Monday, September 03, 2007

If it's Labor Day...

Why aren't I in labor?

I feel like I'm done. Aren't I done yet?

Why am I not done yet?

You can't even stick a fork in me to test my doneness because of the contractions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twenty four days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for the babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will only get harder after they're born.

I'm at the Decidedly Un-fun portion of the pregnancy and I've gotta tell ya:

I am OVER it!

Unfortunately, it is not done with me yet.

I was asked earlier today something like "Isn't any of this good?", by someone that has never been pregnant. How do you express to someone that has never been there that yeah, there are good parts to being pregnant but that you reach a point where all of the good pales in comparison to all of the continuous bad? I'm not the type to blow unicorns, rainbows and sunshine up your ass - this is the part of the pregnancy that sucks! Movement is good. I like to feel them banging around inside because it reassures the irrational part of my brain that they are still OK.

  • Contractions are constant and bad.
  • My breastbone feels bruised.
  • My stretchmarks are growing and scary looking.
  • Sleep is impossible.
  • My joints are swollen and ache, all the time.
  • I can't breathe.
  • Food is necessary but unappealing.

Blah, blah, blah. Whine, whine, whine.

  • My health is good (Except for the stuffy headed allergy thing.). Hooray!
  • I'm not on bedrest. Hooray!
  • The babies are healthy. Hooray!
  • My cervix is closed. Hooray!

But...

I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to get this show on the road! I'm ready to not be able to sleep because the babies are crying/nursing rather than because I'm swollen and in pain.

I want the product, not just the process.

The crunchy granola nurse that I had 6 years ago that told me to "Enjoy the process of becoming a mother!" was out of her mind. This is not the process of becoming a mother. This is the process of gestating. Becoming a mother is the part that happens once that baby is in your arms. You don't even have to be the one that gave birth to be a mother (e.g. adoptive, surrogate, etc.). Mothering is all that stuff that comes afterwards - where you put into play all of those thoughts and ideas about how to raise a child. All the tips and tricks of parenthood that you gleaned from watching others, reading books, remembering your own childhood or made up entirely on your own.

That's being a mother.

This is incubation.

And this incubator is tired!


7 comments:

Underemployed Nama said...

You get to whine. The last month--excuse me, 24 days--of any pregnancy are just hard. In your case, double that sentiment. Wish we, your faithful readers, could each take on a piece of it for you. Barring that, you've got lots of folks sending good vibes, girl, hoping the time races along.
Gentle hugs.

Red Flashlight said...

Mexican Independence Day in T minus 12 days. . .

Of course, I don't mind if the twins come early. Are they ready? Have they finished making lungs, for example?

My phone is "on" all the time, even in the movies . . . just in case . . .

(Bourne Ultimatum was okay, btw, except for the dreadful and unhelpful hand-held camera shots).

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Thanks, Nama!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

You see?! That's exactly what I thought about the Bourne movie! The handheld camera shake was driving me INSANE!

There's no reason for it either.

That and the constant, frenetic zooming in and out. If they were trying for a "feel" they got "Coked up camera-man" down pat!

Lungs are made, they just need to mature. I think they need to hurry up because my turkey timer has already popped.

ellen said...

I know this doesn't help much but hang in there. You are so close to done! Meeting those little ones who have caused you so much discomfort will make it all worth while.

I don't fully understand where you as since I've never carried twins but I was at one point 2 weeks over due. I cried every morning when I woke up and was still pregnant. He did end up being a 10 lb 4 oz kid which isn't much to brag about after Misty's incredible feat!

Sending much love your way!

Scylla said...

There is nothing fun about the last month of pregnancy. Even the excitement of incoming babies pales in the shadow of being a giant whale-like creature of astronomic proportions.
Complain away my love, complain away.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

I'd still say a 10lb 4oz kid is something to brag about, even if Misty beat everyone else's child she's also just bigger than the rest of us.

As of week 33, I was carrying a 10lb 3oz child(ren). Each week I could be potentially gaining .5 lbs more on each of them, if they're still gaining at the "normal" rate. I find out where they're at on 9/17, another U/S.

So Ellen, imagine being 7 weeks overdue. That's me. Arrrgh!

BTW, my system marked both your comment and Misty's as spam, so I didn't see them until today. Hmm.

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