, the site and nursing, nursing, nursing.
What's for dessert you say? Pumpkin cheesecake with Bourbon whipped cream. Mmmm! I'll even photograph it for you.
So what are you having for Turkey Day?
Saturday, November 17, 2007
How legends begin
Family legends often begin in the strangest ways, don't they? Sometimes you're just sitting there, minding your own business and the legend pounces on you, grabbing you by the nape of the neck and shaking you hard enough to rattle your teeth.
We were just sitting there, Logan and I. I eating my pancakes and watching a video about the writer's strike (Which is very funny, by the way.), Logan smiling up at me. I looked down and smiled back, enjoying the moment when It happened.
Logan Pooped.
Logan pooped so much, so long, so prodigiously that it was awesome in its intensity. It was The Miracle Poop. He pooped so hard and so well that he pooped my pants. No really! The miracle? Although fully dressed in shirt, pants, socks and diaper he managed to miss all of his own clothing, entirely. Yet there I was, looking down on him lovingly and wondering what that growing sensation of warmth in my lap was. Reaching down between us with a tentative hand I found out soon enough.
Filled with equal parts laughter and horror, I handed him off to Eric to clean up while I went to go have my first shower of the day.
Guaranteed it won't be my last.
Eric told me of the miraculously clean clothes which I verified with my own eyes.
And thus the story begins. Years from now he'll be telling it to his own kids:
"Daddy! Daddy! Tell us again how you pooped Gramma's pants!"
We were just sitting there, Logan and I. I eating my pancakes and watching a video about the writer's strike (Which is very funny, by the way.), Logan smiling up at me. I looked down and smiled back, enjoying the moment when It happened.
Logan Pooped.
Logan pooped so much, so long, so prodigiously that it was awesome in its intensity. It was The Miracle Poop. He pooped so hard and so well that he pooped my pants. No really! The miracle? Although fully dressed in shirt, pants, socks and diaper he managed to miss all of his own clothing, entirely. Yet there I was, looking down on him lovingly and wondering what that growing sensation of warmth in my lap was. Reaching down between us with a tentative hand I found out soon enough.
Filled with equal parts laughter and horror, I handed him off to Eric to clean up while I went to go have my first shower of the day.
Guaranteed it won't be my last.
Eric told me of the miraculously clean clothes which I verified with my own eyes.
And thus the story begins. Years from now he'll be telling it to his own kids:
"Daddy! Daddy! Tell us again how you pooped Gramma's pants!"
Friday, November 16, 2007
Seven weeks
For reasons I can quite figure out, last week seemed really long. Whew!
Here we are closing in on two months. The twins are growing and changing (their clothes) a lot these days! They are smiling at all three of us now and the fan. What is it with infants and fans, anyway? It also happened with Caitlin. I know because it was significant enough that it was mentioned in her baby book. With the twins, you can lay one or the other down directly beneath a fan and they'll start smiling and cooing and occasionally proto-laughing at it.
At least until the fan starts talkin' some smack and then the crying starts.
No, I have no idea what on Earth a fan could possibly say to upset my babies, but then I also don't know what hilarious stories it's sharing either. It is a mystery.
So the kids are cute, very cute and very vomitrocious. Why? Bugger all if I know. Is it a gas bubble? Over eating? Finger too close to uvula when painting on the thrush medicine? Who knows! Perhaps I should ask the fan....
Logan:
Mr. Crazy Hair
Mr. Crazy Hair finds you funny.
Logan and the gang. Ooh, look! Size order!
Check out Logan's expression. He can't believe I just typed that. Aww mommmm!
Emma:
Smiley.
Laughing.
Being coy.
You want me to do what? What's up with this "tummy time" nonsense?
Thrush. I has it. I show you it.
I was just doing some more research and found out that the fussiness and nursing madness in the evenings is normal. Maybe nothing really is wrong with me and my milk supply! I love the internet! Well, I'll be sucking down some blessed thistle and alfalfa just to be certain. Also, if the combination really does help my supply maybe I can start to pump some and put it away for *gasp* a night out!
I dare to dream the impossible dreams.
Here we are closing in on two months. The twins are growing and changing (their clothes) a lot these days! They are smiling at all three of us now and the fan. What is it with infants and fans, anyway? It also happened with Caitlin. I know because it was significant enough that it was mentioned in her baby book. With the twins, you can lay one or the other down directly beneath a fan and they'll start smiling and cooing and occasionally proto-laughing at it.
At least until the fan starts talkin' some smack and then the crying starts.
No, I have no idea what on Earth a fan could possibly say to upset my babies, but then I also don't know what hilarious stories it's sharing either. It is a mystery.
So the kids are cute, very cute and very vomitrocious. Why? Bugger all if I know. Is it a gas bubble? Over eating? Finger too close to uvula when painting on the thrush medicine? Who knows! Perhaps I should ask the fan....
Logan:
- Is currently fighting sleep on my chest. He makes it hard to type with two hands. He is trying to steal all the breastmilk in both breasts since Emma is slacking off and actually sleeping upstairs.
