I can't sleep

I don't mean sometimes.

I mean ever.

Anymore.

Even my neat new chair is no match for my massive uncomfortable-ness. This massive belly, these aching hips. This painful need to pee every hour or every 1.5 hours (if I'm lucky). It isn't even the sensation one gets that you need to pee, either. It's these massive Braxton-Hicks contractions that, in the middle of the night, tighten down over my belly so hard that I can't breathe and I'm in pain. Oh, that will wake me up to pee, alright! No matter how deep the Benadryl coma gets, pain will wake you up and make you move.

Besides, did I tell you that the twins have started work on a second story addition? They've been trying to stretch into my ribs every day now for the last week. Sitting down or laying down I'm in pain, right where the top of my uterus meets the underside of my breasts. You know, where you bend. That space you normally have between your ribs, where your sternum is? Yeah, right there. Someone's head or feet (or both) are jammed up in there and I feel bruised.

I think I prefer the pain in the belly button instead.

By the way, did you notice my new countdown Widget to the right? Notice how the twins are floating about in there? You know what I want to know? How freakin' tall is that woman that 24 days out from her due date she has twins floating around in there? Mine sure aren't floating freely. They're jammed up against one another, elbowing one another and me in a desperate attempt to find a smidge more room! So if you can find a more "realistic" countdown timer, you let me know.

Oof! I need a longer torso!