Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Items of Note: My Belly

I've noticed something recently: I feel like I'm leading with my belly as I walk/lumber/limp/hobble around. Yes, it always enters the room before the rest of me, but this is like being sway-backed or something. As if...my belly has a life of it's own. It has possessed me and I am just being hauled around behind it!

Aieee!

This might explain why it keeps leading me into nice restaurants, too. Nice, air-conditioned restaurants.

Maybe that's why everyone keeps staring at it when we're out in public? Maybe other people can tell that there's something other about my belly and that I am under its control?

And then there are the times when it moves. Without my conscious control!

Aieeee!

Stop it before it takes over the world!

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