- Enjoys throwing up on me nightly, directly during or after nursing. Yes, I did say during. Imagine how pleasant that is for both of us? He goes through at least one, but as many as three outfit changes a day. I usually have to get a whole new set of clothing at least once. So far he and Emma take turns on the vomiting. Only one session per day is allowed, apparently.
- Cries less if he gets to shower with me. Since I'm catching the brunt of the mess all down my chest I have to shower anyway.
- Has cradle cap. No fun at all, however it's much easier to deal with than Emma's thrush. We have started scrubbing olive oil into his hair to treat it and then scrubbing his hair out with shampoo afterwards. I keep wanting a little balsamic vinegar and Italian bread to go with it though. He's scrumptious!
- Is too big for newborn clothing anymore and appears to be closing in on 10 lbs. We'll find out for certain at our next pediatric appointment at their 2 month appointment.
- Is still suffering baby acne.
Mr. Crazy Hair
Mr. Crazy Hair finds you funny.
Logan and the gang. Ooh, look! Size order!Check out Logan's expression. He can't believe I just typed that. Aww mommmm!
Emma:
- Still has thrush. How long is this supposed to go on for?! I picked up a new ointment that I don't have to wipe off. It's also Nystantin, the ointment form of the medicine that Emma is taking. I'm starting to think about picking up Gentian Violet. Anything that will get us over this infection would be nice. I still occasionally get the stabbing pains and Emma's tongue is still covered, although not as bad as it used to be. I'm also sucking down lots of Vitamin C, B-12 complex, pre-natals, garlic and acidophilus, but I'm not seeing it end. And that's what I care about. Getting this over with. How long is this supposed to take?
- Is totally smiley now. Very sweet! Helps to make up for her grumpiness. She is even practicing her laugh. She does that funny little indrawn breath laughter. I will try to catch it on video.
- Is getting much better head control. Is also lifting her head up higher when she's on her tummy.
- Really likes the toys attached to the playmat and smiled at her reflection in the little mirror today.
- Has been staying awake more for walks like when we go to pick up Caitlin. This is fine so long as she's in a good mood.
- Is way too big for newborn clothing. So much for those 4 new girly outfits we'd bought! Well, they were cute while they lasted. Now she's wearing Caitlin's old clothes. This is fine except for the summer weight 3 month old items. Not very useful in the fall.
Smiley.
Laughing.
Being coy.
You want me to do what? What's up with this "tummy time" nonsense?
Thrush. I has it. I show you it.I was just doing some more research and found out that the fussiness and nursing madness in the evenings is normal. Maybe nothing really is wrong with me and my milk supply! I love the internet! Well, I'll be sucking down some blessed thistle and alfalfa just to be certain. Also, if the combination really does help my supply maybe I can start to pump some and put it away for *gasp* a night out!
I dare to dream the impossible dreams.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
My First Day Alone: Live Blogging
Yes, really. This is my very first day all alone with the twins without Eric. Caitlin is in school until 2:30 pm and Eric has gone off to a CLE (Lawyerly training class) until 4:30 pm, whilst I moulder at home with the twins. Let's see how it goes!
5:45 am: Nurse Logan until unconscious from sedatives secreted in breast milk. Lay him down in co-sleeper gingerly. Emma is sleeping next to Eric in bed. Caitlin wakes up before her alarm. Direct her to start her day: feed the cats, get dressed, brush her teeth and hair. Expect to repeat directions at least 12 times before each chore is finished. Wonder again whether her hearing is damaged and remember the previous two appointments where they proved it wasn't. Try not to get angry. Stay quiet.
6 am: Escape to twins room where a mountainous pile of clean laundry waits to be folded in their crib. Due to the nightly vomit attack, we do laundry constantly. We'd have to do at least a single load a day just to keep up with the spit up, but the twins are also good at leaking out of their diapers and the rest of us like clean laundry, too. Begin folding clothes. Tip toe back into bedroom at sound of waking babies. Hover silently and will them back to sleep. When this works, return to clothing pile. Remind Caitlin she's supposed to be getting dressed. Repeat.
7 am: Sneak into bedroom with assorted sheets and towels to put away. Give Caitlin her own pile of laundry to put away. Brush Caitlin's hair. Marvel at how Caitlin is now ready except for breakfast and Eric hasn't even showered yet. All that shaving takes time, apparently. Head downstairs to give Caitlin breakfast for the first time in months (That's me feeding her breakfast, not months since she's had breakfast.). Return to folding laundry. Logan wakes. Remove him from room before he wakes up Emma. Change diaper and nurse, while he's still awake and quiet.
7:40 am: Take smiling Logan down to kitchen and get bowl of cereal for self. Possibly my only chance to get breakfast, might as well jump on it while I only have one happy child on me. Watch as Eric makes his own Breakfast of Champions: half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a latte. Yeah. He suggests that they will at least have doughnuts (Wonder why the spell checker doesn't recognize the proper spelling of doughnuts.) at the CLE. Sit Logan into vibrating chair so that I can have access to both my hands. He hangs out and gets all smiley.
