You're sitting on the sofa, nursing your child. Do you:
- Nurse the baby to sleep and pass out with it.
- Nurse the baby to a certain point of sleepiness and then put it into its crib and let it fall asleep there.
- Nurse the baby to a certain point of sleepiness and then lovingly pat and soothe it until it falls asleep, then place it into its crib and nap in your own bed.
- Nurse the baby. Continue nursing the baby. This baby has no Off switch.
The sound of the phone wakes you. Do you:
- Wake up, startled, completely unsure of how much time has passed. Five minutes? Thirty minutes? Two minutes, four seconds? Long term sleep deprivation has shattered your internal clock. You do not actually answer the phone because you can't get your brain to engage your legs.
- Answer the phone, then return to whatever you were doing.
- What phone? You have the ringer turned off. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
- Nurse the baby. Curse the caller under your breath. Consider getting caller id (if you don't have it) or consider calling whomever it is back at 3:05 am. Baby might be sleeping then.
You notice that your arm is going numb from holding the baby. Do you:
- Gently switch the baby's position to be more comfortable for you and then curse your folly. You have woken the sleeping baby.
- You're busy getting stuff done. That baby is sleeping on its own. Sucker!
- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sleep is blissful, is it not?
- Nurse the baby. Let arm, legs, and feet go numb. Do Not! Disturb! Potentially! Slee--! Crap! Baby heard your thoughts and is fully awake again. Thanks a lot. Curse the world for existing.
Your baby is now awake. Do you:
- Lie there and pretend to be asleep, hoping baby will buy it and fall asleep again while you silently cursing your stupidity and you mentally prepare a blog post about it. Too bad the computer isn't nearby.
- Pat and soothe the baby back to sleep. Nap time isn't over yet, Junior! Continue with your day.
- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Now you're getting to the really good part of your dream. Baby is, too. What an angel!
- I hate you! I hate you and all of your little sleeping buddies! Devise evil plans for those that answer C.
Your baby latches on again and falls back to sleep. Do you:
- Thank your lucky stars and pass out for another unknown time period. Determine you can't fall asleep (Why?! Why?!) and go make up a blog post.
- Your house is clean, your bills paid, your dinner planned (and possibly even cooking in the slow cooker), your laundry done and you are showered and perky. Must be time to go pick up any other kids from school!
- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Roll over and sigh happily. Get more comfortable. Someone else is taking care of your child in the afternoon while you rest.
- Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Wonder how much sleep you'd get if you offered your soul to an unspecified supernatural power? Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
If you answered:
- You are me. Hi me!
- You are so darned organized! Give yourself a big hand and take a bow!
- You are a Sleep Swami. Teach me your ways, O Wise One!
- You are exhausted. I'm sorry. I'll think quieter next time. Hi Ali! (Sorry, couldn't resist!)
My last quiz is here.
Updated to add: Wow! That was exactly one year and one month ago! I'm goooood! Or exactly eleven months ago. Whatever! My math abilities are just as wrecked as my time sense.