Friday, September 07, 2007

Doctor! Doctor!


I'm never having these children. Never!

Hi there! Welcome to the Weekly Whine, wherein I get to whine about just how pregnant I am. How pregnant am I? Well! Let me tell you!

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant. Thirty-five.

Vital Statistics!
  • Weight: +59 lbs
  • Waist size: 50" +/- .5" depending on water intake
  • Heart rates: ~140s for Logan and ~130s for Emma
  • Fundal measurement: 47 cm. Seven weeks "past due".
  • Cervical dilation: None. Nada. Zip. Did I mention I'm not dilated?
  • Energy: Tired. Oh so tired. I get between 1 to 1.5 hours of sleep before my uterus contracts so hard that it hurts and I have to hobble and limp (How do you limp on both legs, anyway?) while crouched over, to the bathroom and empty my bladder. I think my uterus is attached to my hip muscles due to the way it all seems to contract together. The contraction (Still just Braxton-Hicks!) lasts for minutes before it relaxes again. The pain from the contraction means that I'm performing modified Lamaze breathing to get through the pain, while trying to be quiet and not wake Eric up. And nothing is happening to my cervix. Cervix of steel, indeed! Maybe adamantium. This also means that I am wide awake during these trips, unlike when I was pregnant with Caitlin when I could just roll out of bed, sleepwalk to the bathroom and sleepwalk back to bed. Phooey.
  • My breastbone feels bruised. Is it hands? Feet? Emma's head? Inevitable due to all of that weight pulling on muscles that were never meant to be stretched this far? Due to construction work for a second story that the twins are putting in? Who knows!
They are both so grounded! No baby parties for at least a year! None!

Was I surprised at the news that I still wasn't dilated? No, but I really wanted to be dilated. I wanted to be told that maybe I'd be due sooner rather than later. I'm less than 3 weeks out, but this is going to be the longest 3 weeks of my life. Logically, I know it's good for the twins to stay in there but have you ever experienced chronic pain? Gaaaah! So now I feel like I can empathize with obese people, asthmatics and arthritics - all at the same time!


So...still want twins?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


Up to three (3) weeks left!


Missy said...

That is just not fair. If you have the intense contractions the VERY LEAST mother nature should do is give you some dilation action to go with it.

Where does one file a complaint about such matters?

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I think it just goes into the "Sucks to Be You!" Circular File of Life.

But boy, I tell you, I'm not doing this again!

Oh...but I wasn't anyway. Hmmm.

Ali said...

I have so much to look forward to...

Woman with a Hatchet said...

You are so psyched that you aren't having twins! It's not normally this bad with just one, although YMMV and it depends on the eventual size of your son.

Now is the time to go find out how big your honey was at birth and notice his cranial size.... : )

Missy said...

I believe, if memory serves me correctly that I was hollering not, "give me my epidural" as they wheeled me down to the OR to deliver #2, but rather, "give me my tubal!" I DO remember mentioning it more than once during the C-section at the very least.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Missy: Hah!

Actually, Eric will be doing the snipping. I have endured enough for the team, I believe.

I'm also terribly proud of him for it is his idea, I just thoroughly endorse it.

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