7:45 am: Eric and Caitlin exit the house to get to school on time with no yelling. It's a Thursday Miracle. Normally there's lots of yelling in the morning, since Caitlin is apparently incapable of getting ready without constant reminders and threats. Feel amazed that this morning went as smoothly as it did. Emma wakens, crying. Retrieve crier, change diaper and nurse at kitchen table. Logan starts to complain about feeling ignored down there in vibrating chair. Heft crying twin into lap, attempting to keep him from squashing nursing sister.
8:08 am: Eric returns from drop off. Have him hold Logan while I set up a pile of pillows for tandem nursing on the sofa while I continue nursing Emma and holding her with my left hand. The tandem nursing pillow got thrown up on two nights again and its cover is in the wash, so it's not available. Satisfied with nursing nest, I settled both children in and wish I could control the computer or DVD player with my mind. Unfortunately, my mental powers of telekinetics haven't been honed yet, so I sit and watch the twins while they nurse.
8:13 am: Ericescapes the insanity reluctantly leaves his beloved wife to the tender mercies of the twins.
8:30 am: Both twins are unconscious. Make first attempt at placing them in car seats while still sleeping so I can sneak away for a shower. Put away my clothes from huge pile and set out clothes to wear for the day.
8:32 am: Emma wakes up. Snuggle her and start blogging (Why not?). Emma passes out.
8:59 am: I will now make my second attempt at getting her to stay asleep in the car seat so I can take a shower. Wish me luck.
9:29 am: Perform victory dance! Have successfully showered, dressed and braided hair without Screaming Infant Incident. Have successfully Gotten Ready prior to noon for first time in...ages. Congratulate self. Hover nervously over Emma as she makes funny little noises in her sleep. Waking? Laughing? She returns to deeper sleep and I make my way downstairs to...empty the dishwasher. Logan smiles in his sleep.
9:43 am: Finish unloading dishwasher. Upon hearing Logan beginning to awaken, fly through loading dishwasher as fast as possible. Am pushing my luck. Logan insists he's waking up and must be nursed. Give in to the inevitable and nurse him. Read blogs while nursing.
10:30 am: Having knocked Logan out and read up on my favorite blogs, I shall now attempt to return him to the car seat for a nap and attempt to cycle the laundry (sheets that someone peed/dribbled breast milk/spit up on) and maybe go balance the checkbook. I'm crazy that way. Maybe I'll even *gasp* have a snack. A bowl of cereal is not enough energy to feed twins on.
10:38 am: Whoo hoo! Cycling laundry did not wake up Emma. Will now multitask by taking my snack with me to go balance the checkbook in the basement. Lookit me go!
11:13 am - 12:35 pm: Both have awoken and we have a blowout diaper. Chaos ensues. I wasn't kidding about the chaos. I just didn't know how bad it would get. I was in the process of entering my paid bills into Quicken when I heard Logan wake up on the main floor. Right as I grabbed him and noticed he needed a new outfit, I heard Emma start to holler so I went upstairs, grabbing Emma's thrush medicine and a new outfit on the way. I set Logan down next to Emma to the sound of sweet sweet stereo screaming. I changed him first to stop his screaming, figuring that he wasn't starving to death since he'd nursed sooner. Then I worked on giving Emma her medicine while Logan lay next to her on the floor. She screamed non-stop while I worked on him and in return, he screamed while I gave her the medicine and changed her diaper. Fair's fair! Then I took them both downstairs to tandem nurse on the sofa. She was fine with that while he claimed disinterest. Once they were both happy, I gave them a little time on the playmat. I think that lasted 2 minutes before Emma was over it while Logan was happy for closer to 10 minutes.
Here's where things went horribly wrong: I attempted to tandem nurse again on the sofa since Emma was claiming I hadn't nursed her long enough before. I set us up again and just as Emma fell asleep, Logan threw up all over the two of us. I tried to save Emma from it by setting her a little farther away on the sofa cushion. I then tried to set Logan down on the floor with the receiving blankets sopping up the vomit (Managed to catch most of it in the blankets and then turned him chest down right into it!) when I over-balanced Emma. She fell off the sofa onto the floor, head first.
Fortunately I managed to catch her just in time - right before her head went CLUNK! onto the ground. That's the only way I know she didn't actually hit the ground: no clunk. She screamed, though, so I think she bonked into something on the way down or might just have been scared since she had been asleep and then suddenly airborne. So right in a 2 minute span I was covered in vomit and had dropped my baby. Nice! Surely there's a Stupid Parent Award for that combination?
Emma calmed down quickly (another reason why I'm certain she didn't hit the ground) while I gathered up the vomitrocious Logan and took him upstairs. Emma objected to being left behind in the car seat, so I came back for her and installed her in the swing in the bedroom, being careful to keep her clean body away from my icky self. Then it was off to the bath for Logan and a new set of clothes for me. When we got out, Emma was fast asleep. I checked her head for bruises and didn't find any so I left her to sleep and took Logan off to nurse him again.
I think I don't like tandem nursing. I can't burp anyone effectively and if I don't burp them, they are going to throw up on me. And now I've dropped my baby as a direct result.
Now I think I shall wallow in parental guilt for awhile while eating lunch.
1:09 pm: Logan wakes up. I change and nurse him while waiting for my soup to warm up.
