Cat cremains are always surprisingly heavy.
Now I have three of them sitting on my mantle, awaiting the day I have a permanent place to put them. Ideally, I'd like a miniature pyramid made of wood, with one side hinged, so I can get into it. Then they'd have a mini cat mausoleum. Very Eqyptian, too.
I've been cleaning a lot, in the last few days and am slowly getting rid of Pixel's stuff. Special cat food, bowl, special treats, etc. Each one feels like a tiny betrayal, and yet I know that it's just stuff and has nothing to do with the cat himself. At some point I'll even have vacuumed up the last of Pixel's hair from the sofa (novel concept, that!) and then what? Just one small box that seems unusually heavy.
By the way, Kaboom has been acting oddly since Pixel died. I don't remember if I mentioned it previously, but from being the kitten that drove Pixel to distraction, he became his friend. The two of them would hang out under the bed together quietly, curled up together. After 16 years of never getting to curl up around another cat (neither Xerxes nor Dart would curl up with him, or with each other - they were only children that way), I imagine that this was pretty nice for Pixel. During his last night, Kaboom stayed under the bed with him the whole time, except for food. It was very sweet.
When we came to get Pixel that Wednesday morning, Kaboom was right next to him and seemed, if possible, concerned. For the last several days he's been looking for more attention from us and doesn't hang out under the bed as much. Neither he nor Domino are eating as much, either, for whatever reason. They aren't losing weight or anything, they're just not scarfing it down like they normally do.
So cats grieve, Eric and I are grieving and Caitlin seems completely over it. After I cleaned the carpet in Pixel's room Caitlin referred to it as "The dead cat's room.". Damn! That was quick! We were both a little taken aback and laughed ruefully. It's better than constantly weeping, I'll give it that.
So there it is - the end of the first wave of cats.