Monday, August 27, 2007

Mai node! Mai node!

Oooh! My hed!

No, itz not bad enuf dat Ize massive pregnant, now I gots allergy attack.

(Sorry, can't type like that for too long without feeling like I'm losing brain cells.)

I am descending into yet another Circle of Pregnancy Hell. Let me list them for you!
  1. Exhaustion.
  2. Nausea (Although my version was more like Pregnancy Purgatory, Hell would have been for 6 months or more and involved lots of vomiting).
  3. Starvation.
  4. Swelling.
  5. Constant peeing.
  6. Hemorrhoids.
  7. Overheating.
  8. Sleeplessness.
  9. Joint pain.
  10. Contractions.
  11. Allergies.

You know, I didn't used to have allergic reactions other than to citrus fruit and then, only if I gorged on it. I find that it's very hard to not inhale mangoes when they are in season. However, that would only result in the swollen mouth feeling, nothing worse than that. Now? As I get older I find that I am having allergic reactions to pollens in the spring and the fall. The first time I noticed anything awful was last year.

I almost scratched my eyes out. I went crying to Eric, thinking I needed to get to the doctor right away because something terrible was happening to my eyes! He took one look at me, patted me on the back and welcomed me to Suffering From Allergies. Then he handed me some Claritin and told me to calm down.

Whaaaat?! This is what allergies feel like? A cold you can't shake, a swollen head, eyes that tear constantly and need to be ripped from your skull? That's an allergic reaction? WTF?! Where is the evolutionary advantage in this?! Man, I'd have crawled into a sabertooth tiger's mouth last night, just to get my head removed so I could sleep!


So I called the nurse this morning and explained that the Preggosaurus requires relief or I will shove my head into a blender for relief. OK, maybe just the oven. I don't know, but something! She recommended Benadryl or Claritin as being safe, but that Benadryl would make me sleepy. I scoffed and said that I'm not sleeping anyway, so that wouldn't bother me any! She empathized with my exhausted-stuffy-headed pregnantness and sent me on my way. I had Eric hunt up a bottle and sucked down 3.5 tsp.


Cherry flavored cough syrupy stuff makes me want to hurl! Always has. As a kid, it was almost more than I could bear. I dearly wished they'd had more chewable pills when I was young because that Robitussin cherry oh-my-god-I'm-going-to-hurl flavor? I'd almost rather remain ill than to taste that.


Updated to add: Holy moly! I understood it would make me "drowsy". I had no idea that they meant "Put you into a coma for four hours!". Or that I could slide back into said coma as easily as I do. Whew! Tomorrow: Claritin. I feel rather like Denis Leary. Heh!


Red Flashlight said...

Holy moley, Hatchet, could there be more? It's almost like Joss Wheden planned your pregnancy.

So sorry to hear about the allergies, but I'm glad your honey was there to set you straight on the whole puffy, painful, watery, itchy joy that is allergies.

See why wall-to-wall carpeting is so evil??

Scott said...

Next time you have to try the red death flavor.. pinch your nose.. and keep it pinched until you've swallowed the stuff, had a drink and washed it from your mouth, I promise it will help.

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Eric suggests that Joss Whedon isn't involved because no demons have appeared. Me? I'm not so sure about that part yet.

It feels like my belly has a life of its own many days. Fortunately, there haven't been any really weird faces or hands pressed against it. I'd freak out for certain.

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