1:15 pm: The Cavalry arrives in the for of my friend Heather and her daughter Faith! She helps me get a chance to eat lunch by snorgling Logan who fell asleep on my chest but didn't want to be put in the vibrating chair. She shares her Honeycrisp apples with me, I let her snuggle my baby. Fair Trade!
2:15 pm: We say goodbye to Heather because it's time to get Caitlin from school. We toss the twins into their seats and into the car and I head out. At the midway point I park and pull our the double stroller for the walk up to the school. Emma complains about being woken from her swing-induced coma but settles down for the carriage ride. Caitlin collected, we return home. I considered going to the store for stamps and possibly more pants, but Emma convinces me that going home is the wiser course. At the top of her lungs.
2:57 pm: Emma has a blow out. I fix that, change her diaper and clothes and give her another dose of medicine. Now she wants to nurse. Logan begins making wake up noises. I dread having to tandem nurse again. Caitlin distracts Logan long enough for me to mostly nurse Emma, then it's his turn. I work on the tandem thing and try burping him with my hands full of Emma. It is not easy and makes me wonder why I don't have more hands. Eventually Emma passes out so I can focus on Logan. We avoid another round of Throw Up on Mommy when Logan blows out while I'm holding him. Are they conspiring against me? The Laundry Gods are angry today. He gets changed. Emma wants to nurse again. Logan gets tossed into the swing. Emma gets nursed. Emma passes out. Logan is now complaining that he's still hungry. Gotta go.
3:45 pm: The Cavalry arrives in the form of Sierra! However, this is just a temporary reprieve. She and Eric are going out to a lawyerly meet and greet. Some glad-handing, card exchanging, nibbly munching, HiyaHowyadoin' networking thingie. I finish nursing Logan who then gets snuggled by Sierra.
4:13 pm: Eric arrives, warms up lasagna for Caitlin and I, snuggles a baby or two and hears my tale of woe. Forgives me and one-ups me with the tale of Caitlin falling down a flight of steps at 8 months. No harm, no foul. More nursing. We're now getting into the part of the evening where the twins nurse near constantly, I run out of milk and doubt my ability to nurse them for another week much less 12 months and they won't settle down for a nap.
5:22 pm: Eric and Sierra leave me for their soiree. My puppy dog look of desperation doesn't even slow them down.
5:24 pm: Logan threatens to throw up on me again while nursing solo.
5:37 pm: Emma is no longer content to hang out in the swing. Am possibly going insane from needy children. I'm supposed to be able to do this all day every day?
6:11 pm: I am trapped under twins, tandem nursing when I ask Caitlin to take a bath and get ready for bed. Notice I didn't ask her to go to bed, I asked her to take a bath. The whining starts. She's whining about dessert. I tell her that if she continues in that tone there will be no dessert. The threat sends her into paroxysms of whining. Dessert is canceled. Whining gets worse. Baths are now on the Hated List and crying has started. I remain calm under my twin burden and remind her that that attitude is the problem and is what got her dessert taken away. How much more trouble would she like to get in? She finally goes into the bathroom and stomps around. I'm too tired to yell, so I just nurse and wonder if she'll ever take a bath or if she'll start breaking things.
I begin making the mental list of just what the punishment should be for whatever she comes up with in the bathroom. It makes me sad to have to continually come up with punishment plans. Finally she starts showering. Emma finally passes out from milk. I struggle to keep Logan upright and burped to avoid the sudden reappearance of my own milk.
Caitlin finishes her shower. Damp and naked she apologizes for her earlier yelling and asks if she can earn her dessert back. I stand by my earlier punishment and say no. She begins to cycle back up on the whining. Again I tell her that this isn't how you convince me that you have earned dessert back. I know! I'm crazy that way!
6:40 pm: Eric and Sierra return. Caitlin immediately asks Daddy to "talk some sense into" me so that she can have dessert. To her credit, she began by telling him what she did wrong and that she apologized but that she really really wants dessert. Eric, however, stands by my decision and the whining and crying starts back up. He does some magic Daddy Dance and it stops. I relinquish bedtime chores to him while I finish trying to knock Logan unconscious with my breast.
7:21 pm: After a bit of chit chat on lawyerly things, Sierra leaves. I attempt to put the sleeping Logan down but he will not have it! He awakes immediately, although he's in a good mood, so it's a lot easier to deal with. Now it's time for gelato and shortbread cookies.
Rats! Emma just woke up. Guess who will be eating and nursing? Le sigh.
But at least I'm no longer alone.
I tell ya: I could never do this alone. I would never do this without Eric.
5:45 am: Nurse Logan until unconscious from sedatives secreted in breast milk. Lay him down in co-sleeper gingerly. Emma is sleeping next to Eric in bed. Caitlin wakes up before her alarm. Direct her to start her day: feed the cats, get dressed, brush her teeth and hair. Expect to repeat directions at least 12 times before each chore is finished. Wonder again whether her hearing is damaged and remember the previous two appointments where they proved it wasn't. Try not to get angry. Stay quiet.
