Thursday, November 29, 2007

Super Powers

We are a family of super powered people over here.

Note that I did not say Super Heroes. That is because not all of our powers are benign.

Me? I have magical breastmilk production, the ability to knock infants unconscious with said milk and I can turn a crabby baby into a happy one by just placing them near my chest.

Eric can make up songs instantly that soothe the savage infant breast, but he has a dark power as well. He can take a sleeping, happy baby from me and turn it into a crabby, awake and crying one.

Emma has a sonic attack. She has the loudest screams I've ever heard. She also can knock you out with the cuteness of her smile and the magnetic attraction of her cheeks.

Logan can kill you with cuteness when he smiles and coos. His ability to cover you in vomit is only matched by Emma. I'm working on my Dodge skill.

Caitlin has the power of Super Reading and Super Whining. She can make your ears bleed inside a minute. She's also amazingly loving, so we're keeping her.

What's your super power?


suessi said...

I just stumbled across your blog. Love it!
My superpower...telepathy...I can say don't you even THINK about it, with one precise glare!!

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Thanks Suessi and welcome!

Ooh, nice power! Does it stop the behavior, though?

Scylla said...

Hmmm.... my super power..... let's see.

I can stay awake on no sleep in the most boring of circumstances.

I can handle being vomited, peed, or shat on without any response other than a sigh.

I can redirect manic child energy in a positive direction about 80% of the time.

Do any of those count? Can I trade them in for the ability to fly or see through Brad Pitt's clothes?

Woman with a Hatchet said...

Misty, I wish I had the first power. Would have been useful in mtgs. The BP thing is really specific, though. Does it work on film?

Anonymous said...

I am the Sun Goddess. No matter where I go, there will be vast amounts of sunshine to burn my skin. Really. We went to Prince of Wales Island where the average rainfall for that period was over 120 inches- and we had 6.

My daughter is the Goddess of Gravity. Wherever she passes, all objects in her vicinity will fall to the floor.


Swistle said...

Paul has the song superpower too! He can make up songs that not only soothe a cranky baby but also a cranky wife.

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