Crying Wolf

So there we were, Caitlin and I, she having a bath and I doing the bathing. As usual, we were going over the events of the day when suddenly....

Caitlin: "My friend S was complaining about her hair. She said that her hair was flat and lifeless [What? Are they watching shampoo commercials?] and that mine is poofy and beautiful. Then she said, 'I'm going to cut your hair off! I'm going to cut all of it off!'"
Me: "What?!" Tension rising. "What do you mean? Was she kidding?"
C: "No, she meant it."
Me: "She's jealous of your hair?"
C: "Well, S only has short hair and was complaining about it." Something about lifeless, dull, flat hair - I'm not kidding!
Me: "What happened next?"
C: "She jumped up, got the scissors and cut my hair!"
Me: Beginning to get angry. "Where?" The tresses do not look shorn, but that doesn't mean I'm not missing something.
C: "Just a little off the bottom."

Gah!

Big discussion ensues where I point out that it's not okay that her friend cut her hair off and that it's not okay to let your friends do things to you that you don't want them to do. To be passive. Threw in examples of friends hitting, or using scissors on other parts than hair, inappropriate touching, throwing stuff around in her room. Her eyes were really large and round at this point. Big talk about how no one gets to cut her hair unless it's me and how no one gets to do things to her that she doesn't want them to. Not friends, not family, not even Grammy, mom or dad. No one.

And that it's up to her to keep her friends in line. First you ask nicely, then if that doesn't work, yell and if that doesn't work, it's OK to hit them.

I was referring to stuff that put her in danger. Stuff like inappropriate touching and lopping off her hair and/or coming at her with scissors with intent to harm. I figured if she couldn't get a "friend" to stop after asking or yelling, then hitting would be an appropriate escalation. My process also assumes there are no teachers or adults about when these random semi-sinister happenings take place. Hell, the "hair cutting" took place with a teacher in the room, according to Caitlin!

I turned the remainder of bathtime over to Eric, since I was then winded (Did I mention the 14 oz of twins gets me winded really easy? It sure does!) and needed to calm down and drink some water. Eric returned to me and told me that he had to reword some of what I'd told her because she translated my mini self-defense talk into:

"It's OK to punch T's little sister when she messes up my room!"

Errr...NO.

I asked Eric if he could talk to Mrs. M., the teacher on duty at the time and possibly S's mom to see what all was up with the hair cutting. Riled, but righteous, we wound down the night.

Next day, Eric handled the discussion at school. Mrs. M. is stunned as is S's mom. Everything will be OK, everyone decides and no permanent harm was done - Caitlin didn't come home looking like an underage punk rocker. Later, however, I met up with Mrs. M. after school and she checks in with me and tells me that the whole episode never happened.

Whaaaat?!

Blood pressure...rising!

Turns out that while they may have had the conversation, Caitlin admitted that S never actually cut her hair. There was very little time for S to have done so in the time frame she laid the story out. Besides, all of the scissors in the class are behind where the teacher sits, so she would have noticed a snatch-and-grab.

Oh.

Embarrassment...peaking!

What The HELL?!

You know how you're supposed to always "Believe The Children"? How are you supposed to do that when they make up stories?! ARGH!

So then we had the long talk about lying, making things up and the importance of telling the truth, especially when mommy has asked you repeatedly, "Are you suuuure?!" Then the apologizing to S and her mom on both Caitlin and Eric's part and the feeling not a little foolish on my part for somehow not knowing that while the jealousy may have been real that the cutting wasn't.

Kids!