6 am: Escape to twins room where a mountainous pile of clean laundry waits to be folded in their crib. Due to the nightly vomit attack, we do laundry constantly. We'd have to do at least a single load a day just to keep up with the spit up, but the twins are also good at leaking out of their diapers and the rest of us like clean laundry, too. Begin folding clothes. Tip toe back into bedroom at sound of waking babies. Hover silently and will them back to sleep. When this works, return to clothing pile. Remind Caitlin she's supposed to be getting dressed. Repeat.
7 am: Sneak into bedroom with assorted sheets and towels to put away. Give Caitlin her own pile of laundry to put away. Brush Caitlin's hair. Marvel at how Caitlin is now ready except for breakfast and Eric hasn't even showered yet. All that shaving takes time, apparently. Head downstairs to give Caitlin breakfast for the first time in months (That's me feeding her breakfast, not months since she's had breakfast.). Return to folding laundry. Logan wakes. Remove him from room before he wakes up Emma. Change diaper and nurse, while he's still awake and quiet.
7:40 am: Take smiling Logan down to kitchen and get bowl of cereal for self. Possibly my only chance to get breakfast, might as well jump on it while I only have one happy child on me. Watch as Eric makes his own Breakfast of Champions: half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a latte. Yeah. He suggests that they will at least have doughnuts (Wonder why the spell checker doesn't recognize the proper spelling of doughnuts.) at the CLE. Sit Logan into vibrating chair so that I can have access to both my hands. He hangs out and gets all smiley.
7:45 am: Eric and Caitlin exit the house to get to school on time with no yelling. It's a Thursday Miracle. Normally there's lots of yelling in the morning, since Caitlin is apparently incapable of getting ready without constant reminders and threats. Feel amazed that this morning went as smoothly as it did. Emma wakens, crying. Retrieve crier, change diaper and nurse at kitchen table. Logan starts to complain about feeling ignored down there in vibrating chair. Heft crying twin into lap, attempting to keep him from squashing nursing sister.
8:08 am: Eric returns from drop off. Have him hold Logan while I set up a pile of pillows for tandem nursing on the sofa while I continue nursing Emma and holding her with my left hand. The tandem nursing pillow got thrown up on two nights again and its cover is in the wash, so it's not available. Satisfied with nursing nest, I settled both children in and wish I could control the computer or DVD player with my mind. Unfortunately, my mental powers of telekinetics haven't been honed yet, so I sit and watch the twins while they nurse.
8:13 am: Eric
8:30 am: Both twins are unconscious. Make first attempt at placing them in car seats while still sleeping so I can sneak away for a shower. Put away my clothes from huge pile and set out clothes to wear for the day.
8:32 am: Emma wakes up. Snuggle her and start blogging (Why not?). Emma passes out.
8:59 am: I will now make my second attempt at getting her to stay asleep in the car seat so I can take a shower. Wish me luck.
9:29 am: Perform victory dance! Have successfully showered, dressed and braided hair without Screaming Infant Incident. Have successfully Gotten Ready prior to noon for first time in...ages. Congratulate self. Hover nervously over Emma as she makes funny little noises in her sleep. Waking? Laughing? She returns to deeper sleep and I make my way downstairs to...empty the dishwasher. Logan smiles in his sleep.
9:43 am: Finish unloading dishwasher. Upon hearing Logan beginning to awaken, fly through loading dishwasher as fast as possible. Am pushing my luck. Logan insists he's waking up and must be nursed. Give in to the inevitable and nurse him. Read blogs while nursing.
10:30 am: Having knocked Logan out and read up on my favorite blogs, I shall now attempt to return him to the car seat for a nap and attempt to cycle the laundry (sheets that someone peed/dribbled breast milk/spit up on) and maybe go balance the checkbook. I'm crazy that way. Maybe I'll even *gasp* have a snack. A bowl of cereal is not enough energy to feed twins on.
10:38 am: Whoo hoo! Cycling laundry did not wake up Emma. Will now multitask by taking my snack with me to go balance the checkbook in the basement. Lookit me go!
11:13 am - 12:35 pm: Both have awoken and we have a blowout diaper. Chaos ensues. I wasn't kidding about the chaos. I just didn't know how bad it would get. I was in the process of entering my paid bills into Quicken when I heard Logan wake up on the main floor. Right as I grabbed him and noticed he needed a new outfit, I heard Emma start to holler so I went upstairs, grabbing Emma's thrush medicine and a new outfit on the way. I set Logan down next to Emma to the sound of sweet sweet stereo screaming. I changed him first to stop his screaming, figuring that he wasn't starving to death since he'd nursed sooner. Then I worked on giving Emma her medicine while Logan lay next to her on the floor. She screamed non-stop while I worked on him and in return, he screamed while I gave her the medicine and changed her diaper. Fair's fair! Then I took them both downstairs to tandem nurse on the sofa. She was fine with that while he claimed disinterest. Once they were both happy, I gave them a little time on the playmat. I think that lasted 2 minutes before Emma was over it while Logan was happy for closer to 10 minutes.
Here's where things went horribly wrong: I attempted to tandem nurse again on the sofa since Emma was claiming I hadn't nursed her long enough before. I set us up again and just as Emma fell asleep, Logan threw up all over the two of us. I tried to save Emma from it by setting her a little farther away on the sofa cushion. I then tried to set Logan down on the floor with the receiving blankets sopping up the vomit (Managed to catch most of it in the blankets and then turned him chest down right into it!) when I over-balanced Emma. She fell off the sofa onto the floor, head first.
Fortunately I managed to catch her just in time - right before her head went CLUNK! onto the ground. That's the only way I know she didn't actually hit the ground: no clunk. She screamed, though, so I think she bonked into something on the way down or might just have been scared since she had been asleep and then suddenly airborne. So right in a 2 minute span I was covered in vomit and had dropped my baby. Nice! Surely there's a Stupid Parent Award for that combination?
Emma calmed down quickly (another reason why I'm certain she didn't hit the ground) while I gathered up the vomitrocious Logan and took him upstairs. Emma objected to being left behind in the car seat, so I came back for her and installed her in the swing in the bedroom, being careful to keep her clean body away from my icky self. Then it was off to the bath for Logan and a new set of clothes for me. When we got out, Emma was fast asleep. I checked her head for bruises and didn't find any so I left her to sleep and took Logan off to nurse him again.
I think I don't like tandem nursing. I can't burp anyone effectively and if I don't burp them, they are going to throw up on me. And now I've dropped my baby as a direct result.
Now I think I shall wallow in parental guilt for awhile while eating lunch.
1:09 pm: Logan wakes up. I change and nurse him while waiting for my soup to warm up.
1:15 pm: The Cavalry arrives in the for of my friend Heather and her daughter Faith! She helps me get a chance to eat lunch by snorgling Logan who fell asleep on my chest but didn't want to be put in the vibrating chair. She shares her Honeycrisp apples with me, I let her snuggle my baby. Fair Trade!
2:15 pm: We say goodbye to Heather because it's time to get Caitlin from school. We toss the twins into their seats and into the car and I head out. At the midway point I park and pull our the double stroller for the walk up to the school. Emma complains about being woken from her swing-induced coma but settles down for the carriage ride. Caitlin collected, we return home. I considered going to the store for stamps and possibly more pants, but Emma convinces me that going home is the wiser course. At the top of her lungs.
2:57 pm: Emma has a blow out. I fix that, change her diaper and clothes and give her another dose of medicine. Now she wants to nurse. Logan begins making wake up noises. I dread having to tandem nurse again. Caitlin distracts Logan long enough for me to mostly nurse Emma, then it's his turn. I work on the tandem thing and try burping him with my hands full of Emma. It is not easy and makes me wonder why I don't have more hands. Eventually Emma passes out so I can focus on Logan. We avoid another round of Throw Up on Mommy when Logan blows out while I'm holding him. Are they conspiring against me? The Laundry Gods are angry today. He gets changed. Emma wants to nurse again. Logan gets tossed into the swing. Emma gets nursed. Emma passes out. Logan is now complaining that he's still hungry. Gotta go.
3:45 pm: The Cavalry arrives in the form of Sierra! However, this is just a temporary reprieve. She and Eric are going out to a lawyerly meet and greet. Some glad-handing, card exchanging, nibbly munching, HiyaHowyadoin' networking thingie. I finish nursing Logan who then gets snuggled by Sierra.
4:13 pm: Eric arrives, warms up lasagna for Caitlin and I, snuggles a baby or two and hears my tale of woe. Forgives me and one-ups me with the tale of Caitlin falling down a flight of steps at 8 months. No harm, no foul. More nursing. We're now getting into the part of the evening where the twins nurse near constantly, I run out of milk and doubt my ability to nurse them for another week much less 12 months and they won't settle down for a nap.
5:22 pm: Eric and Sierra leave me for their soiree. My puppy dog look of desperation doesn't even slow them down.
5:24 pm: Logan threatens to throw up on me again while nursing solo.
5:37 pm: Emma is no longer content to hang out in the swing. Am possibly going insane from needy children. I'm supposed to be able to do this all day every day?
6:11 pm: I am trapped under twins, tandem nursing when I ask Caitlin to take a bath and get ready for bed. Notice I didn't ask her to go to bed, I asked her to take a bath. The whining starts. She's whining about dessert. I tell her that if she continues in that tone there will be no dessert. The threat sends her into paroxysms of whining. Dessert is canceled. Whining gets worse. Baths are now on the Hated List and crying has started. I remain calm under my twin burden and remind her that that attitude is the problem and is what got her dessert taken away. How much more trouble would she like to get in? She finally goes into the bathroom and stomps around. I'm too tired to yell, so I just nurse and wonder if she'll ever take a bath or if she'll start breaking things.
I begin making the mental list of just what the punishment should be for whatever she comes up with in the bathroom. It makes me sad to have to continually come up with punishment plans. Finally she starts showering. Emma finally passes out from milk. I struggle to keep Logan upright and burped to avoid the sudden reappearance of my own milk.
Caitlin finishes her shower. Damp and naked she apologizes for her earlier yelling and asks if she can earn her dessert back. I stand by my earlier punishment and say no. She begins to cycle back up on the whining. Again I tell her that this isn't how you convince me that you have earned dessert back. I know! I'm crazy that way!
6:40 pm: Eric and Sierra return. Caitlin immediately asks Daddy to "talk some sense into" me so that she can have dessert. To her credit, she began by telling him what she did wrong and that she apologized but that she really really wants dessert. Eric, however, stands by my decision and the whining and crying starts back up. He does some magic Daddy Dance and it stops. I relinquish bedtime chores to him while I finish trying to knock Logan unconscious with my breast.
7:21 pm: After a bit of chit chat on lawyerly things, Sierra leaves. I attempt to put the sleeping Logan down but he will not have it! He awakes immediately, although he's in a good mood, so it's a lot easier to deal with. Now it's time for gelato and shortbread cookies.
Rats! Emma just woke up. Guess who will be eating and nursing? Le sigh.
But at least I'm no longer alone.
I tell ya: I could never do this alone. I would never do this without Eric.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Life with twins
Why is it that when I'm nursing one twin, if the second twin starts to cry that I start rocking the first twin over and over? It's not like the first twin is upset. Heck, they've got the boob! They're happy!
Then, as the cries get worse, the rocking gets faster and faster. Clearly my subconscious is expecting calming waves are transmissible via twin to twin brainwave.
So far? No such luck.
Updated to add: I forgot to mention that this usually happens when I'm trapped in the car in a parking lot somewhere.
Then, as the cries get worse, the rocking gets faster and faster. Clearly my subconscious is expecting calming waves are transmissible via twin to twin brainwave.
So far? No such luck.
Updated to add: I forgot to mention that this usually happens when I'm trapped in the car in a parking lot somewhere.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Conversations you never thought you'd have
"Misty? I'm going to have call you back. I just got thrown up on."
This conversation brought to you by Parenthood, Breastmilk and the Letter L.
This conversation brought to you by Parenthood, Breastmilk and the Letter L.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Rollin', rollin', rollin'!
Emma rolled over tonight.
While I wasn't looking! Thank goodness she wasn't on the sofa.
Unfortunately, she was so mad at the tummy time that I didn't try to have her repeat it. There's only so much blood loss from my ears that I can take.
Did I mention that she's a screamer? Oh yeaaaaaaaah.
While I wasn't looking! Thank goodness she wasn't on the sofa.
Unfortunately, she was so mad at the tummy time that I didn't try to have her repeat it. There's only so much blood loss from my ears that I can take.
Did I mention that she's a screamer? Oh yeaaaaaaaah.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Life with twins
Imagine if you will:
You're nursing your insatiably hungry infant daughter on your left breast, supporting her with your left arm, while jiggling your infant son with your right arm and trying to avoid getting your cheek smashed in by his thrashing noggin. You're feeling bored and the laptop is right there.
You reach out for it with your foot. You load Firefox by mousing around with your heel. Then you load the blogs you read, again with your heel. You have to press "O" to open all of them at one time, so you tap gingerly and hope you can pinpoint press a key with the tip of your heel. It loads and then you "mouse" over to Swistle.
You really hope your husband comes home soon (He's out getting you a movie because face it, you're not going to sleep anytime soon.), because your arms are getting tired and you have to pee. You're really hoping the phone doesn't ring....
You're nursing your insatiably hungry infant daughter on your left breast, supporting her with your left arm, while jiggling your infant son with your right arm and trying to avoid getting your cheek smashed in by his thrashing noggin. You're feeling bored and the laptop is right there.
You reach out for it with your foot. You load Firefox by mousing around with your heel. Then you load the blogs you read, again with your heel. You have to press "O" to open all of them at one time, so you tap gingerly and hope you can pinpoint press a key with the tip of your heel. It loads and then you "mouse" over to Swistle.
You really hope your husband comes home soon (He's out getting you a movie because face it, you're not going to sleep anytime soon.), because your arms are getting tired and you have to pee. You're really hoping the phone doesn't ring....
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Falling in love again
Eric has been messing around with a media server/audio visual geek thingy and ran across our old camcorder files.
As you may or may not be aware, there's really only one reason to get a video camera: children. Thus, our first video camera was bought for Caitlin's birth and was pressed into service for many Caitlin related documentaries. We just reviewed hours and hours that showed snippets of Life with Caitlin; from the day after she was born up to her third birthday. There are more digital tapes floating around somewhere that Eric has to find and upload onto his computer that cover years 3 on up, but coverage is spotty after 3.
I have to tell you this though: oh my GOD that child was irresistible!
Seeing teeny tiny infant Caitlin morph into one year old, two year old and three year old Caitlin brought tears to my eyes. She was cuter than a bug in a rug! (How cute is a bug in a rug anyway?) It also showed me that Eric spent an inordinate amount of time trying to get her to say Hi, Daddy! for 2.5 years.
I feel like my love for her has been recharged and am looking forward to sharing these videos with her after she returns from her weekend away. I'm also looking forward to Eric filming the adventures of the twins. I say Eric because I'm the one that does the photography. Moving pictures are up to him. I'll also see if I can't get him to upload some of those videos to post on the blog. After all, this much cute has to be shared!
As you may or may not be aware, there's really only one reason to get a video camera: children. Thus, our first video camera was bought for Caitlin's birth and was pressed into service for many Caitlin related documentaries. We just reviewed hours and hours that showed snippets of Life with Caitlin; from the day after she was born up to her third birthday. There are more digital tapes floating around somewhere that Eric has to find and upload onto his computer that cover years 3 on up, but coverage is spotty after 3.
I have to tell you this though: oh my GOD that child was irresistible!
Seeing teeny tiny infant Caitlin morph into one year old, two year old and three year old Caitlin brought tears to my eyes. She was cuter than a bug in a rug! (How cute is a bug in a rug anyway?) It also showed me that Eric spent an inordinate amount of time trying to get her to say Hi, Daddy! for 2.5 years.
I feel like my love for her has been recharged and am looking forward to sharing these videos with her after she returns from her weekend away. I'm also looking forward to Eric filming the adventures of the twins. I say Eric because I'm the one that does the photography. Moving pictures are up to him. I'll also see if I can't get him to upload some of those videos to post on the blog. After all, this much cute has to be shared!
Friday, November 09, 2007
Moo
In the process of clearing off my desk (You really don't want to know how awful my desk looks.) and looking for the bills, I ran across the two week check up sheet from the pediatrician. The first line under Nutrition caught my eye.
If we go by those average figures, I am producing 48-64 ounces of milk every day.
I'm making up to half a gallon of milk or possibly more.
I really am a cow.
Moo.
NutritionLet that sink in a moment, why don't you.
- Most babies eat every 2-4 hours around the clock. Average is around 24-32 ounces a day.
If we go by those average figures, I am producing 48-64 ounces of milk every day.
I'm making up to half a gallon of milk or possibly more.
I really am a cow.
Moo.
Bath Time
Is it a bad sign that the twins are 6 weeks old and I've only bathed them 3 times?
Umm...
Before you freak out and call CPS, you'll be relieved to know that my mom and husband have been right on top of all our bathing needs. I've been busy. Yeah, that's it. Busy! You know, nursing the other twin whilst the dirtier of the pair (Read: the more vomitrocious of them.) was bathed.
That and I'm a big chicken.
Infants are slippery! And very loud when wet. Really loud. Really loud in an enclosed space. They complain mightily, those slippery little devils. So I left it up to Eric after mom returned to the wilds of Canada and he was great it it! And I was busy nursing. That is until one day when Emma was sleeping while Logan was in desperate need of a bath (Hint: vomit was involved.). Eric then got all uppity and made me do it. Rats!
This was Logan's response:
Today, however, I proved just how much I'd learned in the intervening bathing period. Today I washed Emma, little Miss Screams A Lot. You know what? It went really well! She hardly screamed at all. Yes, minimal screaming is the best you can hope for when it comes to Emma and bathtime.
This time around, I washed her in the tub, using the Safer Bather and it went really smoothly. A short scream for daring to remove her clothes and one to lodge her official complaint about being placed in the water. After that, once I warmed her up by pouring water over her nicely plump tummy she was OK with it. One final scream to acknowledge leaving the bath and that was it!
Maybe Logan will give me a second chance when he hears about this!
Umm...
Before you freak out and call CPS, you'll be relieved to know that my mom and husband have been right on top of all our bathing needs. I've been busy. Yeah, that's it. Busy! You know, nursing the other twin whilst the dirtier of the pair (Read: the more vomitrocious of them.) was bathed.
That and I'm a big chicken.
Infants are slippery! And very loud when wet. Really loud. Really loud in an enclosed space. They complain mightily, those slippery little devils. So I left it up to Eric after mom returned to the wilds of Canada and he was great it it! And I was busy nursing. That is until one day when Emma was sleeping while Logan was in desperate need of a bath (Hint: vomit was involved.). Eric then got all uppity and made me do it. Rats!
This was Logan's response:
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Who the heck is this? What's she doing?
OK, the hair washing is nice. Wait! Why is she taking off my clothes?! Doesn't she know it's cold in here? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
This sink is cold, but the running wet is nice. Why'd she just turn it off? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! It's cold again! Aaaaaaaaah! The wet stuff is cold again! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! I'm slipping! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
This is ridiculous! Get the guy in here! Don't you need licenses for this stuff? Training? Practice? Anything? Will they let any old person wash a baby? Aaaaah!
Oh, is it over now? Thank goodness!
Stick to makin' milk, lady. Clearly that's the only thing you're good at."
Today, however, I proved just how much I'd learned in the intervening bathing period. Today I washed Emma, little Miss Screams A Lot. You know what? It went really well! She hardly screamed at all. Yes, minimal screaming is the best you can hope for when it comes to Emma and bathtime.
This time around, I washed her in the tub, using the Safer Bather and it went really smoothly. A short scream for daring to remove her clothes and one to lodge her official complaint about being placed in the water. After that, once I warmed her up by pouring water over her nicely plump tummy she was OK with it. One final scream to acknowledge leaving the bath and that was it!
Maybe Logan will give me a second chance when he hears about this!
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